He is breathtaking.
“Maybe that is who I am. And yes, I have spent years working toward it. But you’re wrong. If you think that video means more to me than you do… if you think this city has my heart…” His eyes hold mine. “Then you’re wrong. It doesn’t.”
“But—”
“It’s yours. You have my heart.”
“W-what?”
My mouth drops open. I stare at his jaw, at the thick waves of his hair, at the golden flecks in his eyes. And I stare at his lips and perfect white teeth as he speaks words I can’t even begin to comprehend.
“You’ve had my heart a long time.” His eyes soften. “You’re theonlyone who has ever had it.”
“Oh, God.” I hold my hand over my mouth, my vision blurring as I look at him. I’ve ruined everything. We could have been happy together. Then I lied. I left him alone, and I wrecked it all.
“I…” I shake my head, searching his eyes. “I didn’t want you to get hurt. You always said you’d hate to have your past used against you. And I got it. I understood.”
He nods slowly, carefully, watching me like I’m a frightened animal that might bolt at any moment. “You were backed into a corner. You didn’t know what to do. I’m not mad. Not at you.”
“You have every right to be.” I pause and force myself to take a breath. “I did the wrong thing. I should have come to you first.”
“Why didn’t you?” he asks. But there’s no accusatory tone. He sounds concerned.
I’m the one who let him down, and he’s standing here looking out for me.
Worrying aboutme.
“Because I didn’t want you to relive it. To have it used against you. I wanted to make it go away. Fix it all, and then tell you afterward that there was nothing to worry about. Like you did for me when that man started saying he knew me as Julia.” I shake my arms by my sides as pins and needles run through them.
“Some things aren’t meant to be fixed, Harls.”
His eyes drink in my face, stalling on the point where my tears are dripping from my chin. I wipe them away roughly.
“We both have pasts we can’t change or fix. And we shouldn’t try. It will only keep us trapped there.”
“That’s not fair. We can’t just do nothing, Reed. We can’t let these things happen to us. These people do these…” I throw my hands up in the air. “These despicable things to other people and get away with it. It’s not right.”
I suck in deep breaths, my shoulders trembling with the effort.
“It shouldn’t happen,” I whisper, staring off up the sidewalk. People are walking past us, but apart from the odd glance, no one is listening. They’re all too busy living their lives to notice mine crumbling around me.
“No. It shouldn’t, but it’s life. And sometimes life is fucking unfair.”
I turn back into Reed’s gaze, and it pins me to the spot, making my heart skip a beat.
“I understand.” He searches my eyes again, and I screw mine shut so he can’t see me falling apart.
I rub my hands down my face, the trembling from my shoulders and the pins and needles in my hands spreading through my body like a virus. Forest air calls to me, and I know he’s moving closer. I can sense him.
“After Brett, and my dad… seeing what it’s done to Rose. I swore I would do whatever it takes to try and stop someone I love from being hurt again. Because it’s the worst thing in the world.”
“Harls?”
“I can’t see someone I love be hurt. It’s why I didn’t tell you.”
“Harls?”
“I thought I could do something. I thought that I would find a way. That a miracle would happen and—”