I drop my head with a smile. “He’s… he’s pretty great.”
“I knew it. I told you, Maria, I’m going to need two wedding outfits at this rate. One for you and Griffin, and one for Harley and Reed.”
I shake my head and hold my hands up. “Whoa, Suze. That is totally jumping the gun. I’ve no idea what’s going to happen after the election, let alone years down the line.”
Reed hasn’t mentioned anything post-election. I guess he’s too busy to even consider it. But I know if he wins that he’ll be given Gracie Mansion, the mayor’s official residence to live in for the length of his term. And I imagine he might have his own personal security. Or will he? I have no idea how these things work.
“What are you going to do when he stops paying you?” Suze crunches down a chip, the sound disguising the rumble of dread I swear I just heard roll in the pit of my stomach.
I haven’t thought about what happens when this all ends. I’m still getting four thousand dollars per month at the moment. Money which I need. But after the election, our fake dating arrangement, the money—which feels weird accepting now with how things are between us—it all stops.
“Um.” I chew on my bottom lip and Maria places her hand over mine on the counter.
“You don’t need to worry about that, Harley. I’m sure we can work something out. Griff—”
“No,” I cut in, more forcefully than I intend. “No,” I repeat softly. “Griffin does a lot for me already. All that time off I needed when it happened, and then my last pay rise. He’s a great boss. I would never expect more from him. I’ll… I’ll figure something out.” My shoulders slump as a million options run through my head. None of which are viable. Reed won’t want me to go back to honey-trapping, not that I’d want to. That is if Reed and I are still together. “I haven’t told Reed what I need it for yet. But we’re visiting my family for the weekend, and he’s coming with me. So I guess he’s about to find out.”
“Good. That’s good.”
“Is it?” I look at Suze. “It’s good that he’s about to see how messed up things are?”
“All families are messed up.” This time, it’s Maria I look at, who gives me a comforting nod.
Guilt weighs heavily in my stomach as I look into her eyes. She’s had it worse than me. Her parents, her dad… they were hardly model examples of strong family values. But my parents? They are. Or at least, were before the incident. We were the sweetly sickening family who always got along, always helped out the neighbors, were always laughing and joking. We looked perfect to the outside world. And we were.Before.Now we’re a shell of what we used to be, and I don’t see a way back. Ever.
“Yeah. I suppose they are.” My thoughts flit to Reed and what Riley went through. How his family moved them all to California afterward.
No one passes through life without collecting scars along the way. Some are just harder to hide.
“Are you going to sleep in the guest house when you go home?” Suze chimes in, raising a brow at me with a smirk. “Or are you going to have to keep the noise down in the main house?”
I shake my head with a laugh. She always knows how to lighten the mood. Suze has been sex obsessed ever since her and her ex, Curt, divorced. It’s like she’s had a new lease of life. She’s always going on dates, some funny, a few too many disastrous, and some with the kind of wild, experimental sex stories I didn’t expect to hear first thing on Sunday mornings when she likes to call me and share the previous night’s antics. Thankfully for me, she hasn’t had any really weird ones for a while. The last one was when the guy, Hank, liked his cat to watch. He’d talk to Mr. Sunshine, as the cat was called, during sex. Suze said she gave up on any ideas of a serious dating future together when all Hank did was look at Mr. Sunshine mid-thrust, telling him not to be jealous that he was enjoying another pussy. She did give Hank a second chance, which I couldn’t believe at the time because apparently, he had an unusually curved dick that rubbed in all the right places—Suze’s words, not mine. But the final straw was when he jumped off Suze when she was just about to come and ran over to help Mr. Sunshine hack up a furball on the carpet.
All great reasons, along with the men I met honey trapping, to be single.
Until Reed.
“We’ll probably be in the guest house. They’ve made some changes inside the main house, so we couldn’t stay there now.”
“Well, that will be nice for you and Reed. Like Suze said, it will be more private for you both,” Maria says.
I love how different my friends are. Suze will just come out with what’s on her mind, whereas Maria is all grace and elegance. The two of them together means I always get the best advice. Direct and to the point, no holds barred, as well as considered and diplomatic.
“Actually, can I ask you both your opinions on something?” I reach out and take a chip, scooping a giant lump of guacamole onto it.
They both look at me, waiting. There’s no need for them to answer. We all know that we can discuss anything together.
“It’s something Bea said that’s been bothering me.” I chomp the chip down, barely tasting it. “She said Reed has issues that only a person who’s known him a long time will understand.”
Maria nods in understanding. She and I both worked out about Riley being assaulted in the past. But I know that’s not what Bea was referring to. She was talking about Reed and what he does, or doesn’t do, when it comes to sex.
“She asked if he kisses me and uses my name during sex, and well… he’s always kissed me a lot, like constantly. I just thought she was making shit up, you know? Trying to rile me for whatever reason. But then I thought about it, and I realized he never used to use my name during sex.”
“Used to?” Suze asks.
“Yeah. He’s only said it once, the other night.”
I cast my mind back to cootie night. It seems so long ago now, given the number of times we’ve had sex since, and he hasn’t said it. But that night, he did. I know I didn’t imagine it. He sank inside me and held my gaze, and he said it with such an emotional tinge to his voice that I can still hear it now. “You’re so beautiful, Harley.”I swear I felt so close to him that night. But since then, although he’s been extremely attentive and showered me with kisses and gifted me with intense orgasms while his body is connected deeply with mine, he hasn’t said it again. Not once.