“Look out there.” I pointed beyond the Carwyn City limits, out into open country, out to where Pointsville wasn’t even visible. “There’s a suburb out there — Pointsville, you might have heard of it — but that’s where most of the Silver Claw pack actually lives. My parents live there, too. My dad and my mom.” My chest tightened as I mentioned my mother.
She’d looked so very tired the last time I’d seen her, and she’d sacrificed so much to look after Dad. Her current exhaustion felt like my fault, too. I’d allowed Saundra to take the livelihoods and lives of both my parents. It would take a long time to fix that and to forgive myself.
“My mom is a caretaker to my dad. He’s sick, you see,” I explained. “She works every day, nearly around the clock, even with additional caregivers and nurses on hand. Dad has become her whole life, and she’s working herself to the bone to ensure he’s well looked after.”
Jo looked up at me. “I’m sorry about your dad. I didn’t know.”
I shook my head slowly. “But why would you know? Even some members of my own pack don’t know the true extent of his sickness. Anyway, remember the night at Clover’s when I didn’t stay?” Guilt tendrils curled through my mind as I remembered the way I’d rushed off without a word to anyone.
Jo had deserved a goodbye, or an explanation at least.
She nodded. “I remember.”
Of course she remembered. It was the same night she’d been attacked. The thought returned that if I hadn’t left so abruptly, things might have played out very differently.
But I couldn’t think like that. I couldn’t change the past, only influence the future. It might even be a good thing Jo’s attackers had shown their hand so early. If my presence had prevented the first incident, we might not have known as much as we did now.
“Well.” I pushed my thoughts to one side as I picked up my story again. “That night, I drove out to Pointsville to pay Mom and Dad a visit. It was overdue, although I don’t usually do my visits in the evening.” I laughed. “But it probably seems that way.” After all, Jo and I had first spent an evening together.
She laughed softly, too, and her fingers moved in mine, her skin warm. She grounded me, and I basked in that unfamiliar sense of security as I continued to speak.
“When I was there, I saw Mom’s situation. She needed a break. And I knew about your mother’s trip…and I just thought maybe they’d be good for each other. Your mom has suffered a bereavement, my mom is suffering a new bereavement each day, almost…” I paused. “Bereavement in slow motion as she loses my dad right in front of her.”
Jo leaned against me. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“I didn’t really do anything about my idea until I asked Mom if she’d like a trip like that. When she seemed so excited, it seemed like a good idea to connect them.”
“I can’t believe you match-made our mothers.” But Jo chuckled as she said it.
I chuckled, too. “I guess. But I did have another motive.”
“Oh?” She lifted an eyebrow, her jewel-green eyes suddenly curious.
“Yeah.” I sighed. This part was more serious. Sending our moms off on vacation together was the fun part. “I was worried about your mom,” I said. “We know you’re being targeted for attack by persons unknown, and I wasn’t sure she was safe. If she’d stayed here, in Carwyn City, I could have guaranteed her safety, like with the protection I’m able to offer you. I would just have extended it. I couldn’t guarantee the same on a cruise, though. She’d have been traveling alone and exposed.”
A small shudder passed through Josephine’s body, and I continued speaking with renewed purpose, trying to reassure her.
“It was easier to guarantee security if my mom was also there. It makes sense for my mom to travel with my soldiers — no one will think twice about those arrangements. The mother of the alpha is always protected.” I lowered my voice. “And Royce is a particularly interesting character in terms of his skillset. Besides,” I added, “both of our moms have been through a lot. They’regoingthrough a lot. They deserve to be treated and pampered, and they deserve the time away from reality.” I glanced at her, but her expression was thoughtful as she stared out of the window.
I couldn’t read what she was thinking. Was she pleased? Angry? Maybe she thought I’d interfered and overstepped. I had madea lotof arrangements without involving her…but that was what I did. I did it for my pack, and I did it for my business. I spotted problems, and I solved them. Partly because my trust only extended to my tiny team if I wanted a job done properly, and partly because the buck stopped with me. I was responsible for everyone’s welfare; there was no one I had to ask for approval. I just had to be confident in my decision.
And usually, I was.
But now, I faltered. Especially when Jo didn’t say anything.
“If you’re unhappy or you think I’ve done the wrong thing, I can probably figure out some way to undo it,” I offered, my mind already racing to untangle the trip I’d created. “Especially if your mom wanted to take the trip alone and I’ve thrown my mom onto her with no consideration for her feelings.”
Jo shook her head. “No, you know what? I think this is for the best. Mom talked about this trip like it was one last hurrah with Dad, but he’s gone. Dad wouldn’t have wanted some sort of farewell tour or victory lap, you know? He wouldn’t have wanted to be the one thing that stopped Mom being able to take her life forward. Going on the excursion solely to honor Dad would have been exactly that — standing still. Holding her grief to her and living in that sadness. She might still do some of that, but changing the focus of the trip will be healthy. I’m sure it will.” She nodded as though agreeing with herself. Then she laughed and tucked a curl of hair behind her ear.
I tracked the movement, distracted by the memory of how soft her hair was. I rubbed my fingertips against each other as though I could feel it there now.
“You should have seen the excitement on her face this morning, actually.” Jo smiled as though she was conjuring up the memory of what she was describing. “She was so happy about the unexpected upgrades, and the idea of company, and the extra personal service of the concierge.”
“So it will be a treat for her, too?” I smiled as I sought Jo’s approval. I rarely did that. No one else needed to confirm I’d done the right thing.
“Absolutely.” Jo smiled again, then she turned serious. “Mom’s life has always been very dedicated to Dad and me. I’m a bit worried about what she’ll do now. I mean, I wasn’t worried — she had the trip, and that was her focus. She was able to go straight from planning Dad’s funeral service to planning this without a break in between. But I was worried about what would happen after, in the quiet, with nothing to distract her. I think that would have been hard.”
I stroked her upper arm, although the small gesture of comfort didn’t seem enough. I wanted to do more. I wanted to touch her more. The softness of her skin intoxicated me, and her jasmine scent filled the air in my office.