The kiss was thorough and as passionate as anyone watching could probably stand. As much as I was comfortable with on display in public, anyway. I responded, my body always eager around him.
I stood on my tiptoes again, pressing as close as I could, aligning our bodies and wrapping my arms around his neck, fully involved in the kiss, blanking out everything else.
Only Patrick existed.
Eventually, he drew away, shaking his head as he laughed softly. “What you do to me…” he murmured as he led me to the SUV, although he didn’t answer my question about whether my safety was all he wanted.
He helped me inside and I buckled up next to Charmaine. Patrick gave instructions to the driver about where we wanted to go, then he shut the door as the SUV pulled off into the night.
I twisted to look out of the back window, looking back at Patrick as he watched us drive away. I was emptier now, hollowed out. Missing him already.
20
PATRICK
Irode the elevator to my penthouse, my head throbbing a separate, discordant beat with my heart, and rubbed my face, weariness settling over me. When I opened the door to my home, the usual sense of sanctuary was missing. Instead, the emptiness here was loud. The silence itched against my skin, and restlessness moved through me. All I could see was Jo. Her scent still lingered on my clothes, even though it had been somewhat obscured under the slightly dank aroma of the Novelli.
Everything about Jo Everly teased me. She teased my wolf, and I almost didn’t know what to do about it. She was carefully undoing every condition I’d placed on myself since Saundra, and she was working against each one of my rules.
I could see her and the way she’d looked at me. Images and snapshots of Jo danced through my mind, and her words played on a repeated loop in my head.
Everything she’d said suggested she wanted me, and that made this situation so much worse. How could I possibly convince my wolf to back off if Jo gave every sign that she wanted the same thing?
But her wanting me was also better. Easier. As much as I needed my wolf to calm down, I didn’t know if I could cope with the internal fallout if Jodidn’twant me. My wolf might go completely mad.
So many frustrating things had happened since I started negotiations to buy Gold Moon.
Jo was perhaps the most frustrating of all.
But she also satisfied me and brought me the kind of peace that I hadn’t known I craved deep down.
There were so many things in my life I couldn’t control right now. Jo was by far the biggest, but there was also Dad’s health and Mom’s increasing fatigue.
I’d seen it the other night — it was like life was being sucked right out of her. She loved my dad, but being his constant caretaker was exhausting her. She needed a break.
I just had to make sure everything was all right for everyone going forward, and I needed to pick my battles and fix the things I could. That was the worst part about being alpha and the one everyone relied on.
Ijust had to make sure everything was okay going forward.
Ineeded to pick my battles and fix things.
There was no one else but me. And I rarely felt it, but tonight it was lonely at the top.
But maybe…just maybe I had an idea for at least one of those issues. I needed to work out all of the details and contact Mom, to make a plan about how to get her a break, and how to keep everyone safe. Perhaps I could solve both of those problems at once.
Those thoughts brought with them a renewed burst of energy, and where I’d just been ready to hit my mattress and crash, now fresh restlessness worked through me. I needed to do something and be active.
I walked to my bedroom and stripped out of my clothes, enjoying the faint perfume of jasmine that lingered on the fabric and wrinkling my nose at the river water. All of these items were due a trip to the dry cleaner.
My gym was right off my bedroom, and I appreciated not needing to go down onto the lower floors of Lycan Heights to use the communal space. It wasn’t that I didn’t love mixing with my pack members. It was just hard to never be off duty, and to be the one answering questions and putting out fires at Apex, then coming home to do the exact same thing. Sometimes, I just needed a break, and I’d ensured my condo had everything I needed to offer me exactly that.
Once home, I didn’t really need to leave unless I wanted to. And I worked late enough most days that I rarely did.
I changed into lightweight shorts and a tank top, and approached my punching bag, finally allowing my rage from the last few days to surface as I strapped on my gloves. I needed this outlet.
I’d kept my wolf pinned down as much as I could, but I needed something more. Every time Jo had been in danger, my fury had grown, especially because there didn’t seem to be anything proactive that I could do, and reacting rather than acting really wasn’t my style.
I was a pack alpha and a CEO. People did what I wanted. They bent to my whim. No one took me by surprise or did things I wasn’t aware of.