But I don’t want to worry her or be the cause of her frown lines. Maybe I can try and fix some of the damage I’ve done to her.
“I’m sorry about earlier. Ren explained that you’re not really involved in the life…stuff. I was just trying to get to your brother. I hope I haven’t upset you at all.”
She frowns, clearly more confused and concerned. Then I realise how that came across.
“Okay, that sounds bad. But… Well… You know…” I give up, there’s no nice way of saying I was just trying to piss off your brother. “It’s a lot to process at the moment.”
“So, it wasn’t true what you said?” She has a hopefulness in her voice that shows she obviously thinks the world of her brother.
“Um, no. It is.” There’s no point lying.
Personally, they aren’t doing her any favours shielding her from everything. Her shoulders slump and I feel like the bitch that stole her candy.
“If it makes it better. Your brother really is doing what he thinks is best. And from what I can tell, it’s because he has good inside him, and wants to protect me from a bad guy that wants to hurt me. It’s a situation that has gotten screwed up and he thinks he has to fix it.”
“My brother is good at fixing things.” She nods to me. “And If he wants to help you, then you must have good inside of you too.”
I smile at her kind words and have to swallow the lump that forms in my throat.
“My brother doesn’t let very many people in,” she says.
“Because of what happened with your mother? He told me what happened. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Her eyes widen and her jaw drops open, and for a few moments I think I’ve overstepped.
“He talked to you about Mama?” The rising pitch in her voice stills me for a second.
She looks at me like it’s the most unbelievable thing in the world. He opened up so freely, I wasn’t aware it was uncommon. Hard yes. But nothing like Amari makes it seem. It makes my tummy get that warm feeling again. I don’t know what to say, so I just nod.
“Thank you,” she says with a gentle, beautiful smile. “And, I’m sorry too. That a man wants to hurt you.”
We share a moment of understanding, another moment where I feel so much like I belong. The kindness in this family doesn’t make it easy to want to run.
I need to lighten the mood, to keep a barrier between us, because I’m starting to like everyone too much and it isn’t safe for them.
“Anyway, that’s all-sad talk.” I lean in closer. “Can I ask you why Dante is so hard on you? I thought Ren would have stopped me pouring your drink. Is it because you got married as a kid and he’s still sleeping with his green bow tie at night?”
This lifts her mood. In fact, she laughs so hard she snorts, and I laugh, too.
“Oh my God, that’s hilarious.” She shakes her head, wiping a fallen tear off her cheek. “But no, Dante is definitely not dreaming about me at night. We all grew up together, so he has a major big brother complex. Funny enough, Ren has never really tried to stop me from doing things. I guess Dante does it enough that Ren probably doesn’t feel like he needs to.”
“So, how about you? Is there a guy?”
She sighs, then turns to the mirror, and starts primping her hair. “No. It’s hard knowing who to trust, you know?”
Oh, how I know that.
“Most people just want to get close to Ren.”
“That sucks.”
“And Ren issoagainst me marrying anyone from the life.” She snorts. “He wants me to marry an accountant or a teacher.”
“I bet he does.” A smile blooms on my face, imagining Ren doing everything he can to protect his sister. “But you’re lucky, you can. Maybe not an accountant or a teacher. But maybe a doctor? A lawyer? Body builder? Oh, a Tradie? They’re good with their hands.” I wink, and I really hope she knows there options out there.
Amari blushes, her cheeks turning a deep rosy shade of red. Then she laughs, a high-pitched giggle, and runs her fingers through her hair as she shakes her head. “Maybe?”
“Yes!” I tap her shoulder, wanting to boost her confidence. “No maybe. The point is, safe doesn’t always mean dull or boring. There is so much fun in this world, and you are a fucking catch. You should be living it up.”