A lump sticks in my throat. “Are the women and children okay?”
“Of course, they’re also being protected.” He pauses. “Why would you care? Aren’t those people the source of your pain?”
“I never wanted to hurt anyone today. Jesse, well Jesse took things to a level I wasn’t prepared for and I’m not the type of person who wants someone to suffer just because I did.”
He mulls my words, rubbing his fingertips together as he analyzes me and my words. “You’re good,” he finally says.
“I wouldn’t say that. I’m fair. The women and children didn’t deserve what happened today, and they rarely have had a choice in what their fates are.” I pause. “I’m glad they’re being protected. Thank you.”
“No thanks required, and you’re wrong. You are good. It’s why you’re here. In my house. In my life, and after today, in our world.” He stands and my god does he look like a vision of handsome devil meets dashing movie star. Riley runs a hand through his sandy hair. “You shook things up in a way I couldn’t have anticipated. This isn’t the way we go about things as a general rule. It’s typically a business decision.”
“What is?” I ask, voice shaking. He rounds the desk and my whole body quivers. Elation spreads through my bones. I’m home. He’s here to soothe me like a human salve.
“What we do in our off hours,” he states, dragging a hand across the top of his wooden desk. “The question is will you stay?”
“Can I confirmIam what you both do in your off hours? What do I bring to the table?”
“It’s hard to see your worth when you’ve never believed in yourself,” Riley says, approaching slowly, the way Jesse does. It confuses me for a second, but then he’s close enough and his scent hits like a punch, and he takes my face in one large, warm hand. “Jesse makes quick decisions. Which is fine because it takes me longer. We balance each other out, and you, well you’re the neutralizer. The stabilizer. The woman with whom I can strip off the many different masks of Riley Astor and be myself with.” His words take my breath away. “I want you by my side.”
“Am I to be by Jesse’s side in the same way? Equal?” As a million questions race through my mind, this is the one that stands out as most important. “You told me to give him what he wanted and I did.” Guilt hits me square in the chest as I recall the blow job.
Riley grins and it’s positively delicious. “He told me. I have to say that has me a bit excited.” He leans over and kisses my neck, sending a thrill through me. Every nerve ending seems to be concentrated where his warm lips linger against my skin. He pulls away. “It’s not only like that, though. You’d have a life in our family. A career of your choosing.” He pauses. “What did you think of Amy Hansley? Let’s take this somewhere more comfortable. We can walk and talk.” He releases my face and takes my hand.
I blink once slowly, clearing the lust haze rising within me. “She seems nice, and strong. Sounds like your business relies on her a lot.”
Riley nods, squeezing my hand. “She could use help. Would she be someone you’d feel comfortable working with? She’ll show you the ropes.” I’m already nodding because it seems too good to be true. “It’s all above the surface, too. Like you wanted.” The difference between what Jesse had in mind for me, and Riley’s offer are worlds apart. Is it that surprising when the men are polar opposites, though?
“Yes, I’d like that very much.”
“Mayor Townsend always needs aides in the case you find out real estate isn’t where your passion is.” He’s speaking to me with such confidence, as if he believes in me to do these jobs that sound important. “It’s important you carve out a life outside of us. We can be a lot to deal with.” He leads me to his bedroom. It’s even more extravagant than Jesse’s. I know it’shisthe second I cross the threshold because it smells like him. My bag is resting on a luggage rack in front of the bed. “Mostly, I want you to be happy and that’s a huge ask with our lifestyle.” I remain quiet. “There’s a good bit of traveling for me, Jesse is more constant. You could travel with me if you’d like or stay put here. Between the both of us we make a whole person.” He swallows and turns to face me. “You always have a choice here.” And I thought shit was weird to begin with. If I am understanding what he is saying, this is more than I was prepared to handle.
It almost seems like a threat, but any of those words don’t pose any risk, so why does it feel that way? “I have never dreamed of a life like this. It’s, it’s more than I’ve ever hoped for,” I reply softly. “Where is the risk? Everyone in your family is untouchable. All I see is perfection.”
The brightness in his eyes dims as he turns away from me. “The name comes with a price.” Riley’s neck works as he swallows. I’m sure he talks business all day long with ease, but this is making him uncomfortable.
“I feel like most would gladly pay it to have this position in life.” I wave my arm around. “I still don’t understand the risk.”
He slips out of his jacket and tosses it on a bench by the fireplace. “I’m not explaining well,” he says, approaching me slowly, sliding his hands into his pockets. “I’ll paint you a picture. Think about when you’re driving,” he says, and I don’t correct him to remind him I don’t have a driver’s license. He motions straight out with his arms. “Driving down a country road at night. There are no other cars in sight, no streetlights to guide you, just pitch black. Woods surround you on both sides. Your vehicle’s headlights, you, are the only light for as far as the eye can see. It’s scary because you have no clue what the fuck is around you. Do enemies lurk in the tree line? Liars? Or worse still, villains who wear the skin of friends? You can only see as far as your headlight stretches. The known is limited. Drew,” he says, biting his bottom lip. I can picture the scene vividly. “You can be the light, surrounded by darkness. Is that something you’re willing to sacrifice? Lights dim when they’re tired or go out completely when people depend on them too much.” He grabs a strand of my hair. “You had to be walked down one floor because you have already been marked.”
My heart pounds and I’m not sure if it’s from his proximity, or the fear. “Marked as what?”
“Marked asmine. The greatest risk any person can bear. More painful than any scar. The Astor name.” He’s careful with his word choice.Painful.It means something significant.
“How many came before me and where are they now?”
“Most live in other countries under aliases, and some are buried,” he states coldly. Like death isn’t a big deal. “Not because of me, or my life, because of their choices.” I want him to explain, but I also don’t. “There aren’t many that mean all that much. Not like how you were acquired. Everything about this arrangement is different.”
“I wasn’t acquired,” I say. “It was happenstance.”
“You think,” Riley growls. “Nothing is happenstance in our world. It doesn’t matter how it came to be. Only that it is.” He sighs, laying a hand on my cheek. “Is this something you want?”
“If I already need protection moving from one floor to another, I don’t think I have an option even if you say there’s always a choice.” I think about Callie in Florida and know how it was made possible without much effort.
“You didn’t answer the question,” he says, taking a step back. “We can settle you somewhere of your choosing and you’d be safe.” But I’d be without him, without them. “If that is what you want. It’s not too late.” The tone of his voice takes on an authoritative quality, what I imagine he sounds like when he’s being a boss.
When I answer this time, I answer with my whole soul. “I want you.”
“A simple answer to a complex question,” he says. “It gives me hope.”