The tension in my stomach is replaced by fluttering the second my name leaves his lips.
“She knew full well who I am. She was talking about the campaign with me.”
“And?”
A muscle in his neck twitches as he sucks in a breath through his nose.
“And we’ve been together a few weeks now. The press has been talking odds on when I’m going to propose.” He reaches forward and jabs the bell again, hissing with a clenched jaw. “She would have known about you. The fact she asked for my number is notfucking nice.”
“Hey.” I lay a hand on his bicep. “So what if she’s the type of woman who doesn’t care if a man is in a relationship? Why are you bothered?”
“It’s not the type of woman she is that bothers me.” He looks at me with darkened eyes.
“Then what?” I frown at him in confusion. He’s right. The press has been going nuts over our ‘relationship’. It’s the first time Reed has been known to have a serious girlfriend since he joined the political circuit. Some news channels are more interested in me and him than they are in his policies should he become mayor.
“It’s the type of man she thinksIam. I would never do that to you.” The way his eyes soften as they hold mine, he looks almost apologetic. Apologetic for something he hasn’t even done, and for something that isn’t even real.
“It’s fine.” I shrug. “Who cares what other people think? We both know in this thing”—I wave a finger between us—“there’s only you and me. And that’s everything we need.”
His brows pull together. “People are so fast to judge. That’s why Stuart suggested we do this in the first place. He thought it’d help people see me as a serious candidate, not purely a womanizer who wants the notoriety and position to bed more women.”
His eyes burn into mine for a few seconds before he looks away, his jaw still clenched tight. I never realized it bothered him what people think. I assumed he was happy with meaningless hook-ups. Some people don’t want full-on relationships, and that’s their choice. But then, I guess he was engaged once. To Bea.
My stomach sinks at his dejected expression. If I wasn’t sure before, then I am now. He must have been hurt badly when things ended with Bea, so he began burying his sorrows in different women, along with his dick. Only now that’s causing him pain, too. People expect him to screw up. To cheat on me. To give them some sordid sex scandal to get all worked up over and throw on the front pages. They expect him to be a cold-hearted player. But it was because of his big heart that loved so openly that he ended up in this situation in the first place.
He thinks he will be judged on his past more than his ability to be a good mayor.
“Prove it to yourself.”
He turns to me.
“Prove it to yourself.” I raise my brows and look at him… really look at him. “You could be a great mayor, right? You really care about people and providing better services for them. Better services, education, stronger communities. That’s all true, right?”
“Yes.” He takes a deep breath as he listens to me.
“Then tell yourself, Reed. Be you and don’t worry what the hell anyone thinks. Show up for yourself. So that you can look back and think, you know what? I did it. I showed up, and I was instrumental in this process. I was on this journey, and I nailed it in the way only I can.”
He’s silent for a beat before he speaks.
“You’re right, thank you.” He smiles, looking into my eyes. “And you’re also unusually philosophical today?”
I rub at the burning in the center of my chest, my cheeks growing hot under his gaze. He’s right; I am feeling more in tune with my emotions today. I had to give myself a pep talk in the shower this morning and remind myself of Reed’s words about looking back. I can’t do that anymore. I need to look forward and own my feelings. Own them and not be afraid of them. I knew today would be a tough day. Too many painful memories. But I need to change that into something positive. Turn that frown upside down, as Mom would say when we were kids.
And a kid’s birthday party and petting zoo are perfect. Kids, animals, and cake. How can anyone not be happy with that combination?
I lift my gaze to meet Reed’s, who’s watching me, concern etched in the small creases around his eyes. Tiny valleys forged by understanding and compassion. I know I make fun of him, and he deserves it most of the time. But I also know, since spending all this extra time with him, that he’s kind, considerate, and passionate. He’s so many more things than I ever saw before and than I ever gave him credit for.
“Besides, you know what I’d do if you cheated?” I say, lightening the mood.
All this heavy thinking can wait. Today is not the day.
“Do I?” He arches a brow.
I bite my lip as amusement glitters in his eyes. I love it when he looks at me like this. It means that for a small moment, I have brought a little sprinkling of joy and happiness into the world.
And it’s been felt by Reed Walker.
I stand on tiptoes and bring my lips to his ear, letting them ghost over his skin as I try not to get high on the incredible forest air scent that is him.