I didn't wake up hung over the next day. I woke up feeling worse. A nightmare featuring Reyna jerked me awake. In the dream, she was living in that shit-hole efficiency, caring for a kid who looked suspiciously like me.
Fuck. What if I was wrong? What if I was the father of her baby?
The nightmare got worse because apparently, my conscience hated me. A man showed up at her place. His features weren't clear, but I knew it wasn't Dean. He told Reyna he would love her and raise the child as his own. Dean had said something similar in the kitchen the day I overheard them, but Reyna had turned him down. But in this dream, she eagerly went to the man. She looked at him with love. The boy who looked like me went to the man, reached his arms up, and called him Daddy. That was what shook me from the dream.
I didn't want to analyze what it meant. All I wanted was to go back to how things were before. Before, when I was alone with nothing but my anger at my father and the board to fuel me.
Once again, I shoved my head under the spray of the shower to get rid of the images of Reyna building a life with somebody else and denying that I cared at all.
I arrived at work like I had the day before. I buried myself in reports and virtual meetings, not coming up until after lunchtime.
My stomach was growling, demanding not to be ignored. I considered ordering something and having it brought in but decided a walk and a little fresh air might do me good. I rose from my chair, put on my jacket, and opened the door to leave my office, only to run into Amelia.
She hit me hard in the chest. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
My hands covered the spot where she hit me because it smarted. I narrowed my eyes at her, wondering what had gotten into her. "Ow. What the hell's wrong with you?"
She stared up at me with so much anger she couldn’t speak.
"What's wrong?" I looked around the outer area of my office, but no one was there. My secretary had apparently gone to lunch. "Where's Andrew? Is something wrong with him or Max?"
"No. There's something wrong with you." She punched me again.
"Ouch." I stepped back to get arm’s length away so she wouldn’t hit me anymore. "What is going on?" But even as I asked the question again, I realized she had to have heard about Reyna.
"I know this thing wasn't supposed to be real, but you need to stop lying to yourself. Beating George Keyes or our father is not being a man. Standing by the woman you love and acknowledging the children you made with her, that's a man, James. Be a man."
The moment I realized this was about Reyna, I did everything I could to shut down emotionally. I loved my sister, but I couldn't talk to her about this. And in fact, her reaction hurt because it told me she had taken Reyna's side.
"The kid isn’t even mine."
Her hand swatted out, but I jumped out of the way before she could hit me again. "You are an idiot." The anger on her face dropped to sadness. "Why don’t you see it?" She stepped toward me, and I braced myself to be hit again. But instead, she put her hands on my chest, gripping my lapels. "Open your eyes, James. Open your heart. You can have something more precious than George Keyes’s respect or becoming the head of this company."
I stared down at her, doing everything I could to keep the emotion that wanted to fill in my chest from doing just that. Guilt and hope tried to manifest, but I closed it down. "You didn't hear what I heard. Did she tell you her ex showed up? Did she tell you that he wanted to bring her home so they could raise their child together?"
"Yes. And then she said that she didn't want to do that. And then she said that the child wasn’t his. And then she said she loved you."
I felt like I was in a battle to keep the words from penetrating. Reyna didn’t love me. "It's all an act. She's very good at pretending."
She thumped me hard in the chest again. "Stop it. Stop being such an idiot. God." She whirled away from me, and while I hated to see the disappointment she had in me, I’d made my decision. I was going to protect myself at all costs.
Finally, she turned around. "This isn’t for me to tell, but because you are so hardheaded, I'm going to do it. The reason she is showing before I did is because she's having twins. There are two babies that you made growing inside her. Are you really willing to walk away from that? Are you really going to sign papers in which you tell the world that legally, you're not their father when you are?"
I couldn't imagine that the disappointment she had in me could be even worse, but as she finished speaking, I could see that she was losing respect for me, and that hurt deeply.
And then it hit me. "Twins?"
"Yes. She would've told you if you hadn’t been such a jerk."
The feelings in my chest started to rise again, but I was too much of a coward to be swept away by them. "That still doesn't mean they’re mine. I have no way of knowing—"
"Then get a DNA test." She threw her arms up in exasperation. "I love you, James, and I always will, but I don't know you at all if you’re the type of man who so badly doesn't want to be a father that he's willing to sign away that possibility."
Her words struck me right where she wanted them to, in the center of my chest.
She sighed. "I know you love her. And I know it terrifies you. What should terrify you more is living the rest of your life without having a woman who loves you and kids who adore you."
The urge to give in to all the feelings was acute. But in the end, the fear won over. I walked around her. "I'm sorry to disappoint you. And considering all that Reyna has done for me, I am happy to provide any extra support that she may need."