Incapable of taking yet another rejection, I slide off his lap and dart from the room.
Chapter 12
Aro
“Dude, you have the worst fucking timing,” I complain when the call connects.
Ugly chuckles on the other end of the line. “You sound like a whiny bitch,” he says. “I'm thinking all of your good humor was stored in the bottom half of your right leg.”
My jaw hangs open, disbelief washing over me. “You can't say shit like that. I'm a fucking amputee, you dickhead.”
He chuckles again, and it brings a smile to my face.
“How's Albuquerque?” he asks.
“It’s not like I'm checking out the nightlife over here, asshole.”
He hums in understanding. I press the palm of my hand to my dick, willing it to go down. But it knows that she's still in the house, so the chances of that actually happening are slim. Jesus, fuck. Why do I keep putting myself in these situations?
It was instinct to reach for her when I was finding it difficult to breathe. I was embarrassed yesterday when I lifted her off my lap, feeling a little erratic and crazy, coming down from a panic attack and knowing that she was the one who helped me.
I needed to do it on my own. That's why I sat back down out here this morning and tried again. I needed her the second time too, but it doesn't carry as much guilt today as it did yesterday. The kissing was probably going too far, and I feel guilty about that.
Now that I'm on the phone with my friend, he's a reminder of what I could lose, and that’s Cerberus. It might be a hateful thing to realize, but there's no one, including Slick, that's worth giving up my position with the team.
“Has Kincaid mentioned me?” I ask.
“He hasn't said much. We've gotten updates on how you're doing,” Ugly responds.
“He hasn't said anything about my return to work?” Silence fills the line, a long pause and three hours on the road separating us all.
“Missions are on hold right now. He's not talking to anybody about work.”
I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about the news. I know there are plenty of jobs to take. We can hardly stay on top of them. The way Kincaid operates, he insists on breaks in between missions. He says we need the time to recharge and get our head back into the game. He does everything in his power to keep us from burning out and I'm grateful for that, but I'm also a little agitated, more than a little annoyed, that he's punishing everybody else for the mistakes that I made in Costa Rica.
I know he's not doing it in any way to honor me. He's not gonna hold the team back or keep them from doing jobs until I'm able to return again.
“I'm coming to visit you today,” Ugly says.
“I'd rather you didn't,” I grumble.
He gives me another laugh as if it's ridiculous to think he's even offering me a choice. “The weather is warming up,” he continues, as if I didn't tell him not to come. “It'll make for a nice bike ride.”
“Ugly, I don't think—”
Silence fills the line. The asshole hung up before I could even tell him he needed to stay in Farmington. I call him back immediately, but he sends me right to voicemail. I text, telling him I'm in no mood for company, but he doesn't respond.
I can't tell him that I want to be alone with Slick. That I need an opportunity to wrap my head around what the fuck is going on between the two of us. It didn't feel like a pity kiss, the way she made me feel on the plane. I groan, squeezing my eyes tight and throw my head against the back cushion on the couch.
Remembering the sounds she made, how sweet her skin tastes on my tongue… “Jesus, fuck,” I grumble. This erection is never going to go away with thoughts like that racing through my head. I open my eyes the second I begin to notice my breathing. The last thing I need is another fucking panic attack. I roll my head on the back of the sofa and look toward her bedroom, contemplating that may be another panic attack and her helping me may be exactly what I need.
That feels manipulative and dirty. She was so quick to pop up and run away. I know she's regretting what happened, and as much as I let that same thought slink inside of me with Ugly’s reminder that Cerberus even exists, I don't seem to be struggling with it much right now.
I need Cerberus to survive, but in this moment, if you ask my cock, he’d say that he needs Slick more than anything else on this earth. Slick sliding down my cock would solve all my problems. That thought is ridiculous and I shake my head.