“Don’t try and make him sound human,” I say to Maria as I slip into the bedroom to grab my slippers.
“I’m pretty sure he is, in fact, human.” Maria chuckles as I walk back into the main living and kitchen area and scowl at her.
“If he’s not, he must be one of those frisky aliens with the incredible twin dicks people read about,” Suze chimes in, looking at Maria. “If the sounds you used to hear through the wall are anything to go by.”
I grumble to myself as I unzip my case and squish my slippers inside. Despite Reed’s sexual escapades providing a source of amusement to our girls’ get togethers in the past, I’m not in the mood to hear about them again right now.
Not when I’m about to live with him for the foreseeable future.
“Twin dick or not, he’s still…” I search for the right words.
“Hot?” Suze offers.
“Great at his job?” Maria counters.
“A walking billboard for why women are choosing not to get married and get a pet instead,” I huff as I sit on my case to force it shut.
I mean, he’s ridiculous. Maybe he is good at his job, like Maria says. But it doesn’t alter the fact that he’s as shallow as a puddle. As far as I know, he’s never spent longer than a weekend with the same woman, let alone had a serious girlfriend.
“Hey, I’m not going to argue with you about the marriage thing.” Suze sighs, then looks at Maria. “You’re happy with that delectable man of yours, Maria. Cover your ears and don’t listen to me. Griffin’s, well… Griffin. And quite frankly, he’s giving me hope that there are still decent men out there.”
I walk over to Suze and wrap my arm around her. Maria comes to join us as I hold out my other arm.
“Therearedecent men out there. Ones who don’t cheat. And don’t have a bedpost so notched it resembles a matchstick,” I add as Maria opens her mouth, no doubt to defend Reed. “Ones like Griffin and my older brother, Brett. They show up the rest of the male population just by existing.”
I mean every word. Even though honey trapping work shows me the ugly side of people, deep down I still cling to dreams of that little girl who grew up watching Disney, believing in true love. I think if it weren’t for my brother, Brett, and how selfless he is, then I wouldn’t believe it. He would give anything for me and my sister, Rose. Literally anything. Even his own life. He’s always been that way as long as I can remember. Maybe it goes with the territory of being the oldest.
I look around my tiny apartment and smile. We’ve finished almost all the packing.
“Talking of men, I have the perfect ones for us now that we’re nearly done.” I walk over to the freezer and pull out three tubs, grinning. “Here’s to Ben and Jerry.”
“What are you doing?” Reed quirks his brow at me, his head tilted to one side as I look back over my shoulder at him across the hallway.
“What’s it look like I’m doing? I’m pruning Bruce.”
I turn my attention back to my Bonsai tree, which I’ve given pride of place on the entryway table. Reed was using it to just throw his wallet and key card down on, but a spot like this, the first thing you see as you walk into the penthouse, deserves something special.
It deserves Bruce.
“Bruce? You named it?” Reed walks toward me, bringing the magic potion of his cologne with him.
“Please do not bring negative energy into Bruce’s space,” I reply as I gently snip a browning leaf off with a pair of nail scissors, leaning in close to get a good cut.
“You know it’s a tree, right?” Reed leans down next to me, his eyes on Bruce as I carefully snip another leaf.
“Haven’t you seen those experiments where people bully one plant and are kind to another? The one that they’re kind to thrives, but the bullied one goes all sad and brown and withers.” I chew my bottom lip as I recall how upset it made me to see that bullied plant on the internet clip.
“I must have missed that segment on CNN.” Amusement laces his voice. “Anyway, how exactly do you bully a plant?”
“You know, say mean things to it, and be unkind.” I pick up my spray bottle and give Bruce a good mist.
Reed straightens up but stays standing close enough that I can hear the gentle inhale of each breath he takes.
“You’re looking mighty fine, Bruce. Keep on producing wood like that and all the women will be shaking their leaves at you.”
I turn just in time to see the smirk on Reed’s stupidly handsome face as he moves away, taking the heat from his body with him.
“Let me know if you need to borrow my scissors anytime,” I call after him. “They’re really good withtinybranches.”