“Do you just want to hide me away because I’m… I’m an… embarrassment? I’m sorry I didn’t answer when you called, but I made a lot of progress today with reading and I’m quite proud of myself.” I pause. “Riley knew I was here. I didn’t think…”
“You didn’t think about me. Got it,” Jesse says. “Why would you?” I swallow hard. There it is. The green-eyed monster. It took longer than I thought it would to show, but I somehow knew I’d be dealing with it.
“Jesse,” I whisper. “I really was busy with lessons. I’ll come to you now. Should I call a cab or something?”
He laughs, a caustic, sarcastic chuckle. “You will never call a cab again in your lifetime, Drew. Your car has been waiting at the office for you all day.” Now a pang of guilt spikes. Waiting for me all day? “I made dinner. It will be cold when you get here.” Jesse hangs up.
Great. I managed to piss him off without doing anything wrong. Well, what I perceive as wrong. This should be an interesting night. No one has ever made me dinner, or worried when I didn’t call back right away. Even if he’s mad, I know he cares. As twisted and toxic as the thought is, it’s the only thing I can think as I gather my stuff and leave the office. The hallway is dark, and there’s no sign of life as I make my way to the front where the elevator is. I know security is here, even if I can’t see them. There are cameras everywhere, now that I have more time to look around—tiny white and black bubbles tracking my every step. A chill slides down my spine, and I get the feeling. Not the one where I don’t belong. The one that whispers I don’t want to belong.
Pulling on the double doors that lead to the lobby, I exit to find a black suit behind the desk instead of Amanda. “Oh, hi,” I say, adjusting my bag, clutching my laptop. “My name is Drew, and I need to go home.” I debated the word because am I supposed to expose which apartment I’ll be in for the night? I’m not comfortable doing that here. I don’t know what people know, and the way Jesse reacted to others seeing me here puts me on edge.
“Of course, ma’am,” the guard says, standing to button his jacket. “Any stops on the way?”
I smile meekly. “No, thank you, it’s been a long day.”
Two other men appear when the black elevator opens. Blessedly, I recognize Reggie straight away. He doesn’t return my smile, and I read into it, eyeing the other guards with suspicion. I clear my throat. “Thanks for taking me home.”
“It’s our job, ma’am,” one guard says.
I test the boundaries. “I’m Drew. What’s your name?”
He looks at me sideways before breaking eye contact. Of course, he knows my name, so I’ve thrown him off. “I’m Darrell, that’s Brownie, and you already know Reggie.” He pauses before adding, “Ma’am.”
I nod. “It’s good to meet you.” I make sure to look at each man separately. “Will it always be you? This is all so new, and I want to know what to expect.”
Reggie exhales loudly. “That’s not how it works,” he says. “Your detail will rotate for safety reasons. I’ll be the constant, but they will rotate.” His tone is clipped. He doesn’t trust them. My stomach flips, and I stay close to Reggie when we enter the parking garage. One guard opens the door and I slide into the passenger seat. Reggie drives. Having them behind me makes me sweat. I glance over my shoulder when we pull into traffic and smile, like I might talk or something, but I’m too nervous for anything to come out. I pull out my phone and start a video, just in case. I don’t end it until Reggie walks me into Jesse’s apartment. Exhaling loudly, I slide down the double doors after I lock them.
I hate this. I went from being a nobody to a walking target in what feels like the span of a blink. Jesse is painting something in the living area, I smell it. I inhale the comforting scent and close my eyes. I picture him painting from my old window at the motel. How it was the only quiet moments I had where I could relax fully. “Hey are you alright?” Jesse says.
I look up from my spot on the floor. “I’m fine. Reggie seemed nervous about the other guards that brought me home, and well it made me nervous and, well, this is a lot.”
“Would you rather it not be enough?” he questions.
His blue eyes melt into mine, and I let my gaze dip to his paint splattered jeans and his bare chest. “I’ve had not enough my whole life and can say, no, I’d not rather that.” My voice is a whisper, and my words make his eyes darken.
“You’re safe, Drew. We always have new guards rolling through the ranks. The two today were still on probation so Reggie was only doing his job well.”
He steps toward me. “Say the word if it’s too much.”
I shake my head. “It’s not. I shouldn’t have said that.” Standing, I press my back against the door. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer your calls or call you back today.” My eyes at the floor, I say what’s on my heart. “People don’t care about me like this. No one has ever wondered where I was or if I was safe or why I didn’t call back. Even Callie, someone I’d consider my best friend checked on me, so I’d check on her. It was about survival, not emotions. I’m sorry, Jesse. I’ll be better about my phone.” I breathe out—rushed. “It’s only been work for me in the past.”
Jesse looks away, face unreadable even if I could see it front on. “I guess I’m not used to this situation either.” He speaks so quietly; I almost don’t hear him.
“What situation is that exactly? Because from what I’ve learned, you’ve been in this situation multiple times in the past.”
Hands fisting by his sides, he stares through me. “The situation in which my desires overtake my intentions.”
I wrinkle my brow. “What are your intentions?” Desires seem self-explanatory—an explanation in the realm of things I understand well. Sexual desire is something I know well.
Jesse licks his bottom lip slowly, hooded gaze skirting up and down my body. “Come eat dinner.”
“Okay,” I agree, timidly shuffling after him. “But dinner isn’t your intention.”
“I don’t owe you answers, Drew,” Jesse snaps. He hits the button on the microwave before he returns to painting.
“You don’t,” I agree. “I thought you’d like to give answers, though. Because you…care about me.” He doesn’t even break eye contact from his canvas, he continues painting. I take the plate out when it beeps and stare at the lovely meal. “Thanks for this,” I add. “It was thoughtful of you. I haven’t eaten all day.”
That gets his attention. “How do you go all day without eating? People are there literally waiting to get you whatever you need.”