He shakes his head with a smirk on his lips, stopping when he’s standing in front of me. This time he's close, real close. This time my senses don’t stand a chance.
“Oh, I remember.” He lifts his hand and brushes my hair behind my ear, every touch slow and deliberate. “I also happen to be very stubborn, as well.”
I swallow. And feel proud about that. But get side-tracked watching his eye drop to his fingers that are trailing down my hair.
“I like this colour on you. Suits you.”
Oh shit, this is bad. All I have to do is step away out of danger, and away from him, but my legs have forgotten how to walk.
“This isn’t going to work,” I say, barely audible.
It may not be loud, but at least it came out. I’m just proud of myself for being able to speak.
“What isn’t?”
“Whatever it is you’re doing.” I swallow. “Being nice.”
“No?” His fingers leave my hair and trace down the side of my jaw, all the way down for his thumb to stroke my cheek.
Then he opens his palm to cup my face, looking at me with heated eyes.
I lean into it, every part of me wanting to. His other arm snakes around my waist, pulling me into him until I’m up against his chest. My body is on fire and my legs feel like jelly. And his eyes are on my lips again. And all I want is them on me. I would take it all, anything. In this moment.
“Maybe in another life.”
Ren’s eyes flick back up to me, so quickly it takes me a minute to realise I said that out loud. But it’s true and I’m lucky my subconscious is taking control of my hormones.
“I can’t take another chance.” But if I could…
His grip tightens slightly, then moves away, leaving me and taking away the pleasure. But I will remember how it felt forever.
He clenches his fist and the softness inside him disappears. The anger in his jaw builds until he grinds his teeth.
He has forgotten how I got here.
But I have not, and I need to remind him, before this gets out of control.
“You say you’re a good listener. But you’re not listening.”
“I am listening. I just think you're wrong,” He turns, with stiff shoulders and walks towards the door.
15
Ren
“Iamlistening.Ijust happen to think you’re wrong.” I’m barely hanging on, so I turn and walk away.
I don’t know what’s happening to me. First, talking about my mother, something I never do. Then add her heartbreak on top. The fury was sated when she let me touch her, to comfort her, to be there. But it all stopped when she compared what I’m offering her, to him, a monster. A man that should never have had the privilege to breathe the same air as her.
You know what? No. I’m not going to walk away from her, especially when she’s pushing me to, and especially when I’m about to explode if I don’t get this out. I turn around and face her.
“I am not Sergei. Don’t you dare compare me to him again.” It had to be said, or my fury would destroy this fucking room.
“I didn’t.” She takes a few steps back, and I see a flash of fear and confusion in her eyes.
Scaring her is not what I want, so I try and tamper my frustration and get to the reason why her words cut me so deep.
“You can’t take another chance? Why? In case I turn out to be a monster as well?” I shake my head, disappointed she thinks so little of me.