Chapter twenty-four
Harley
“Youneedtogoback at some point? There are only so many times I can tell Reed you’re asleep.”
I look at Maria as I cradle the mug of hot chocolate in front of me. Griffin took one look at my face when he came in and made it for me without saying a word and then headed into his office to give Maria and I some space. Although, I noticed he whispered a soft hello to Rosie and stroked the golden strands where her feathers will grow before he left. He’s definitely a keeper. A complicated, intense man. A lot like his best friend, Reed. Griffin is a man with a huge heart when it comes to Maria. The biggest heart for those he cares about.
Just like Reed.
“Whatever it is, I’m sure you two can work it out,” she offers.
I swallow the sweet liquid while it’s still too hot and let the burn on my tongue be the excuse I will give for the tears in my eyes, should Maria ask.
“It’s… complicated,” I whisper, my chest tightening like I’m being crushed like you see in horror movies. Two spiked walls closing in, pressing closer and closer together until they meet.
With me impaled at their center.
I think that would be less painful than this.
“Is it about him being Mayor and moving to Gracie Mansion? It’s not that far. And you’ll have that view over the water there.”
I try my best to lift my lips into something resembling a grateful smile at Maria’s attempt to help. She’s right. Gracie Mansion, the official residence of the New York Mayor, is only a half hour walk.
“Yeah.”
Maria places her hand over mine around my mug. “You’ll be on the East side and have East River and Carl Schurz Park. Granted, it’s not the size of Central Park. But it’s policed around the clock. You could take up midnight jogging if you wanted and still feel safe.” She raises her brows and we both giggle as I shake my head.
“I can definitely say that will not be happening.”
“That’s if you want to even move there. Don’t feel like you must. Living here with Reed is different. You had an arrangement. I know things have changed, but if you don’t want to move in with him permanently, then that’s your decision to make. I’m sure he’ll understand.”
The air leaves my lungs and my shoulders sag. Maria’s right. He would let me move back into my apartment if that’s what I say I want. I know he will try and talk me out of it and possibly hit the roof first. Just the idea of the confusion in his eyes if I were to say that to him has my chest constricting in pain as though a billion miniature daggers are piercing it. But he would let me if he believed I would be happier. I know he would.
“You’re mine, Harley. I will protect you with my life.”
He said that, and a whole lot more. Reed will do anything to protect me. He’s shown it, most recently when he dealt with the man who tried to expose my Julia pseudonym from honey trapping. Thank God nothing came from it. I don’t care about me, but the thought it could have affected Reed’s campaign and cost him the election, it doesn’t bear thinking about. He asked me to pretend to be his girlfriend to improve his public image, not destroy it. My reasons behind working for the agency won’t matter. There will always be people ready to judge me on my past actions. Just like Reed said.
“People will always use your past against you.”
And now someone is trying to do just that to him.
And they’re putting his fate in my hands.
I look into Maria’s kind eyes and give her a weak smile. “You’re right. Thank you. I’ll speak to him. I think I’m just a little overwhelmed with all that’s gone on with the election, and then Rosie stealing our sleep.” My heart is heavy in my chest as the lie rolls easily off my tongue. I’ve never lied to Maria. But I can’t tell her the truth.
I wish I could.
Maria’s eyes dart over to the small box we’ve set up as Rosie’s temporary home. She’s currently snuggled up in a couple of bamboo face cloths underneath a heat lamp. I’ve welcomed the distraction her regular feeds have brought.
Maria and Griffin had a staff member from the ornithology department at Bronx Zoo on standby to come and help at the first sign of any shell cracking. But I insisted they shouldn’t bother and managed to convince Griffin I was the better choice, rather than having a stranger in their apartment. He’s always found it hard to trust people, and maybe it was wrong of me to exploit that to my advantage. But it seems I’m about to start making a lot of decisions I’m not proud of. Whether I want to or not.
“She certainly is. This must be what it’s like as a new parent. I’m surprised Griffin is taking to the lack of sleep so well.” Maria rests her arms on the kitchen counter and sighs happily.
“He’ll be an amazing daddy when the day comes. You two are made for each other.”
“Thanks, Harley. We got here eventually. But it wasn’t easy. It isn’t always simple where the heart is concerned.” She meets my eyes and the understanding and compassion in them almost breaks the dam holding my tears back. I swallow down the lump in my throat and nod at her. They didn’t have a simple start. So much was working against them in the beginning. Unseen forces. But they still found their way back to one another.
I wish I could say the same can happen for Reed and me.