He nods, lost in his own thoughts as I try my best to stay standing.
When I got out of bed this morning, the shrill notes of Heidi’s voice sounding like the worst alarm clock in the world, I never expected to be face-to-face with Harrison Hughes.
If I’m honest, I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to be face-to-face with him again.
And I know that’s terrible.
I know he’s the father of the baby and that he deserves the chance to be a part of his child’s life—I know all of the important things.
I just also know that I had sex with him under the pretense that it was no big deal, without giving him the heads-up that I was a virgin or a celebrity—a whole list of other important things.
Things I feel shame over. Things I can’t change and don’t have a good excuse for. Things I can’t explain away with a simple sentence and a pat on the back.
I don’t even know anything about him. Hell, I certainly didn’t know he had a million dollars to toss around just to get a meeting with his baby mama.
Harrison’s face shutters as he steps back another foot and then spins in a circle, interlacing his hands at the back of his neck before turning to face me again, his face resolute but calm. “I had no clue you were a virgin, Rock.”
“I know,” I say softly.
His face creases as he tilts his ear toward his shoulder. “I would have been…different. I would have looked after you more. God, I can’t even stand the thought that I might have hurt you. Did I hurt you?”
I bite my lips and shake my head swiftly. “You didn’t hurt me.” Not even close.
“I wish I’d known,” he reiterates. “I would—”
“Never have touched me,” I finish for him with a raised eyebrow. “I know it, and you know it. There are two kinds of guys out there when it comes to women like me—the kind that hunts virgins for sport and the kind that avoids the emotional drama pointedly. I can tell…you would have avoided the drama.”
He smiles slightly and drops his arms to his sides, settling his hands on his hips. He dips his head for a brief moment, then flicks his head back up to force a little section of hair out of his green eyes. “You’re right. I wouldn’t have slept with you.”
I nod. “I know. But I’m sorry I didn’t give you the choice.”
He shakes his head and reaches out to take my hands, and I jump at the unexpected contact. He holds steadfast through the motion. “I’m not sorry, Rocky. Saying I’m not goes against everything else I’ve said up until now, but I’m not sorry it happened. Neither one of us was expecting this, but I wouldn’t take it back. I would never wish away this kind of a blessing, no matter how unplanned.”
I nod, blinking quickly in an attempt to fight my burgeoning tears. I feel exactly the same way. This baby is the best thing to happen to me in a long time—a part of the universe’s master plan, even if it wasn’t a part of mine.
“Life’s a mess,” Harrison says. “But there’s art in all the splatters.”
We stay quiet for a long moment, just standing there looking at each other, until his eyes avert from mine and fixate on my stomach.
“I don’t really know pregnancy protocol, and this might be a little forward, but can I…?” he asks softly, glancing between my face and the belly that contains a tiny, growing baby inside. Our tiny, growing baby.
All I can do is nod.
A soft smile lightens his face as he gently reaches out both of his hands and presses them against my stomach. Even through my clothes, I can feel the warmth of his skin. It’s such a contrast to this cold room, to this cold world, and goose bumps pebble my arms.
“I can’t believe there’s a baby in there,” he whispers, voice filled with awe.
“I know.” A quiet laugh escapes my throat, and my stomach jolts a little against his fingers.
“Can you already feel the baby move?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “Just little flutters here and there, but nothing you can probably feel yet.”
“Do you know…?”
I shake my head, already knowing what he’s asking. “I don’t know the sex yet. Actually, I don’t want to know. I want to keep it a surprise.”
“Wow, Rock. Just…wow,” he whispers and gently removes his hands from my belly, and the loss of the warmth against my skin urges my lips to pull down at the corners.
I have the oddest urge to grab those hands of his and stick them right back where they were, but my attention is snagged by the sound of Heidi bursting through the door.
I jump, backing two steps away from Harrison in a knee-jerk reaction.