My heart pounds. “For what? Why is she in solitary?”
The woman finishes patting me down and lets me button up my shirt. “Glass ain’t right in the head, ma’am. Figured you’d know that. She don’t play well with others.”
I nod, I know that. Not. Doors are locked and unlocked as we make our way through the maze of cages to reach a room with a single table, and a small woman sitting by herself. She’s cuffed to the metal table. She doesn’t see me yet, but I already feel the tears welling behind the anger and hate. There’s also a relief coursing through me. “You have two hours. Just signal when you want out and unlock the door.”
“I’ll be locked in?”
“You’re safe. She can’t move, sweetie.”
My gaze hardens as she uses a nickname. A condescending one that was thrown around during my youth. “Noted,” I say, without taking my eyes off hers.
Autumn’s gaze lights on me as soon as she hears the key enter the lock. I don’t say anything yet. I’m not ready, I’m shaking, my legs trembling as I cross the cold room to sit in front of her. “Who are you?” she asks, voice hoarse. From either disuse or screaming. I can’t decide. They said she’s crazy.
I inhale a deep breath. “I’m Maeve Ahern.”
Her face changes. “Maeve? My Maeve? Mommy’s sweet girl?”
My eyes close softly. “Autumn, I just have a few questions for you and I’ll never darken your prison cell again.”
When I open my eyes, she’s crying. Tears cutting thick paths down her cheeks. “You made it. You made it out.”
There’s no composure when I see her reaction to knowing I’m her daughter. “How? How could you give me away?”
Her face shatters. “Give you away? They took you from me, sweet girl. Oh, I can’t believe it’s really you. You’re so beautiful. Perfect. I never thought I’d get a chance to apologize to you. I would never give you away.”
“Do you know what I went through? The foster homes,” I choke out. “The orphanage.”
“Oh my God, what happened?” She tries to grab my hands, but her cuffs stop her. It’s a small reminder that this isn’t a joyous reunion. Autumn is a killer, and has a daughter following in her footsteps.
“I was fourteen when I gave birth at the home for girls. They sent me away to have the twins.” Her eyes match mine perfectly and they glaze over as she goes back to the obviously horrible memory. “They didn’t tell me I wasn’t going to keep you girls. Not until I gave birth. The family came and they called me in to meet them, but my own adoptive parents weren’t there so I was alone and didn’t have a leg to stand on. I was an orphan as an infant too.” She looks at me, and I recognize the pain. I look away. Autumn goes on, “The family only wanted one baby and they took your sister. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”
“Rena,” I whisper, goose bumps prickling my skin. “Rena got a good family.”
“A week later I saw they had another couple scheduled to come in and I panicked because I didn’t want to lose Maeve, I mean, you, I didn’t want to lose you too. I packed a bag with as much as I could, loaded you into a carrier, and escaped the girl’s home in the middle of the night. It was… hard.” Her tears haven’t stopped, and now they pick up the pace. “The things I had to do for money while we were on the streets, well, I’m not proud of them, but I had you, and oh my God, Maeve, did you look at me like I was God. Like I was the only person who mattered in the entire world. You became my entire universe and I did whatever I had to do to take care of you.” Her blue eyes freeze as she stares out the window, unblinking. “Then they found us. I was shipped off to a juvenile detention center and you went to an orphanage. They stripped me of my rights and I never saw you again. Do you know how much I wanted you?”
It seems like an impossible story, but it makes sense with everything that I’ve discovered about her life this far. “I’ve been in a lot of therapy in here and I know it’s the reason I turned out the way I did.”
“What do you mean?” Is she suggesting I’m the reason she became a psychopath?
“Maeve, I had an okay life after I went back to my adoptive parents, but I became a sex addict. The doctor thinks it’s because subconsciously I wanted another baby—one I could save. Because I lost the twins. Once you have one addiction others follow, and I got real mixed up and all my gauges were smashed. I never knew what was right or wrong because I lived two separate lives. I was the person the world thought I was and then there was the real me, buried under the layers. The real me was messed up. Too messed up to be a mother. Too messed up to live a normal life in society with other folks.” I know she used to be beautiful, I’ve seen photos. But the weathered, battered woman sitting in front of me is a shell of her former self.
It resonates, though. What she said about being two different people. I was almost there. Combining all the versions of myself because Lincoln loved me back together. Then I let my past creep in. Autumn is staring at me, like she’s trying to commit every skin cell to memory. “Tell me though. Tell me you’re not like me.”
I let a tear slip when I blink. “I rose above it all. I’m not like you.”
“You didn’t let the darkness bring you down?”
I shake my head. “No, though sometimes it tries hard. Rena did though. She’s a murderer. Just like you. Not only that, but she wants to kill me.”
“The other twin,” Autumn whispers. “I never knew her like I did you. She left me too soon. I didn’t love that one like I did Maeve.” She realizes her mistake. “Like I love you.”
“Who was my father?”
“He wasn’t a good man.”
“Who was my father?” I ask again.
“I suppose I’ve never said it out loud. My adoptive father.”