It takes a lot to shake me, and even when I’m upset, most people wouldn’t even know it.
There was just something about the last job that kept me from keeping my cool.
I know how dangerous it is, and knew even better when I had to be carried away that day, becoming literally less of the man that entered that compound.
I was ordered to rest, recover, and recuperate, all under the watchful eyes of the team’s psychologist.
She was there to get in my head, to watch for signs that I may be a danger to myself.
She became my outlet, the calm to the storm trying to take over in my head.
There would be no problem with what we were doing because the possibility of returning to work with the Cerberus MC was never going to happen, and if there was an off-chance I would, walking away would be easy, right?
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Chapter 1
Slick
I joined the Marine Corps for two reasons. I wanted to see the world, and I wanted a government-paid education, something I'd never be able to afford on my own.
I heard of Cerberus not long after enlisting, and I made it a life goal to get the invite to join one of their teams.
I was over the moon ecstatic the day I received the phone call from Cerberus MC president, Kincaid. I barely let him get the invite out before squealing and accepting. Years of professionalism went out the window the day I got that call from New Mexico.
I didn't even have to think about it. It was a goal I made years prior.
I don’t regret joining the MC. Most missions are hard.
The mission we're facing today is one of the hardest situations we could ever put ourselves in.
Every job is dangerous. Each time we go out, we know there's a chance that we may not come home, despite doing everything in our power to make each job as safe as possible.
The subject matter of what we're doing today is much harder to swallow.
Normally, we’re rescuing trafficked women, which is traumatizing, both for us as responders as well as the women involved. Today, we're shutting down a snuff ring.
Since women are a commodity most traffickers want to use over and over and over to line their pockets with money, they only tend to murder those women after they consider them used up or when they become too much trouble to handle.
This ring today only has one goal—get a lofty sum to let their clients rape and kill the women.
“This is going to be a hard one, guys,” Kincaid says through the mic.
He, Shadow, Itchy, Snatch, Dominic, and Kid are back in New Mexico, their semi-retirement keeping them out of the field on most occasions.
As the Cerberus psychologist, I'm supposed to remain calm in all situations. I'm tasked with making sure every member of each team is in the right headspace to make each mission as safe as humanly possible.
All the guys, as well as Rivet, are agitated and antsy. Even more so than usual. Spade looks angry enough to spit nails. Aro is fidgety, his eyes an empty chasm of hostility.
I look over at Apollo, noticing he's one of the calmer guys in the room. Which is surprising, considering his own woman came from a cult.
Thumper looks ready to rip heads from bodies with his bare hands. As a former FBI agent who worked numerous trafficking rings, he's seen firsthand how sickening these guys can be.
I should be calm and focused, but there's some little piece of me inside that's nagging, poking, agitating all my sensibilities. I want blood and vengeance. I want each man inside that compound to suffer as many deaths as they’ve facilitated.
It's not uncommon for every sex trafficking ring to provide the ability to murder one of the women. If they feel like she is of no use to them, they might put out that information, but it's one of the more uncommon situations that we deal with. So uncommon, this is the first snuff ring I've been involved in.
“I need you to keep your heads on your shoulders. This mission is like every other we’ve done and I want you all home safe,” Shadow, the Cerberus MC vice president, says.
Several affirmatives crackle through the room, but many of the men are hyperfocused on what their expectations are once we enter the compound.
Cerberus doesn't operate regularly in the United States. There are a lot of clashes with other agencies. A lot of feelings getting hurt, a lot of toes getting stepped on. We aren't able to operate outside of the United States with complete impunity, but we have fewer restrictions.
There aren’t many governments that force us to follow regulations when we’re putting an end to a sex trafficker.
Costa Rica, the country we’re in now, has given us little pushback. In fact, it was the Costa Rican president who called Cerberus on this mission.