Shaking his head, he gasps, “How can I know for sure?” He throws a suspicious look around the room. “Did you invite a male into this castle, behind my back? Someone from the village?” His eyes flood with a jealous rage and his muscles ripple dangerously. “Petrush?”
“No!” I cry in surprise but the surprise grows into shock when Balthazar pulls out a gun from his bedside table. Shit, I didn’t even know he had one in here. I should’ve checked. How could I have been so stupid!
“I thought I’d satisfied you,” he rasps as his eyes roll around in his head. “I’m no man if I can’t satisfy my own woman.”
“You did satisfy me! Balthazar, I’m still ecstatic from our lovemaking!”
“Then why would you look for another male?” he snarls, not hearing me and I pale. “I’ll unleash hell on him, bathe in his blood and stake his dead body at the village square as a warning...they will all learn what happens when you try taking what’s mine!”
“Balthazar!” I cry but he just gives me a sharp glance, before going for the hallway and I run after him. Oh shit, what’s he going to do now? Stumbling after him, I let out a scream when Balthazar fires a shot through the window and the glass shatters.
“Where are you hiding him?” he growls in hyper agitation. “Where are you hiding your lover...” He whirls around, his eyes landing in a corner. “Found him,” he snarls, firing a shot again but it’s just a tin soldier and he falls face down with a clank. The dark made him look like a figure and Balthazar wipes sweat of the back off his neck. He hangs with his head, unable to make sense of things in this intensified state.
“See...,” I stutter carefully, “there’s nobody here. Put the gun down before you hurt yourself. Or me.”
Balthazar goes limp. “You?” he breathes between his teeth, his eyes stricken with horror. “I would never hurt you, Tsarina.” The horrified expression turns into determination. “This gun’s meant to be used on me, if you ever leave me again.”
He can’t keep on saying things like that and I whisper, “P...put it down.”
To my relief he does, before falling to his knees before me, clutching my hips and he shakes me. “On my knees again,” he groans, burying his face in my stomach and my heart aches for him. “Always me who’s on my knees.”
His shoulders shake before he curses. “Fuck it, if this is how it has to be then so be it.” He does a deep bow before looking up at me with feverish eyes. “I’ve been on my knees before you since the moment you were born. And this is where I’ll remain. As your tsar and as your servant.” He clasps my hand and gives it a kiss, “Tsarina...”
He doesn’t finish what he was about to say, but collapses, his large body landing with a thump and my trembling stops. I check the gun and flood with relief that there were no more bullets left.
Dammit, that could’ve gone seriously awry. Bending over Balthazar’s body, I put my hands under his arms and drag him back.
****
Rolling around in bed, I’m overcome by a sense of calm. Strong arms are wrapped around me, a steady heartbeat beating against my back and this feels nice. This feels amazing compared to how intense these last couple of days have been and the arms that hold me, rock me as if knowing that I could use the security and relaxation.
“Beauty?” a soft voice whispers and I slowly crack a lid. Light’s streaming in through the big windows and I’m comfortably propped up against the pillows. Balthazar’s right next to me and his eyes aren’t dazed anymore and his skin isn’t sticky and the room finally doesn’t feel like a sauna.
He’s been sleeping for a ton of hours straight ever since the gun incident and it seems to have done him well. Sitting up, I whisper, “You’re better now.” His hair isn’t slicked against his forehead anymore and he smells like he’s taken a shower. And most importantly, the frenzy has dissipated.
His mouth moves in a lopsided smile and he rubs his neck. “What happened?”
“You can’t remember anything?”
“Only glimpses here and there. But I remember shamelessly helping myself to your body.”
My cheeks heat. “You were running a serious fever. I think it’s because you went out in the blizzard without a coat and then when we came home, you could barely contain yourself, acting like you were about to detonate...I think it all was a bit too much for you.”
“My first time with you...,” he rasps, “fuck you’re right, it was too much for me. Threw my system off completely.” He drags a hand down his face. “I hope I didn’t hurt you while I was frantic?”
I shake my head but his eyes still grow concerned as if he doesn’t trust me on this.
“But you’re so small compared to me. You should’ve stopped me if I went too far,” he adds and I cross my arms over my chest.
“You’re almost seven feet tall and you probably weigh around 250 pounds. Stopping you from doing anything isn’t exactly a piece of cake.”
“Then you should’ve shot me, in the leg. In the arm... There’s a gun in my bedside drawer.”
“Oh?” My face grows red. “I didn’t know that.”
Balthazar nods, “You must’ve had a tough time dealing with me.”
“No, you were a sweetheart,” I say and he raises his brows in surprise, but seems relieved. “The sweetest."