Sometimes Caroline wantedto improve her social and love life, sometimes she wanted to be the woman she once was, but today was not one of those times. That date she was supposed to have on Monday…well, it didn’t happen. She hadn’t stood her up—that wasn’t the kind of woman Caroline was—but she had sent a message explaining that she’d been held up at work and wouldn’t make it to the restaurant. Gail hadn’t contacted her to ask why it never went ahead, and Caroline was hoping she wouldn’t do so in the near future.
Seeing Hannah on Monday had thrown her completely. While Caroline hadn’t quite known how she’d react to seeing Hannah again, she imagined it may have ended better than it had. It hadn’t been her intention to offend Hannah when they spoke about Juliet. God, it really hadn’t. But Caroline had done so, and now she had to live with that. Hannah, beautiful and intelligent Hannah, deserved better than that.
Swallowing down her emotion, Caroline shot to her feet when the doorbell rang. She’d invited Brenda over. It appeared she needed someone to speak to now that Hannah had a new job. Gail would only tell Caroline to go for it. Joy would try to deter her. So Brenda was perfect for this. She had no reason to sway Caroline at all.
She approached the door and cleared her throat. How would Brenda react to the news that Caroline had been paying for an escort? She opened the door, knowing she was about to find out. “Hi. Come in.”
“How was the date?” Brenda strode through the door, turning as she reached the living room.
“It…didn’t go ahead.”
Brenda’s brows drew together. “Oh. Is everything okay?”
“Of course. I wondered if I could run something by you. I know I was vague on the phone earlier, but I didn’t want to get into it too much.”
Brenda shed her coat, hanging it up in the hallway. As she smiled, Caroline exhaled a breath. Thank God she had someone to talk to. “Come on. You look like you really need a friend tonight.”
Caroline wouldn’t argue with that. She absolutely needed a friend.
“So, what’s going on?”
“Come into the kitchen. I’ll put the kettle on.” Caroline busied herself, trying to shake the anxiety from her. Brenda wasn’t a judgemental person. Caroline had never once been given the impression that she would be disappointed. “So, you met Hannah last month…”
“Ah. Your friend…that’s not really your friend.” Brenda winked, leaning against the counter as Caroline prepared two cups of tea. “How is she?”
“She’s good, I think. At least, she appeared to be when I bumped into her on Monday. But we’re not friends. We’re not…anything.”
“Caz, sweetie, I know you feel as though you’re not in a place where you can find a relationship, but you don’t have to lie to me. I want you to be happy.”
“No, it’s true. We’re not anything right now. And I’m not sure we ever will be.” Caroline placed two cups on the dining table, pulling out a seat for Brenda. They sat facing one another, but Caroline felt distant from everyone and everything lately. “It’s complicated.”
“But does it really need to be?”
“It’s been complicated from the start, but now…no, it doesn’t need to be.” Caroline dragged a hand through her hair, sighing. “I think I’ve missed my chance, though. Which isn’t really surprising given the fact I don’t know how to even behave around women anymore, but I would have liked to have made amends.”
“You’ve fallen out.” Brenda nodded, lifting her cup of tea.
“Can I be completely honest with you…no judgement?”
Brenda cocked her head. “Caz, we’ve been friends for a long time. You know you can talk to me about anything. We may not have known how dreadful life was for you during your marriage, but I want you to know we would have been there for you then, too.”
Caroline bypassed the comment Brenda was making regarding Naomi. She was the least of her worries right now. “Hannah is…was…an escort. That’s how we met.”
“Oh.” Brenda’s brows shot up, but a slight smirk was present on her lips.
“I know, I know. It was a ridiculous thing to do. Gail pushed me into it, and while it was really lovely getting to know Hannah, I couldn’t take it any further.”
“So, you didn’t go home with her that night after the bar?”
“Oh, I did. She stayed over, but nothing really happened. Then the following morning, she had to leave because a client had booked her…”
“Ah. I see your issue.”
“It was always going to be difficult, but since that night, she’s all I think about. I cannot get her off my mind. Still.” Caroline clasped her hands under her chin.
“Still what? You clearly want to see Hannah again, Caz. And from what I remember, you couldn’t keep your eyes off one another at the bar. If she makes you feel that way after everything you’ve been through, why not give it a chance? And I know. Believe me, I know how difficult it must seem when you think about her being an escort, but that’s just a job…and quite frankly, life is too bloody short to worry about that stuff.”
“That’s the thing. She’s not an escort anymore. She’s working for one of the best law firms around now.”