Brenda frowned as she lowered her cup. “Then why are we having this conversation?”
“I don’t know. So you can tell me what I should do?”
“Oh, Caz. Only you know what you want to do. You’ve spent so long being guided by…her, but now you’re free to live your life on your terms. Do that, sweetie. And I’ll support you all the way.”
“There’s another thing,” Caroline said, gripping her cup tight. “Hannah’s daughter is a pupil at the school.”
“So?”
“So, if this all goes wrong, I’d hate for it to affect Edie.”
“Edie Caffrey? Your star pupil?”
Caroline smiled. Edie always brightened her day the moment she walked into the classroom. She was often the first to line up outside her form class, the first to put up her hand to answer a question, and the first to help another student. Hannah should be happy with the knowledge that her daughter was one of the kindest, most compassionate children at the school. “Yes. Edie Caffrey.”
“Well, this is like a match made in heaven if you ask me.”
“It…is?”
“The mother loves you, the kid loves you…you just have to love yourself enough to make the right decision. I can see how torn you are, Caz. But this is your chance to be happy. She’s the first woman since Naomi, right?”
“Right.”
“And why is she the right one for you? Why, two years on, have you put yourself on the line for her?”
“Because the connection is…it’s consuming. I feel like an entirely different person when I’m with her. She doesn’t pressure, she doesn’t demand, she’s just there…making me smile. And she has a great personality. Considering she was once paid to look good with other women, she’s quiet and unassuming. I really like that about her.”
“Caz,” Brenda paused, reaching across the table and taking Caroline’s hand. “Please, for the love of God, try again with her.”
“I blew it on Monday. I said something awful to her, but I didn’t mean it how it came out. Her new boss is an old client. I made a comment about still getting the benefits she once did, and she assumed I meant they were sleeping together. When really, I purely meant that she was lucky enough to still be seeing and spending time with Hannah. Probably having working lunches with one another. Something I wish I had with her. Not this fucking woman she’s working for.”
“Jealousy. I’ve never seen that from you before. But it means you care.”
“Oh, Iamjealous. But what’s the point in feeling that way? Hannah has known about this job since we stopped seeing one another, and she chose not to tell me. I only found out because Edie was at school early on Monday, and she told me.”
“I don’t follow.”
“Hannah knew I couldn’t see her while she was still escorting. Not only because it wouldn’t feel right to me, but I wasn’t sure being her child’s teacherandher client was a good idea.”
“O…kay.”
“Well, this job surely didn’t just land in her lap last Sunday evening. She must have known about it. If she wanted to see me again, she would have called me. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just overthinking it all.”
“Maybe you are, but I can understand what you’re saying.” Brenda regarded Caroline with a sympathetic smile. “You’ve had no contact at all?”
“Not since she turned up here the afternoon after we’d spent the night together.” Caroline hadn’t known what to do in that moment. Women didn’t bring her flowers, and they certainly didn’t tell Caroline they were proud of her. “She brought me a beautiful arrangement of orange roses.”
Brenda slid her phone from her pocket, narrowing her eyes as she typed on the screen. “Hmm. Orange roses signify pride.”
“I know. She told me she was proud of me.” Caroline’s voice broke as she spoke those words. She still couldn’t believe just how perfect Hannah was. “When we saw one another today, she said she hoped I’d call her. And I know I should have, but I couldn’t when I knew it wouldn’t change anything. It’s been a few days since I found out she has a new job, and now that I know, it only makes me want her so much more.”
“Then you know what you have to do.”
Caroline swallowed. “W-what?”
“Make amends, Caz.”
* * *