“Do you stay with all your clients when they’re having a moment?” Caroline scoffed, wiping a tear from her jawline. “I should have known. If I hadn’t convinced myself last night to bring you here, that everything you said…meant more, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. I wouldn’t have to think about who you’re going to be with when you walk out my door.”
Hannah crouched down in front of Caroline, dipping her head to meet Caroline’s eyes. “Hey. Itdidmean more. You just…God, you’ve no idea how good it felt just being with you last night, Caz. If I didn’t have to go to work, I wouldn’t be leaving right now. And deep down, you know that.”
Caroline feathered her fingertips across Hannah’s cheek, smiling with tears in her eyes. “I never got the chance to touch you,” she whispered into the silence of the room. “I never had the opportunity to lie with you and look at you and kiss you for longer than we did.”
Hannah wanted there to be more opportunities for that to happen. Sheneededit to happen.
“You made me feel so very special last night. Nobody has ever taken so much care. Nobody has ever made me feel how you did.” Caroline leaned forward, whimpering as she kissed Hannah softly and then pulled back. “But you have a job to do, and I…well, I can’t continue this with you.”
“Caz.”
“I’ve spent my life being second best. I had a marriage from hell while my wife was out there sleeping with whoever she pleased. I can’t go through that again. Not with you. I’m sorry.”
“I-I’m not sleeping with them,” Hannah said, frowning. “Please give me a chance, Caz.”
Caroline dropped her hand and got to her feet, stepping away from Hannah. “You should go. My sister will probably be here soon, and I don’t really want to have to explain all of this to her.”
“Fuck,” Hannah muttered as she stood up, her entire body heavy. “I mean, that’s it? You’re not willing to give me the benefit of the doubt?”
“I’ve been there and done that. And now look at the state of me.” Caroline turned her back, staring out of her bedroom window. “I had my chance to find a happy ending a long time ago, Hannah. It ended in tears. I think I’m finally done once and for all.”
“Can I come by this evening, and we’ll talk?”
Caroline shook her head. “I won’t be available. And I’m sure you’ll be wined and dined tonight by one of your clients, so have a wonderful night.”
“I’ll cancel.”
“No, you won’t. We both know that you won’t.”
Hannah stared at Caroline’s back. If she wanted to be happy, she would have to quit the agency. But in doing so, it would leave Hannah with nothing. She couldn’t do it until she found something else to keep her going. But…would Caroline be willing to wait?
“Please leave, Hannah.”
Hannah simply nodded; her phone gripped against her chest. “Right. Well, take care of yourself, Caz.”
“Yeah, you too.”
Hannah turned and stumbled from Caroline’s bedroom, grabbing her heels from the landing as she rushed down the stairs. As she’d delighted in Caroline moaning beneath her last night from a single kiss, she hadn’t expected this. And of course Caroline would never be expected to just deal with her being an escort, but Hannah had truly believed they could figure it out at a later date. After all, she did bring Hannah back here last night, knowing exactly who she was.
With decisions to make at the back of her mind, and Juliet waiting on a response from Hannah, she sloped out of Caroline’s door and exhaled a shaky breath. Her life was falling apart.
And all because of a job she never wanted but never would have met Caroline without.
Chapter11
Caroline fell downinto a seat in Joy’s office, delighting in the aroma of strong coffee as it wafted towards her. Joy knew something was going on, she’d been looking at Caroline funny since the moment she stepped through the doors to the café, but Caroline wasn’t sure she had the strength to discuss it today. From the moment Hannah had left this morning, Caroline had felt dreadful.
It wasn’t a hangover, she hadn’t drunk as much as she’d anticipated last night, but everything felt hopeless when she considered the possibility of pursuing something with Hannah. She couldn’t be the other woman, even if Hannah’s job was purely business. Caroline meant it when she told Hannah she’d always been second best because it was true. To prevent that from being the case ever again, Caroline was fully prepared to shut down when it came to love. She couldn’t stand the thought of being walked all over again, and if she gave Hannah the benefit of the doubt, Caroline suspected it would happen sooner rather than later.
“Okay, what’s going on?” Joy closed her office door, pulling her long dark hair up into a ponytail. She was three years younger than Caroline, but they’d always been ridiculously close. Factor in the likeness of one another, and many people had mistaken them for twins. “You seem jumpy and…hesitant.”
“I’m fine. Just a late night.”
Joy looked pointedly at Caroline. “Caz, I know when you’re lying.”
“I…bumped into Naomi last night at Rox’s bar.”
Joy almost choked on her coffee as she sipped it. “You’re joking!”