Staring at one another.
Neither sure of what the other expected.
“Are you okay?” Hannah reached out a hand, lacing her fingers with Caroline’s. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, Caz.”
God, when Hannah said things like that, it only made Caroline want her more. She tugged Hannah closer, their bodies colliding. “Truthfully, I don’t know what I want. But I know with certainty that I’m happy you’re here.”
Hannah beamed a smile, lifting a hand and cupping Caroline’s cheek. Her touch was light, not intrusive at all, the perfect pressure applied by her palm.
If nothing else, Hannah made Caroline feel safe.
“You have the softest hands,” Caroline whispered, her eyes closing as she leaned into Hannah’s touch.
And then Hannah kissed her unexpectedly, those lips so full and filled with a hope Caroline hadn’t expected to feel again in her lifetime. She opened her eyes, gripping Hannah’s upper arm, pressing their foreheads together. Nothing about this woman was troubling. Well, nothing except for her job.
Caroline couldn’t think about that tonight, though. If she did, she wouldn’t go through with anything she hoped for this evening. Yes, Hannah was an escort, but tonight she was here as herself.
But how will you feel tomorrow when she meets a client?
Caroline lowered her chin to her chest, blowing out a breath as she willed her thoughts to shift to the back of her mind. She wanted this, no…sheneededthis with Hannah.
She guided Hannah towards the bedroom, Caroline’s back connecting with the doorframe as she stopped and took in the woman she was about to spend the night with. Caroline wasn’t sure how impressed Hannah would be, it’d been so long since she’d had sex, but thinking about it was only making Caroline more anxious. And she didn’t need that tonight. She’d spent too many years of her life feeling anxious. Or like she wasn’t enough. A failure.
But Hannah never made her feel like that.
“Come with me,” Hannah spoke so low that Caroline wondered if she’d actually said anything at all.
And then she found herself being pulled into her bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. The sad thing about all of this was that it felt totally foreign to her. Being with another woman, having someone look at her like they wanted her, arousal. It had all become foreign, but Caroline had once been a fun-loving, carefree woman who enjoyed life to the fullest.
How the hell had she ended up here? Sitting on the edge of her bed, frightened to breathe.
Hannah took a seat beside Caroline, brushing Caroline’s hair from her face. When those blue eyes softened further, Caroline held her breath. “Caz.”
“Y-yeah?”
“You…don’t want this. Not really.”
Wait, what?Was Hannah backing out? Caroline lowered her gaze between them, to the hands holding her own. Of course Hannah was backing out. Why would she want to sleep with Caroline? Boring, lifeless Caroline. “I…it’s okay.” Caroline slipped her hands out from under Hannah’s, smiling weakly. “Really, it’s okay. I understand.”
“Understand what?” Hannah looked back at Caroline, confused.
Caroline got to her feet, pulling her shoulders back as she wiped a tear from her jaw. She turned back to Hannah, putting on her best smile. “Can I call you a cab?”
“Caz, wait.” Hannah joined her in the middle of the room, so close that Caroline could feel her body heat. Right now, that wasn’t good. Because all she really wanted to do was feel Hannah against her. But then Caroline knew deep down that she wasn’t ready for this. It may have been two years since her divorce, but she wasn’t ready to be with another woman yet. “I want to, believe me I do…but not like this. Not so quickly. You deserve better than that.”
Caroline relaxed at those words, but only ever so slightly. Hannah was being sweet and respectful, but there had to be a deeper reason as to why Hannah had suddenly decided she didn’t want this. Back at the club when they’d been waiting for a cab, she seemed more than ready. “Like I said, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything to me, Hannah.”
“I do. Because I don’t want you to think I’m having second thoughts. I mean, I am,” Hannah explained, taking Caroline’s hand again. “But not because I don’t want you. Ireallydo. I just…I’d rather do this properly. Not on a whim because of what happened back at the club earlier. I may not know you very well, but you mean more to me than that.”
Caroline could cry, but she refrained from doing so. Hannah likely already saw her as weak; to add fuel tothatfire would be a mistake. “I appreciate that.”
“And I don’t want you to call me a cab. I want to stay a while. To just be with you. Can I do that?”
“I…yes.” Caroline’s brow furrowed. Hannah wanted to spend time with her? And without being paid? This felt entirely strange to Caroline. “If that’s what you really want.”
Hannah smiled, pressing her body to Caroline’s. That heat roared through her again, her hands tingling as Hannah moved into a slow, lingering kiss. “It’s really what I want. Kissing you…is something beautiful.” Caroline trembled at that. Hannah…God, she was divine in every sense of the word. Hannah touched her forehead to Caroline’s, stroking a thumb across her cheek. “Okay?”
“O-okay.”