“Is that what’s wrong? With reading and my brain?”
He looks shocked. “He didn’t tell you?”
I shake my head. “Like I mentioned, he doesn’t give out information of any sort.”
“They saw on the MRI scan you had in the hospital, and he made the connection himself after having spoken with you. You are quite well spoken so he knew it had to be the reading portion.”
The relief coursing through me could sedate a third world country. “I’m not stupid,” I say. I repeat it over and over inside of my head. The biggest fear I have ever had is suddenly not something to fear.
“Salty or sweet?” Riley asks, both brows raised. I tell him.
He points at the menu and starts reading it to me. He ignores the tears rolling down my face. He calmly tells me which ones he likes best and why, and when he moves on to the next item, he takes his time sounding out the word as he moves his finger across.
“That,” I say, sniffling. “I want that.”
“French toast with eggs and bacon, excellent choice,” he says.
He raises his hand, and the waitress comes back and takes our orders.
I clear my throat. “Jesse told me you were a better teacher than he was.”
He laughs. “He knew how to read when I found him, he just needed a little help figuring things out is all. I can help you if that’s what you want.”
“Why would you help me?”
“I see why Jesse took a fondness to you. You remind him of himself, and don’t think this is some charity case either, that’s not how he operates. The things he takes an interest in, interest me too.”
I see the opening. “Because you’re brothers.”
He laughs. “We’re not brothers in the sense you think.”
“Are you, are you, in a different gang?” I whisper.
This causes him to roar with laughter. It ignites the atmosphere around us, coating me like a salve to my soul. “We’re not blood brothers, if that’s what you’re suggesting,” he says in between chuckles. “Just men who have a strong understanding and love the same life.”
I nod, wondering how much he’ll tell me before closing me off.
“What about you? Tell me what makes you tick.”
“No one has asked me that before,” I admit. “I don’t have any family, really. Callie is the only friend I have. Honestly, the best part of my day was when I got a chance to stare out my window and watch Jesse paint. He seemed so carefree when his talent was leaking on the canvas. It let me forget my life while living vicariously through him.”
“He is a talent,” Riley says. “If you want something different for your life, you have to reach out and take it.”
Swallowing down the nerves, I push the memories from my past out of my mind. I shift on the leather material in the booth and face Riley. “What if what I want doesn’t want me back?”
“What do you want?” It sounds more like a statement than a question, but his eyes are clear and earnest.
“I want to feel safe all the time. I don’t want to have to sell my body to make rent. I want to make a difference in the world. Like Jesse. He’s leaving all his artwork. It’s a living, breathing legacy. I want my past to shake in its boots when it sees me. Like when Matteo saw you last night. I want that kind of power. I want to wake up happy—without dread for another day. To read a book about love so I finally know what it really feels like.” I cover my mouth when I hear my last words. “I got carried away, but I won’t apologize because that will upset you more than my word vomit will.”
“You can have all of those things, Drew.” He uses my real name. Jesse must have told him everything.Not everything,I remember. He didn’t tell him about the almost kiss and that seems like an important fact to Riley for some unknown reason. “I’ll give them to you. I can give you all that and more.”
My heart speeds up and slows down in the same breath. My wildest dream unfolding in front of me feels like it’s obtainable. “Why? Why would you do anything for me?”
He seems deep in thought, and I watch as his wide jaw moves side to side. Riley hits me with the full weight of his stare. “You can’t lose when you’re decent to people.”
Just because the concept of something for nothing is foreign to me doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, I surmise. “What do you want from me in return?”
“Give Jesse what he wants.”