“Why didn’t you ever talk to me?”
“The first night I found out who you were. You already know I never wanted to marry, talking to you would only have started talks with our families.”
If only I had. If only I hadn’t walked away. But I never wanted a relationship, never wanted to marry, and frankly she scared the shit out of me.
“So, you’re saying that you found me by chance? A Fluke?”
“Fate,” I say.
She takes a long, deep breath. “Not because I did anything wrong?”
I turn to her and frown, now it’s my turn to be confused.
“Like left a trail? I kept trying to think what I did wrong. How you found me?”
“No, I didn’t even know you were on the run. But then things turned with our families, and I needed a way to collect from your dad.”
“Wow.” Her voice is breathless, her eyes still large.
She downs her drink. I nod and when her eyes find mine again, I lay it all out.
“So, when I say I’m all in. When I say you’re it for me. When I say I don’t want to live without you… I mean it.”
Her eyes water, listening to my words, my declaration, my soul. A tear slips out, and I catch it with my thumb, and she leans into my touch, closing her eyes.
“What about your family? What if something happens and it’s all my fault? What if something happens to you because I ruined everything? I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
I move her hair behind her ear so I can see her beautiful face. “It’s already done. Things are in motion and after tonight there is no turning back. You don’t need to worry about me.”
She winces, and in an instant, she pulls away, shaking her head.
“I get that you want to protect me, but it’s like you’re asking me not to breathe. I can’t put my head in the sand like tonight and let myself be unprepared. Ren, it means a lot that you want to shield me from all this… it really does. But that’s done and gone, a long time ago, and I can’t be that girl, or wife, for you. I’m not your sister, who walks around with blinders on.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
The tension is back in my neck, the stiffness in my shoulder. “I’ve been used to protecting my sister, trying to stop history repeating itself, making her life as clean as possible. Yeah, I want to protect you, keep you away from all this shit. But you’re right, that’s not you.”
I take her hand in mine and look her in the eye.
“You’re the girl who wakes up in a hotel room and tries to barter with her kidnapper and bites his ass. You’re the girl who jumps out of windows. You’re the girl who goes to dingy junkie parks in the middle of the night to help a homeless friend.”
She lets out a light chuckle and bites her bottom lip.
“You’re my girl, and my equal in all ways. And I let you down tonight. I promised to take care of you and the first night, I walk you straight to him.”
“Don’t.” She scoots closer, and her warmth comforts me. “You didn’t know.”
“But you did.”
Her eyes lower because it’s the truth. “He was always going to find a way to me.”
“I wasn’t listening before.” I tilt her chin up with my finger to get her eyes again. “But I am now.”
“Ok.” She nods softly. “Because we have until Friday for whatever he has planned. And Ren, he has something planned. He wouldn’t have made a move if he wasn’t sure.”
How the fuck am I going to contain my anger when I hear shit like this from her? But if I don’t, Dante is right. I will lose her. Either by her running, or by something more unimaginable.