I keep my eyes locked on hers even when she motions to her lower half. Letting my mind wander back to how she felt wrapped around me with nothing between us isn’t going to lead to solving this problem.
“Those fucking condoms weren’t for me, Slick.”
“Back to Slick? Make up your fucking mind!” She throws her hands up in the air, and with how loud she yelled, I can’t help but glance over at the door. I’m not afraid of someone coming in to see if she’s okay. It’s what I would expect from anyone around here, but the woman is now sitting up on the bed, her gorgeous tits completely exposed.
“Can you throw a shirt on or something?” I grumble as I cross the room and flip the lock on the doorknob.
“My tits bother you now?”
I can’t help but grin, my eyes darting to her chest.
“I have absolutely no issue with your tits. If anything, they may possibly be the best set I’ve ever had the privilege of laying eyes on.”
She nods, her mouth forming a flat line. “Comparing me to other women you’ve been with? Nice, Aro. Couldn’t even wait an hour after coming inside of me?”
I bite my lower lip as I walk back toward the bed, but I don’t take a seat on the side opposite of her.
“You’re fucking crazy,” she says when I lower the zipper on my jeans.
“Me?” I ask, letting my fly hang open and pointing to my chest. “Are you not listening to yourself? I’m standing here telling you I want to be with you and you’re throwing a hissy fit like a soccer mom that got the wrong cup of coffee.”
She glares at me, her eyes narrowing, her nostrils flaring.
“Seems we’re seeing the situation from different points of view. I haven’t heard a single argument in favor of anything I’d be interested in.”
“No?” I hold up my hand and start counting fingers. “I regret ending things. I shouldn’t have shut it down. I seriously think I fucking love you.”
I’d laugh at the look on her face at the last one, but my heart is threatening to give out with my confession.
I know I’ve gotten it all wrong when a tear streaks down her face.
“Want to know what has gone through my head the last couple of months?” I wait for her to answer, but she doesn’t open her mouth. “I’ll tell you, but I’m going to need to sit down.”
I shove my jeans down my legs, grateful I didn’t put my boots back on. It’s a complete pain in the ass trying to get the damn thing off my prosthetic.
“You have to be naked for this?”
“I’ll keep my boxers on. Jeans are as uncomfortable as hell. I need you to swear you’ll never tell anyone what I tell you. Doctor patient confidentiality and all that.”
“I’m not your doctor,” she grumbles.
“Then as my lover? You’ll keep my secrets?”
She swallows as she locks eyes with me. “You can tell me anything. I’d never tell a soul.”
I lean back against the headboard, feeling a little more confident when she doesn’t pull away when my side brushes her knee.
I look up at the ceiling, my arms folded behind my head, because I’m within reaching distance of nearly every inch of her body, and it’s almost impossible not to reach for her.
“Can you not watch me?”
She rolls her eyes, resituating her body so her back is facing me.
“That’s not going to work,” I tell her. “Come here.”
I open my arms for her, hurting some when she doesn’t immediately move to lay her head on my chest.
“Please?”
Her throat works on a swallow as she inches closer.
The second she’s on me, I start talking. I tell her about praying I didn’t die in the field to waking up in the hospital wondering how bad it would be if I actually died.
I explain that I never thought I’d be allowed back at Cerberus.
I confess that I never would’ve touched her if I thought I had a real chance at staying on the team.
“I know you know it would be messy,” I tell her, hating the warm tear rolling over my side from her eyes. “I thought putting an end to it would work, that we’d both be able to come back here and things would be like they were, but it wasn’t only my body that changed in the last couple of months. I don’t want messy, but here we are. I don’t think it has to be that way though. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s a one-sided thing. At one point, I convinced myself I coerced you into sleeping with me, or you only did it because you felt sorry for me. I said horrible things to you after that first time, and I never apologized for it.”
“I feel like you’ve only ended up in bed with me because you don’t think you can get anyone else,” she says, her words almost too low to hear.