I really didn’t want to do this. My heart started to pound faster until the only sound in the whole world was blood rushing through my ears, as I looked out at a sea of faces I didn’t recognize. It was as if every employee and friend my father had ever known had come out for today.
His popularity almost warmed my heart, but anxiety kept me slightly chilly.
The words of my eulogy ran through my head, but there was no way I could say them. They were too formal, too rigid.
And there were too many of them.
“There isn’t much I can add to what Mom said.” And that much was true. “Just that I loved my dad more than anything. His death was entirely unexpected, and it’s been devastating for all of us.” I stopped and cleared my throat before continuing, trying not to think too hard about my words. If I didn’t think about them, I’d make it through. “I can only hope to make him proud by continuing his legacy the way he would have wanted at Gold Moon Inc.” I nodded at Mom, giving her the signal to scatter the handful of ashes she’d brought.
She sprinkled them onto the river surface, and I turned and watched as they floated away, both ending Dad’s journey and beginning it. According to Mom, he was going to end up a lot of places in the next two years.
I wandered back toward Wes after the service ended, and he took my elbow, holding me up and guiding me away as he murmured into my ear, “At least your mom didn’t present your dad in the urn she chose.”
An image of the glass dildo flashed through my mind, and I smothered an inappropriately timed giggle. I relaxed immediately and allowed Wes to lead me to a group of the now-empty chairs.
“I know I didn’t use any of the speech.”
He grimaced. “I poured blood, sweat, and tears into those edits. But okay.” He shrugged, but the amusement on his lips told me he wasn’t actually annoyed.
I smothered another giggle. “I know, and as your friend, I thank you for that. I think I needed to get those words out and get them right, but they weren’t right fornow, you know?”
He nodded. “I get it.” He glanced back out to the river. “Maybe they were a little stiff. I like what you said better.”
“What I said was a lot shorter.”
“That’s the part I liked best.” He dodged as though I might aim a loose fist at him, but I laughed instead.
“I bet. You hear enough of my voice at work.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” He rolled his eyes. “But I’m glad you spoke from the heart, anyway. I think that’s the most important thing you could have done today.”
I remained quiet. There were about a thousand other things I wished I could have done today, and none of them involved attending my dad’s funeral.
As if sensing my change in mood, he spoke again. “What would you like to do now? I think some of the guests are going back to your parents’ home for food, drinks, and memories. Does that sound like a plan?”
My face stretched into a brief grimace. “I guess I can go to make sure Mom doesn’t need anything. I don’t know if she’s up for a long session chatting it up with well-meaning friends and family.” I glanced at where she was already holding court. “I mean, she seems fine, but there’s a chance she could be just holding it together before everything falls apart, right?”
Wes nodded. “I guess that could be true. So we’re going to Casa Everly?”
“Yeah, but…oh. Then I need to go somewhere else.”
He leaned closer. “Sounds very mysterious.” Then he drew back, his eyes wide. “Wait, did you organize a hot date? For tonight? That’s not a choice I expected from you.”
“If the next words out of your mouth are even remotely similar toyou go, girl, expect me to shut that mouth for you,” I said. “Of course, I haven’t got a date, Wes. Have some respect.”
He sobered immediately. “Sorry.”
But I smiled. “Although I think my dad would be quite glad I was finally in that particular game. There was probably never a man who wanted grandchildren more.”
He chuckled. “Maybe.” He paused. “But if not a date, what’s so important?”
I lowered my voice instinctively, like I was sharing a secret. “I met Charmaine during Mom’s speech.”
“And? You make this evening sound like some kind of secret mission. How’s it connected to who you met today — the fake daughter?”
“I don’t know.” I revealed the crumpled business card still in my hand. “She wants to meet here later. She thinks there’s something wrong at Gold Moon.”
“Something wrong like…?” He looked at me.