"But when he was using, he was mean."
I remembered back to my wedding day, when she'd hinted at concern that James’s moodiness meant he could be violent.
Tears welled in her eyes, but she fought to hold them back. I got the feeling she was tired of crying over this guy.
"He wouldn't get help. So, I left. When I graduated, I traveled the world." She laughed, but it was sad. "My parents think I was off having grand adventures, and I was, but they didn't know it was to get away from him. To forget him."
I reached out and put my hand over hers. "And now he's back?"
She nodded. "He says he's changed. Says he went to rehab. We talked on the phone a few times, and he sounds like the guy I used to know. The one I fell for."
"You don't trust that he's changed?" It was interesting how much our lives paralleled each other. I didn’t think I could trust Dean, either.
"Even if he has changed now, addiction doesn't just go away. What happens if he has a relapse? Someday, I want to be married and have kids and not worry every day whether my husband is going to fall off the wagon and become abusive to us, you know?"
I nodded. Compared to my worry that Dean would cheat again, her concerns were greater than mine.
"What are you going to do?" I asked.
"I don't know."
"The man who cheated on me the day before I was supposed to marry him recently called me and groveled. He asked me for another chance."
"Really? What did you say?" Then she shook her head. "He's too late, though. You're already married.”
"He told me there was nothing that happened in the last few months that can be undone. The thing is that like you, I loved him, or at least I thought I did. I had envisioned a whole life together. It's a life that I know I won't have with James even if I wanted to, which I don't."
She smirked at me. "You can't be that much in love with your ex if you're now sleeping with your husband."
I laughed because it sounded funny. "Yes. My question to you is what would you advise me? I suspect that whatever you would suggest I do is what you should do regarding your ex."
She shook her finger at me. "You're sneaky. And clever." She sat back, and the tension in her expression lessened. "That helps me, Reyna. Thank you."
It was interesting how easy it was to help other people get their life sorted, but when it came to my own, I didn't know what the hell to do. The not knowing was wreaking havoc with my health because a week later, I was still exhausted and still getting sick.
I needed to go to the doctor. When I looked at my calendar for a possible date, I realized that a certain monthly visitor hadn't arrived.
Oh, God. Could I be pregnant?
It didn't seem possible because I'd been on the pill. I took that thing religiously every day. Well, usually. I had missed one and taken another one late during our marriage and honeymoon, but that couldn’t lead to a pregnancy...
Could it?
The next morning, when I stared down at the two blue lines on the pregnancy stick I'd snuck into the house the day before, I realized it could.
I was pregnant.
CHAPTERSEVENTEEN
James
I felt like I could do no wrong. Like there was no way I was going to fail in taking the reins of the company and cutting George Keyes’s power off at the knees. I couldn't ever remember feeling so confident and strong in my life. I knew I had to give some of that credit to Reyna. The work she was doing for me in secret was giving me a windfall of information. Some of it was dirt or just observations on George and other members of the board. But other things were insights about what had been going on in the company prior to my father's incarceration and what we were doing now.
Maybe my feelings were helped by the fact that Reyna and I were getting along. She helped with the tension the day would bring by fucking my brains out nearly every night. Although lately, she'd been tired, and I wondered if perhaps the stress of what we were doing was taking a toll on her. She assured me that everything was fine, and I had no choice but to believe her.
I felt so confident in my goals that I arranged for another business trip in hopes of generating business outside of Las Vegas. If Reyna was getting tired of being cooped up at home all the time, maybe a trip would perk her up. And of course, it would serve double-duty in her making me look like I was a stable, settled businessman.
I had scheduled meetings in Arizona thinking that since it was late February and cool here in Las Vegas, Reyna might like the warmth of the desert. Maybe I’d get a chance to see her in her bikini again.