“As much as I can’t wait to see her, I did purposely plan this for tonight. I needed to be alone with you before I saw her.”
Hannah frowned, pulling her hand out of Kirsty’s. “No, Kirsty. I’m not doing this. You left me, and whatever the reason for it, you still left. You didn’t even call me. I wondered where the hell you’d gone, and I didn’t know how to find you. You deleted your social media, and I’d never gone home with you. I couldn’t seek you out. But then I realised that was probably your plan all along. Because if I’d meant so much to you, I’d have been with you all those times when you visited your parents.”
“No, not at all. It was never like that. I love you, Hannah. I leftbecauseI love you.”
Hannah studied every inch of Kirsty’s face, concern for her ex-girlfriend at the forefront of her mind. “Kirsty, are you okay?”
“I am now that I’m here.”
“No, I mean…are you okay?”
Kirsty lowered herself into a chair at the table, puffing out her cheeks. “It’s been really hard—I have no issues admitting that. But it also gave me a chance to be with Mum and do anything she needed. Even if I went to my old bedroom every night and drank myself stupid, I was with her every day.”
“Kirsty,” Hannah paused, blowing out a breath. “I understand that you’ve had a difficult time, and I’m so sorry you’ve gone through all of that, but I don’t understand why you’re here and sitting in my kitchen.”
“I…asked you to marry me.” Kirsty lifted her gaze slowly, finding Hannah’s eyes.
“Yeah, you did.”
“And that still stands.” Kirsty’s eyes showed no signs of hesitation. The way she was looking at Hannah, she meant every word. “I want to be your wife. I’d sat at home wondering if I could go through with a wedding if Mum wasn’t around, but I know what she’d want. She’d want me to be happy. And you and Edie make me so happy. S-since she’s stable at the minute, maybe she could even make it to the wedding if we start planning it now.”
Hannah felt her world caving in at those words. How could Kirsty be sitting here saying these things…when Caroline was due any moment.
Fuck. Caroline!
“I…need you to leave, Kirsty.”
Kirsty looked around the kitchen, eyeing the oven. This woman had actually shown up and helped herself to Hannah’s kitchen. Something definitely wasn’t right. Kirsty…needed help.
“But dinner is in the oven.”
God. How was Hannah supposed to let her down gently? How could she be the bitch she knew she’d have to be to make Kirsty understand? Her poor mother had a brain tumour, and Hannah was about to kick her out. “We’re…not having dinner together. Not now, and not in the future.”
“But why?” Kirsty’s bottom lip trembled as she shook her head. “Before I left, we were in love. You can’t have just fallen out of love with me.”
Hannah took a step forward, holding Kirsty’s hands in her own. She offered her a weak smile. “We were. You’re right. But you left with no regard for how I’d feel. I know you’ve explained why you left, but it’s not good enough for me. Your reasons…aren’t really acceptable reasons. If you’d left me a note or called when you’d got there, I would have understood. But I had to lie in bed with my daughter at night and try to explain why you’d gone. She questioned whether it was her fault. She asked if you hated us. I’m not going through that again, Kirsty. I’m happy now.”
Kirsty wiped a tear from her jaw. “How can you be happy alone? You hate being alone.”
Hannah exhaled a breath, squeezing Kirsty’s hand. “I’m not alone. I’ve met someone, and I’m happy. Edie is happy. If you really cared about us, you’d understand that and walk away. Just like you did not too long ago.”
Kirsty grimaced, and then her features turned to disgust. “You’ve met someone? So, you’ve cheated on me. That’s what you’re saying?”
“Cheated on you?” Hannah barked a laugh as she allowed those words, that accusation, to sink in. “No, Kirsty. You left me. We’re not together anymore. And whatever you’re going through, it doesn’t give you the right to treat me how you did. I deserve better than that. That may be hard to hear, and you may think I’d just wait around for you, but why would I do that? I didn’t think you were coming back.” Hannah stepped away, lowering Kirsty’s hand. “And even if you had come back, I’d have still had this same conversation with you whether I was involved or not. You can’t treat people like that and expect them to sit at home pining after you. Life doesn’t work that way.”
“Well, thanks!”
Hannah wasn’t doing this any longer. Kirsty really did need to go. Even if Caroline wasn’t due here, Hannah was still done with this entire conversation. “Get yourself together. You’ve got ten minutes, and then you need to be gone.”
* * *
“Yes,I’m just walking through the door now. I’ll see what Hannah wants to do, but don’t expect us. I think we’re having a weekend in together.”
“Caz. Come on.”
Caroline groaned. She loved Brenda and Sharon dearly, but the thought of putting on a pair of heels again tonight had dread sinking deep into her stomach. She just wanted to see Hannah and lock the door. It surely couldn’t be hard for people to understand. “Hannah’s had a busy week at work. But let me ask and see what’s what.”
Caroline turned the key in the lock, smiling when the scent of Hannah’s home enveloped her. She’d missed coming over through the week. It was just a shame Edie was at her dad’s and wouldn’t be joining them tonight.