But maybe there’s time for alittle morethan a hot shower…
Honestly, nothing can ruin my mood right now. It's April first and spring has officially sprung here in Home, WA. It's beautiful out and it makes my plans for my upcoming birthday week all that much sweeter. I cannot wait to get to the lake house. My birthday gift to myself is several days of nothing but reading and relaxing, completely unplugged.
Peeling the workout clothes from my body, I bite my bottom lip. Then I pull open the drawer of my bathroom cabinet and reach for a waterproof vibrator.
Licking my lips I remember that it’s my early-birthday dinner tonight. I deserve a little treat to get it started. Who cares if I'm a little late for family dinner? I never throw caution to the wind. Heck, maybe that's my problem. Maybe that's why I haven't fallen in love. I'm 23 years old and a virgin.
After stepping into the steaming shower I turn on my battery operated boy toy, letting it hum between my legs as the warm water rolls over my shoulders. I close my eyes imagining my latest alpha hero in the romance novel I've been reading. I always have half a dozen new releases downloaded on my tablet, and last night’s late-night read gives me plenty of inspiration.
Chiseled, muscular, a man with capable strong hands, cupping my breasts. A mouth between my legs, licking me, touching me, making me wet.Making me come.
I lift my foot to the edge of the tub, making way for the vibrator to gain entrance. I press it deep inside myself, letting it move and I turn up the speed, maneuvering the device against my clit as I begin to pleasure myself in the way I surely deserve. I'm not going to withhold myself from any amount of fun right now.
It's easy to imagine my ideal man.
God knows I've spent enough hours alone thinking about what it would be like to be in love --to be loved.
My family may think I'm sour. All sorts of prissy, a prude. Frigid is a word I've heard a few times. But I'm none of those things.
I just don't let my guard down around my family because they are rough around the edges. And I know that if I'm soft, they’ll eat me alive.
I've got to be ready to fight.
If I was to meet the right man for me, he would be my protector. The kind of man who would let me drop my guard. Let me relax. Assuring me that my true colors are just fine.
Of course that man does not exist in Home, Washington.
My brothers are determined to scare any man away from me, telling themselves that no guy is good enough.
Andthatthought has me all dried up. Any chance of an orgasm has left the building.
Groaning, I turn off the vibrator and finish showering.
Thoughts of my brothers ruin any mood real fast. Especially since I know Mac and Graham, my two younger brothers saw my vibrator in my bathroom when they were here helping fix a leaky pipe last month. I’m mortified beyond belief at their discovery and they’ve made comments that I need a husbandreally bad, ever since.
I finish washing my hair and body before stepping out of the shower, annoyed that I didn't stay focused on my alpha hero and instead let my mind wander back to reality.
It’s probably for the best. I need to get up the mountain to my parents house.
All that talk of being late is false bravado. I care what my whole family thinks and I don't want to let any of them down.
I've made it my life’s mission to be the good daughter, the one who's always there, taking care of everyone, stepping in. For the most part, I love that role.
But sometimes, as I'm getting a little bit older, I wonder if that choice has meant a sacrifice I didn't realize at the time. A choice that cost me love.
***
I don’t expect any big birthday celebration tonight because Mom and Fig are headed to Seattle tomorrow to catch a plane to California for Fig’s spring break trip.
My little sister is a senior in high school this year. And this trip is something she's been planning for a few months with my mom.
When I walk inside my parents house, I can't help but grin. Someone has put up streamers and a banner that says Happy Birthday Lemon.
In the kitchen, I see Mom has made my annual birthday treat: a lemon tart, with fresh raspberries and whipped cream.
I smile, taking in the bouquet of tulips, my favorite flowers. My birthday is not for another two days but since we won't be together on my actual birth date, I appreciate everyone putting this effort together for me now.
“You didn't think we were going to go to any trouble, did you?” Mom asks, as she wipes her hands on a kitchen towel, walking over to me.