“I feel like you’re trying to sabotage this before it’s even started,” he tells me.
“Wow, so you can see through my bullshit real fast,” I say, dropping my face in my hands and rolling out of his lap. I stand on his wool rug, looking around for a robe to cover my naked body. I feel exposed, vulnerable, and stupid all at the same time.
He gets out of bed and hands me a flannel bathrobe that’s hanging on the back of his door. “Here,” he says, “put this on.”
He pulls on a pair of gray sweats, which, okay, he looks freaking incredible in. His cock is still hard and he looks like my horniest dreams ever.
“How about we have a drink,” he says. “I think the orgasm is messing with your mind.”
“Ha ha,” I say dryly. Though maybe he’s onto something. He gave me a mind-blowing orgasm and I immediately tried to run away. Am I scared to feel that good more than once?
“Do you like chamomile or peppermint tea better?”
“Chamomile,” I tell him. “And can I tell you how charming I find it that you’re offering me tea instead of whiskey or vodka?”
“I’m not gonna get you drunk before I get you back in bed.”
“Oh, so you’re planning on getting me back in bed tonight?”
“Yeah,” he says, wrapping his arms around me, lifting me up and carrying me into the kitchen. He sets me down on the counter and then he kisses me. Hard.
I open up. “Maybe I was trying to push you away before you had a chance to break my heart or something.”
“Wow, so you think I’m heartbreak material?”
I bite my bottom lip. “You want me to be honest?”
“Brutally.” Bartlett sets the tea kettle on his stove and finds two ceramic mugs, placing tea bags in them.
“I think you’re the epitome of heartbreak material. I wasn't lying when I said all those nice things about you. You are handsome and kind and wonderful in ways I’ve never experienced before. Your family is lovely and your home is beautiful and–” Bartlett presses his lips to mine, kissing me hard, taking my breath away.
I wrap my arms around his neck, laughing against his mouth. “I guess that’s one way to shut me up.”
“That wasn’t what I was trying to do. I just wanted to kiss you because fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever had a woman say such nice things about me.”
“I guess after I said all those things I immediately wondered why exactly I was pushing you away…” I laugh, shaking my head.
Bartlett’s hungry eyes run over my body as the robe falls off my shoulder, exposing most of my breasts.
“I don’t have to go anywhere,” Bartlett tells me. “I’m right here, Abby. If you want to go back to the bedroom, I can turn off the kettle. Screw the tea and you can screw me instead.”
This man really turns me on. His humor, his lack of pretense, the way he makes me feel like I don’t have to look for the other shoe to drop. Even though I just met him, I feel like if I were going to fall, he’d catch me. Hijinx barks as he wanders into the kitchen. “I guess he woke up from his evening nap.”
“You think he’s hungry? We still have that bag of dog food from the hardware store.”
We fill up a bowl for Hijinx, and after we let him out to go potty in the yard and bring him back inside, he snuggles up by the fireplace. Even though there isn’t a fire blazing, he seems to realize that’s the perfect place for a dog to sleep.
And with that, Bartlett takes my hand in his and leads me back to the bedroom.
This time I don’t push him away; I don’t let my insecurities about what might come next force me to miss out on what comes now. Because right now the bathrobe goes on the floor and his sweats are discarded.
What comes now is Bartlett running his hands all over my naked body as I begin to stroke his length up and down, up and down.
I kiss his chest, running my hand over his muscles, his ladder of abs. He is pure man. He is made out of God's green earth and being with him makes me feel alive in a way I haven’t before. I know I haven’t been a caged bird, but I felt trapped all my life.
I walked a tightrope and not just figuratively. I’ve been doing exactly as I was told for 21 years, performing not just for my parents but for everyone who came to our shows. None of it was because I asked for it. I was a product and I never wanted to be.
I want this. I want Bartlett. Now.