Lincoln licks his lips. “Do you want to take our relationship to the next level? We love each other. Turner loves you. Life altering incident from a few weeks ago aside, I want you near me. Will you move in with me?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “You went from forever to moving in together. Which is it?”
“Well, I couldn’t really get a good gauge on your reaction to forever, so I went to the step below, moving in.” Lincoln blushes as he reaches into the pocket inside the breast of his jacket and pulls out a red velvet box.
My immediate reaction is that of horror. Rexy. Déjà vu. Death. Pain. Grief. Attachments. Danger. It’s knee jerk and I know my subconscious will settle because this is Lincoln Wilds. “What the hell is that?” He extends his palm toward me. “You just gave me the necklace.” I haven’t even taken it off. That’s how much I love it, and what it represents.
“It’s for you,” he says, handing me the box instead of opening it. A sheen of sweat breaks across his face. “It can be whatever you want, Maeve. I just want you in any way I can have you, and I want you to know that I’m here to stay.”
My hands shake as I take the box from his hand and pop open the lid with my thumb. Sure enough, it’s a sparkly ring, with a yellow center stone flanked by diamonds. It’s beautiful, and it fits my personality perfectly, except I’m not quite sure what he’s asking.
I meet his eyes. “When you ask someone to move in, a big sparkly ring isn’t required.”Take the flight, Maeve.
Lincoln is tapping a finger on his leg. “Well, talk me through this then.” He bites his lip. It’s endearing how nervous he is.
“Are you asking me to marry you? Because I wouldn’t have any questions if you were.”
“You shouldn’t have any questions, so I guess that’s why I’m not sure where to go from here.”
I press my lips together to suppress a giggle. “You could try… oh, I don’t know. Maybe asking me to marry you? If that’s what this is,” I say, shaking the box. It glitters in the soft light of the fireplace. “If that’s where you’re going.” I don’t give him time to respond. “Or, on the other hand, this could be a very beautiful, very expensive, promise ring.”
He’s confused and taken aback. “Oh,” he says, drawing a hand over the scruff on his face. “It could go a couple different ways then.”
I say his name and his eyes meet mine. “I love you, Lincoln. Either way. Ring or no ring. Promise or no promise.”
“This is one promise I intend to keep, Maeve. You know I don’t take those lightly. In fact, I don’t ever make them at all. Have never, actually. When I ask for your hand because I promise to hold it forever, it’s because I mean it. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.” He shakes his head. “Believe me when I say my love for you shakes me down to my core. I question my sanity sometimes because when I think of you and being with you, it’s all-encompassing. Your face clouds my mind. I can hear your laugh, or see you in the quiet moments, staring off. Sometimes you look completely, harrowingly, sad. Then you look at me and it’s like I brighten your whole fucking world.” His back straightens. “I’ve never had that before, Maeve. Not quite in this way. Sure, I mean a whole hell of a lot to Turner, but as far as romantic relationships go, I’ve always been missing a partner who wants me as much as I want them. A partner who needs me in the ways I need them. To me, that’s heaven.”
Tears fill my eyes and my heart rips wide open. I cover my mouth with one hand. Lincoln takes my hand and the ring box and slides the ring onto my left ring finger. “Let me not mince words, now. Maeve, will you be my little slice of heaven? Marry me and let me love you the way you deserved to be loved.” When I continue silently weeping, he goes on, “I’ll mess up, I’m sure of it, but there’s no one else I want to mess up with on this planet than you. I’ll be the one you can count on. Please say yes.”
In this moment, I want to scream at the top of my lungs, that yes, I want to marry him, yes, I will take the flight. I won’t second guess my love, nor will I worry about what will happen in the future. The reality is, I have to worry about it. That’s part of why Lincoln loves me. He does brighten my entire world, and I do need him. I open my mouth to respond and my voice shakes.
His eyes turn down in the corner as he senses the hesitation. “You’re gonna break my heart, aren’t you?” His voice is quiet and comforting.
Quite the opposite.I’m trying to save it.The intensity in his eyes is more than I can bear. I look down at my left hand and the shining rock. “I’ll move in with you. I’ll wear your ring.” I let my gaze meet his. “But I can’t make you any promises tonight.”
He blows out a breath noisily. “That was rough,” he says, inhaling just as deeply. He leans over and kisses my cheek. “Too much too soon?” The question breaks my heart.
“No, that’s not it at all,” I return. “When you know, you know, and Lincoln, we’ve both known. Hear me out, now. What if this,” I say, flipping my hand around to show him the ring, “Is the promise?”
He raises one brow. “Like a promise ring?”
I close my eyes and hang my head. “Lincoln, I’m afraid of disappointing you.”
“The only disappointment would be if you don’t spend the rest of your life with me.”
Humor or wit can’t save me from this. Lying my way out of it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. The only thing left is the truth. “I’ll marry you. Yes.”
Lincoln sits back farther. “Well, that seems coerced.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I ruined the moment, I’m sorry. I should have just said yes the second you pulled the box out of your jacket like I wanted to.”
“Is this about commitment or something else?”
“Loving you is easy. Loving Turner is easy. Loving people has never been easy for me. It’s always this slow, brick-by-brick process that eventually ends in regret. I’m detaching what love has been like for me in the past, and I’m going to let go. It’s hard because of… Rexy.” I hate bringing him into this. “It was this torturous process of resisting my emotions for years.” I sigh. “It’s never been like that with you, and I can’t even try successfully. This ring as witness.” I meet his eyes and will him to see the love there. “I love you and I want to be with you forever.”
I stand from the fuzzy carpet and Lincoln follows my lead. I’m fumbling with my sweatshirt. “Do you trust me?” I give him back his words.
“I do. I think if you’d just said yes up front, I’d have questioned that, too. You gave a very Maeve-like response and I like that.”