That he heard. Jesse looks away when I meet his eyes. “We can come to an agreement about that,” Riley says. “For now, let us take care of this. There are things you shouldn’t be subjected to. It’s not fair.”
“Nothing is fair in love and war,” I say, remembering the line from a movie. “This is war.” I nod to the man on the cold floor, suit jacket open on one side. There’s no visible blood. “I only know what you both tell me, so if you want to keep me from being subjected to this stuff, the best weapon is knowledge.” Riley takes the knife from my hand, and gently pushes me into the kitchen cutting my view off as people enter the apartment and a low buzz of murmurs bounce off high ceilings.
Jesse comes in, and Riley has a wordless conversation with him. “If I told you too much too soon, it would be just as bad as knowing nothing, Drew,” Riley says, shoving a glass of water at me. I drink it quickly, realizing how thirsty I am. I fill it from the pitcher on the counter one more time and drink half.
Now that they’re both in front of me, and we’re alone, I can’t ignore the reality of my new world. “Are there any other women? This arrangement,” I ask, moving my arm in the space between us. I take another small sip.
“No. Just you.” It’s Riley that speaks. “That’s not how this works, but while we’re all here.” His voice trails off.
“This is a unit,” Jesse says. “Relationship decisions function as team decisions.”
Riley leans against the counter and folds his arms. He notices the shirt I’m wearing. “You were begging me to fuck you,” he says, licking his lips, then flicks a gaze to Jesse. “I wasn’t sure if we were there yet.”
My heart pounds. This is awkward, and I’ve been in some weird predicaments in the past. They don’t even remotely stack up to this.A completely neutral relationship of three?“Do I get a say, or is it just the both of you with the power?”
“You have power,” Jesse says. “What do you have on under the shirt?”
“Lingerie,” I say, hoping he doesn’t want to see. It’s strange enough processing my misfortune, or luck without trying to seduce both men at once.
“The red one?” He blows out a breath. Confirming this is luck. “I was hoping to see you in that.” His gaze darkens, and I can see the lust from where I stand, but that means so can Riley. and lines blur more than they were before. This is what they want. This is a lawless land where I can attain whatever I want. I unbutton the only buttons I had done and let the shirt slide off my shoulders.
Riley clears his throat and tries not to smile. Jesse stares, shakes his head, then bites a knuckle on a closed fist. “I’m going to shower now,” I announce. Confidence is something I’ve never had, but I know I need to fake it here. It’s imperative. “If it’s safe, that is.”
“It’s safe,” Jesse says. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He walks over to me and leans over and whispers, “It looks even better than I thought it would.” Jesse doesn’t touch me with anything but his words. He backs away slowly, gaze penetrating my skin. “Looks like I interrupted your lessons. I’ll get out of your way.”
His grin is devious, but Riley’s returning smirk is absolutely lethal. Even though I just saw a dead guy on the floor minutes ago, I remember what it feels like to have his mouth against my cunt, and wetness floods my thong. Or maybe it’s because Jesse is staring at me like I’m his next meal. I must pass between the men to get to Riley’s room and bathroom. I lean up on my toes and hug Jesse because it’s him who I won’t see until tomorrow. That’s the one fact clear to me.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” I say. It’s just enough for him. It tells him I care, and I want to be with him.
Jesse wraps his hand around my bare waist, eliciting a shiver that everyone can see. “More than okay,” he rasps at my ear. “Later.”
“For the record, this is the first I’m seeing her in this, too,” Riley says, clearing his throat. I draw away from Jesse and try not to seem self-conscious given I’m practically naked.
“Enjoy,” Jesse says, and leaves. He looks over his shoulder before closing the door, dark eyes glimmering with promise. I retreat to the shower with a million things moving through my mind at a snail’s pace. The day was laden with death, and as the hot water in Riley’s huge shower cascades over me, I wait for the grief. I wait for something, anything, that lets me know I’m processing my emotions. I lather my hair carefully with the hand that hurts the least and inhale the sweet scent. Still nothing comes. Taking my time, I wash the rest of my body thoroughly. There’s no shortage of hot water here. Shortage isn’t a word I’ll encounter in their presence. In a matter of days, I’ve gone from having almost nothing, to more than everything. I sit down on the stone floor and pull my knees to my chest. The shower only smells clean here. I half expect Riley to come in and rescue me from my thoughts because that’s just who he is, but he doesn’t, and I’m glad. After I dry off, I grab my phone and computer from the panic room and linger a moment or two, wondering how many people have been in here. That’s when I feel sadness.
After I dry my hair, I crawl into the oversized bed and relish the soft cotton against my bare skin, unsure if this is where I’m supposed to sleep. There are no secret doors or hidden bedrooms I know of in Riley’s apartment. My limbs are heavy and I’m about to drift to sleep when the bed weighs down next to me. I open my eyes, and Riley strokes hair out of my face. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Is everything taken care of?” I ask, voice cracking.
“Don’t worry abouteverything,” he whispers. “Are you really okay after today?”
I give him honesty. “Not everyone was there today, Riley. At the apartment complex that Jesse took care of. They’re not all gone, not to mention if a woman is blackmailed or an innocent child who was there says something to the wrong person.”
“Everything is handled. Please don’t worry.” He leans down and kisses the corner of my mouth. “You’re safe with me.” I close my eyes after that. “Always worrying for everyone else,” he says quietly. “Sleep, lamb,” he orders. “I want you in the morning.”
This time, I obey.
Chapter Eleven
Drew
I wake before the sun, and Riley is next to me in bed, his chest rising and falling slowly. It’s the only time since I have met him that I would I call his face peaceful. I wonder how many men are guarding this apartment. Who is watching his back so the ruler can slumber? In the still of the early morning shadows, I make myself promises. This may be the new normal, but I won’t compromise what I want. I’ll always hold close to my true goals. Simple ones like learning to read. Riley getting me lessons makes my heart race at the thoughtfulness. There are more long-term goals I’m also setting. I want to be somebody—a woman people fear and revere. I want true love. The kind from the movies. It might look a little different for me, but it doesn’t change the feelings.
Staring at the high ceiling, I watch the light spread as dawn wakes. I think about my grandma and my past. I don’t let it hurt me anymore. My goals trump everything. Jesse did me a favor by erasing it all. In his twisted mind that fixates on revenge, he’s given the ability to be whoever I want. Destiny is buried in the rubble of the projects, and Drew is here to stay. I roll and lay a hand on Riley’s chest. He stirs for a moment, but his breathing settles again quickly. Nestling my head against his bicep, I feel protected.Cherished.I sigh louder than I should.
Riley pulls me closer and then reaches under the covers to move me on top of his warm, naked body. His cock is long, thick, and hard against my stomach. “If you’re going to wake me up early, make it worth my while.”
“You did make lessons worth my while,” I say, sliding down to duck under the covers. “We do seem to have a problem, though.”