“A father who’d never cared about you before. But I cared, I looked after you and yet you left me for a man who’d once abandoned you. I fucking hope it was worth it.”
Her eyes flare. “Oh, it was worth it. Especially considering you didn’t exactly turn into Mr. Righteousness himself!”
“Shut up,” I growl and she gasps with indignation.
“Stop this! This isn’t you, Beastie.”
“Told you not to call me that,” I snarl in anger and she shouts,
“What is your problem? You once told me you loved me.”
The memory is too much and the fact that she still remembers sets me off. “But you never said it back!” Throwing the glass into the fireplace, I watch the fire bloom when coming into contact with alcohol and I bellow, “You never said you loved me back!”
Gasping in shock, she stumbles back and tears fill her eyes before she turns around and runs.
CHAPTER SIX
Tsarina
With my heart in my throat, I race down the staircase. I stumble down the steps and cry out, before regaining balance by grabbing the banister. What just happened upstairs plays on repeat in my mind and I just know I have to get away.
There’s too much fury in him. Too much pain and seeing him like this hurts me too, makes me feel guilty for never giving him back the words he wanted to hear. All he wanted was to know I love him back. But I was a teen back then, shocked by his fervor and it threw me off guard. I was overwhelmed and...
“Tsarina!” Balthazar bellows from upstairs and I flinch. “Get back here you little renegade!”
Not when he’s acting out of control like that and I snatch my coat and run out into the courtyard. I regret it instantly when the wind rips in me as if it has grown claws and wolves howl in distance.
Gritting my teeth, I decide to go for it and my heart thumps in my chest as I begin running. It’s harder than I thought it’d be. So much snow has fallen that it feels like wading through sand. I struggle to keep myself upright, my eyes hurting from how ruthless the wind blows and the snowflakes feel like little daggers against my retinas.
In the distance, I hear Balthazar roaring for me but I don’t stop. Grabbing my gown with two hands, I lift it to be able to run faster and I swish by the naked trees. I’m heading for the village. There, I’ll be able to hide from Balthazar just until he calms down.
We need a little time apart. Crashing at his place wasn’t the best idea. Not when everything still is so refresh and he seems to remember everything as if it was yesterday. An ache wraps around my body until I can barely breathe when I think back on the look that flashed his face, the day that I left.
He looked done for. Defeated. Like he would never laugh again. Above all, he looked...
Scared.
A teenage boy afraid of losing his best friend. And the love of his life.
I pick up in speed, twitching when I hear Balthazar yell my name again. He sounds closer this time and I didn’t count on him being so fast. I should’ve. Dammit, he’s a warlord after all and we’re not kids anymore.
Back then I could outrun him, I could fight him and always come out on top but now our roles have switched and now it’s me who’s the delicate one. When he yells for me again, sounding even closer this time I let out a yelp and jump in between a couple of trees.
A branch rips up a part of my gown and I bite my lip, but don’t stop.
Hearing the sound of running footsteps coming closer and closer, I realize I won’t be able to outrun him and I decide to hide. Throwing myself to the side, I roll over a giant, snow covered rock and cower. Gulping, I try not to breathe too loud when Balthazar enters the meadow.
His eyes are wild, his body shaking from the turmoil and he whirls around, looking in all directions for me. Putting his hands around his mouth, he shouts, “Tsarina! Don’t fucking hide from me.”
If he could act like a normal person, I wouldn’t have to!
Spinning around, he searches for me. “Where did she go?” he mutters, his eyes turning more and more frenzied. “Where’d she go?” His gaze lands on the piece of my gown the branch ripped off and he snatches it, pressing it to his face and inhales.
I tremble, hoping he won’t find me and he clenches the fabric in his hands.
“Tsarina!” he yells. “I know you’re hiding from me, Beauty. I know you’re here somewhere...” His face twists with fury. “Get out now or I’ll fucking set fire to the entire village in your name!”
He doesn’t mean that. He can’t mean that and yet I shudder from how sincere he sounds.