Zane walks to my bedside slowly, conflict in his eyes. I’m afraid to ask what he’s thinking, but I do it anyway.
“Are you mad?” I whisper.
“No, darling. I’m not mad. I’m overjoyed.”
“You don’t look overjoyed.”
“Because this is complicated, Willow. More complicated than it’s ever been.” Zane takes my hand and threads his fingers through mine, giving them a light squeeze. “I can’t stop thinking about it. You got shot. One wrong move and I would have… I could have lost all three of you, Willow.”
I swallow hard at the sticky lump in the back of my throat. I’ve never seen him so shaken before. Zane’s normally so composed, so sure, but now… Now his shoulders tremble, his breathing is rapid, his eyes are bloodshot and dazed. I always thought he was a man who didn’t know fear. Now I know how wrong I was.
“Listen to me, and listen close,” he says gently, but firmly. “Effective immediately, you’re on the sidelines.”
“Zane—”
“Listen. I won’t have you out there where you can get yourself killed. I know how much this means to you, but I’m not going to risk your lives. I’m going to put you somewhere safe, somewhere far away from the fighting.” He brings my hand up and kisses my palm before pressing it against his cheek. “Please, Willow. Do it for me. For our children. Stay as far away from this mess as possible.”
“But what about you?”
“I’m going to put an end to it. All of it. As long as Esteban and Arturo are alive, they’re never going to stop coming after you. I won’t have that. There’s too much at stake now. So I’m going to finish this once and for all. For you, for our children, for our future.”
I take a deep breath, my heart twisting at the devotion and determination in his words. I know he’s right. This does change everything.
“Okay,” I murmur. “Okay, Zane. I’ll take good care of our babies.”
He dips down to kiss me tenderly on the lips. “Thank you, Willow. When I get back, we’ll be a family.”
“Promise me one thing.”
“Anything, darling.”
I touch my forehead to his and close my eyes. “You come back to me—tous—alive.”
Chapter 32
Zane
I’ve spent weeks camped out in foxholes under constant threat of enemy fire. I’ve dealt with hostage situations and rescue operations, deliberately sticking my neck out to see the mission through. I’m no stranger to hardship, to making tough, split-second decisions in the heat of the moment.
But knowing I have to leave Willow and our little ones behind is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
We’ve relocated to a smaller house, one of a few hundred properties that Renata Marrones owns to distribute the cartel’s financial assets. It’s in an unassuming town, in an unassuming neighborhood, in an unassuming bungalow in the south of Mexico. Even if the Becerra Cartel is actively looking for Willow and the rest of the Marrones Family, it’d take them forever to find them hiding in plain sight.
“When do you leave?” she whispers to me as I gingerly carry her up the stairs to her new room. It’s got plenty of light and a view of the gardens in the backyard, along with a whole wall full of books I ordered special for her.
“First thing in the morning. I need to make a few calls before I go.”
She picks at her fingernails as I set her down on the bed. She’s healing well, but I want to keep her off her feet as much as possible. Her health and comfort are my top priorities, especially now that we know about our kiddos.
I love my daughter very much. Anna is my pride and joy in every sense of the word. If Teresa and I had stayed together, I probably would have wanted to expand our family. It wasn’t in the cards for us, but now? Now, things are different. If someone had told me all those years ago that all this was going to happen, I would have laughed and said they were crazy. For some reason, the voice sound an awful lot like Knox in my head. The strangest thing is I don’t regret any of it. I’m probably in way over my head, and I’m obviously terrified about what might happen, but for the first time in a long time, I feel strangely at peace.
Every decision I’ve ever made has led me to her. So even if I’m in for the fight of my life, at least I know my choices aren’t wrong. When it comes to Willow—and now our children—I’ll do anything if it means giving them the life they deserve.
“You still need lots of rest,” I tell her, tucking her into bed.
“You can’t stay for even a little bit?”
I press a kiss to her hair. “No, my love. Think of it this way, the sooner I get this job done, the sooner I can come home and stay.”