But I also know the last thing I'm going to do is hold that girl back. I love her way too much to do that.
And the moment she tells me what she needs and what she expects of me, I realize that I made a promise to her to protect her, to love her, to do my part and be the man she needs.
I pull out my phone. “Dad?” I say when he answers. “I need to see you. The whole family. Now.”
“Where?” my father asks.
“Up at Rickshaw Ridge.”
* * *
I lockmy cabin and get in my pickup truck, knowing that this is where the road ends for me. The secrets I've kept buried, thinking they're meant to protect, have only brought me more pain.
Prairie deserves more than heartache. She deserves love, light, the whole damn world, and if I’m gonna give that to her, then I need to set these demons to rest.
I drive up there with tears in my eyes. Remembering Luke, the man he was. He was a fun motherfucker, always up for a good time, a laugh.
I wish I knew what he used all that money for. Damn, I hope it gave him some peace, some sort of pleasure, because he died for that money.
I park my truck and get out, setting a lantern on the hood. Sitting next to it, I wait for my family to arrive. They come up in two cars, my dad's old Jeep Wagoneer and
Graham’s SUV. When they get out of the cars, I see them with tears in their eyes and fear written across their faces. They're scared.
“What are you doing up here?” Dad says, walking toward me. “Don't tell me you're doing something stupid.”
“No,” I say. “I'm not doing anything stupid. Shit, no, that's not why I brought you here. But I did bring you here for a reason.” I meet Rueben’s eyes. “Your girl okay?”
He nods. “I took Plum to Grandma Rosie's house.”
“Good,” I say. I look at Bartlett, Lemon, Graham, Rueben, Mac, Fig. Dad and Mom are holding one another tight, and they're all looking at me like I've just about cracked their life in two.
“Look, I'm not trying to be dramatic, though I know bringing you up here at nine o'clock at night is pretty fucking dramatic.”
“Yes, it is. So what are you doing?” Fig asks. “You're scaring all of us.”
“I knew if I didn’t bring you here, where it happened, I would chicken out. And I need to come clean,” I say. “The truth is…” I shake my head. “A week or so ago at family dinner you asked me why I was so mad. You want to know what was putting me in such a piss-poor mood all this time, right?”
“Yeah,” Lemon says, “because we love you. We want to understand you. You're making it really hard though, Rye.” She blinks back tears and I step toward her, pulling my little sister into a hug.
“I'm sorry I haven't been the big brother you need. I know things aren't easy for you. And you're carrying this load on your shoulders. Hell, I'm not being the big brotheranyof you need. I've pulled away and pulled back and that's not okay. I get that now. Prairie helped me see the light.”
“Your girl told you to come up here like this and say something?” Mac asks.
I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “Something like that. She talked some sense into me.”
“All right, then,” Mac says, crossing his arms. “Then tell us what you brought us up here to say.”
“It's about Luke,” I say.
At that, my father clears his throat. “Luke?” he asks.
“Yeah. It’s about Uncle Luke.” I tell them the truth of the story, the black and white of it. Beginning to end, just like I told Prairie an hour before.
I tell them how I was scared to bring up to Luke what I had discovered about his embezzlement that day in the bar but I knew I needed to let him know I knew what was going on.
I tell my dad about the shame in Luke’s eyes. How that was the last thing I was looking to cause—that I wanted to help him.
I tell them how he had a clear mind. Being drunk wasn’t the issue. It was the embarrassment of the whole thing that brought him up here to Rickshaw Ridge.