This is what she does to me. After all these years...Tsarina still controls me. Only that this time, I’ll never let her go. I’ll be damned if I allow it again. My father died on the same day, the guerilla was defeated.
“All this for a young girl who rejected you,” he’d croaked between cracked lips as he dragged his last breaths. “She has destroyed you, my boy.”Then his eyes flickered and he added, “It’s my wish that she one day will restore you.”
Oh, she will restore me. She will build up what she has ruined. This time she doesn’t have choice. I’m bigger, faster and stronger now. This time will be different.
She’s leaving in a week she said but we’ll see about that. I’d rather climb up my tower and jump before letting her do that. I can’t have her toying with me in this way. The amount of effort I had to put in to get over her, to forget about her was pure torture.
Worst of all it didn’t work. My feelings are still there, aching inside of me and begging to be held by her. She makes my blood boil and I feel like I have to struggle to contain a volcano from erupting. It takes immense strength to stop myself from yanking her down on the floor and push myself into her body.
I can barely look at her legs in those dark denims, lean and tight and her ass protrudes like a ripe apple beneath her coat. Pinching the collar, she asks, “Where can I put this thing?”
Personally, I’d prefer it if she kept it on. Just until I calm down. But I can’t tell her that and I nod toward the hanger behind the door. She lets out a little laugh, takes off her coat and it nearly floors me. She’s thicker than I thought, brimful with curves she’d never be able to gain in these sparse lands.
It’s obvious she’s more wholesome than ever and it must be because of all those milkshakes and sunshine. Her cleavage strains against her thin, v-cut sweater and my body stirs as I struggle to tear my gaze away. And that ass...inwardly I howl like a wolf. Tilting her head to the side, she throws her hair over her back, murmuring,
“Everything okay? You’re looking at me strangely.”
Sharply averting my gaze, I shrug. “Wasn’t aware that I was staring.”
“Well you were...,” she sniggers a little. “Katinka was kind enough to let me know I’ve gained weight.” A teasing glance flashes in her eyes. “But you don’t think that do you?”
I tense when I catch something coquettish in her voice. Is she flirting with me? Can’t be and I grow cold again. “I don’t care what your body looks like.” But I do care because her bodykillsme. I want to bite into her like she’s a piece of warm, soft bread straight out of the oven and I’ll lick up every single crumb, making sure nothing goes to waste.
“Well alright then...,” Tsarina sighs, rolling her eyes, “you sure are in a mood though.” She playfully jabs my shoulder, gracing me with a murderous erection. “Where’s the sweet boy I once knew?”
You fucking tell me, I want to bellow at her.Shewas his undoing. She was the reason why he couldn’t cope anymore and had to turn into a beast to be able to survive. And now she has the audacity to miss him? Where were her kind words and affection when the boy needed them the most?
Snarling at her, I stop when she takes a step back and looks at me in shock.
“That was...um uncivilized.” She shivers, wrapping her arms around her. “Maybe it’s the chill that’s making you act this way. Your place is colder than a freaking refrigerator.”
“You could’ve kept your coat on. Instead of prancing around in next to nothing and showing off.”
Showing off just to spite me and I grit my teeth. Is that what she’s being doing oversees? Tempting men with her beauty, having them thirst over her the way I’ve thirsted? And suddenly I want to hop on a flight and go on a murder spree over an entire continent.
“Balthazar!” she cries with wide eyes. “I’m hardly showing off. And I’m definitely not prancing around. What is going on with you?”
“Nothing,” I growl and she calmly raises her brows as if she’s determined to have patience with me. But I don’t want her to show me any patience. I want her to feel what I feel. I want her to suffer. And then I want her tobegfor me the same way I begged for her.
My muscles stiffen as she walks over to me and I try not to let myself be hypnotized by her hips. Stopping in front of me, she inhales and looks up and I’m so much taller than her now. So much stronger too. Before she could push me and I would have fallen but now I’m strong enough to catch her.
“If you’re that angry with me, then maybe it’s best that I go.”
Yeah, I bet she probably wants to get rid of me once again.
“I’m not angry,” I snarl and she purses her lips, before her eyes go lower. “Who says I’m angry?”
“Your muscles are clenching.” Her cheeks turn red and she averts her gaze. “You’re pretty fit, Balthazar.” The tint on her cheeks increases. “Likereallyfit.”
“Don’t be too impressed. I have steroids to thank for that.”
Twitching, she stares at me before bursting into laughter. Tilting her head back, she opens her wide mouth and I feel myself crumble. How I’ve missed that laugh. Her smiles. They way her eyes twinkle when she laughs. I didn’t mean to make a joke but now I don’t regret it.
“I forgot how funny you can be,” she grins, putting a hand on my shoulder and my blood turns into lava. She holds it there for a moment before withdrawing and there’s something unsure in her eyes. “Do you live here on your own?”
“Yeah.”
But in that moment a tortured wail sounds from upstairs.