“Well, ya know we don’t always get what we want. I’m not getting a blow job and you’re not getting to climb out of a window and get picked up by your mental ex while you try to hitch hike your way interstate.”
We’re locked in a stare down; he’s not budging and I am fuming.
“You were there in that meet. I know you heard me agree to marry you. So you must’ve heard Sergei tell me not to get comfortable.”
“He knows the score,” he says with absolute confidence in his voice. “As long as you are under my protection, he can’t fuck with you. But you have to be in my care to get that protection. Capiche?”
I bite back my anger, but don’t let him off the hook. “No, please. Mansplain a bit more for me. All those words are too much for my little pee brain to comprehend.”
I roll my eyes, and he chuckles.
“You’re actually quite funny yourself,” he says, leaning forward. “But I’m just stating facts.”
“How about this fact for you. He does not care. Not one bit. You think, by him taking his money and walking away, he was agreeing to let me marry you?” I laugh because that is truly funny.
He doesn’t. In fact, he looks like his head might explode at any second. I can tell he’s not used to anyone talking to him like this. Of course not, he’s the boss, who would be crazy enough to. Except me, but to get what I want, it’s not smart to piss him off. That’s option two. I need to exhaust the first one, and that’s trying to reason with him with common sense.
“Ren, you have to see that this situation will end badly. The sooner you let me leave, the sooner you can go on with your life and forget about this whole marriage scenario. And the sooner you can forget about dealing with a crazy person and her deranged ex. It makes far more sense for you and your family to let me go.”
He just stares at me, his face is a stone wall. There’s no sign whether this is working or not. But I have to try, I have to make him see.
“I wouldn’t even ask for help. So, it wouldn’t even look like you went back on your word. Just look the other way a bit is all I’m asking.”
“That simple, huh?” His voice is softer, but still not giving anything away.
“Easy peasy.”
He shakes his head, his frustration showing as the timer goes off. He leaves my question unanswered as he serves up lasagna on our plates. Hopefully, that means he’s still thinking about my plan. As we eat, the silence weighs down on both of us, but there is a glimmer of hope.
“Listen.” He turns to look at me straight in the eye. “I fucked up bringing you back. I know that. I already apologised. And now I’m making it right. How about you stop trying so hard to hate every part of this life and learn to embrace your future. Who knows, you might actually like it.”
I stare at him like he just sprouted another head. Embrace this life? Is he serious? He must have wax in his ears because he isn’t listening to a word I say. I could tell him about Sergei’s message today at the lingerie shop, but by the way this conversation is going, all that will do is lead to having an army around me with no hope of escaping. I may as well play along with his ridiculous suggestion.
“Oh, okay then, and what’s life as Ren’s wife like? What is she allowed and not allowed to do?”
“I’ve never really given it much thought, but I guess she’d do whatever she wanted. I’m not trying to dominate you Lilliana, I’m—“
“Lilly,” I correct him.
No one calls me by my full name but my father, and I hate him therefore I hate it too.
“Lilly,” he repeats my name with softness, and a smile that’s all kinds of cute. “I’m trying to keep you safe. I don’t know why you can’t recognise the difference.”
“Um, hello, because you kidnapped me.” But pointing out the obvious seems fruitless, I may as well get the lay of the land. “So how am I meant to know what’s okay or not. Am I allowed to take a car and leave?’
He bursts out laughing almost choking on his pasta.
Okay, even I knew the answer to that. “Fine. Am I allowed to go to a club? Talk to friends? Have friends? What about work? Can I work?”
“Yes, to all the above. If you want to go somewhere, tell one of the boys they will take you. You wanna work? Well, that would shock the hell out of me, but yeah. We have plenty of businesses, take your pick.”
Maybe in his mind that sounds like freedom. But in mine, he’s still controlling my life. I don’t want to drive around with protection. I don’t want him knowing everything there is about my life.
“Right. So am I going to know every little thing you get up to. Where you go? Who you talk to? Your business?”
“No.” He puts his fork down and looks at me with firm eyes. “There’s no need for you to know that. That’s business, that will never involve you.”
I roll my eyes, like I care about his stupid business. “And my business, where I go. Who I see. Anything that I think is private to me, is none of yours. But it looks like Ren’s wife doesn’t get that privilege.”