Faye shoved her hands in her coat pocket. “No. I’d better not. I can’t stay long.”
“O-oh.”
“I’m only here because Talia encouraged me to,” Faye said, leaning back against the dining table. “Because that’s the kind of person she is. Sweet…genuine. She has a heart of gold.”
Phoebe cast her eyes on the floor.
“What you did to her, tous, is something I’m not sure I can forgive, Phoebe. You always claimed you wanted me to be happy, that you had my back when it came to love and relationships, so what the hell was that?”
“I’m so sorry, Faye. It means nothing to you, but I am.”
“You’re right. It doesn’t mean a thing to me. Not anymore. You were supposed to be my friend. Christ, we practically lived together at one time. But I never for one moment thought you’d turn out to be someone spiteful, someone who went out of their way to hurt others. I…don’t understand.”
“Honestly, I don’t either.” Phoebe puffed out her cheeks. “I was jealous. Of you and Talia…ofjustTalia. Of what we didn’t have.”
“There was never a ‘we,’ Phoebe. There wasn’t a single second when I even contemplated it. Because I thought you were my friend.”
“I was. I am.”
Faye shook her head, the hint of a faint laugh present. “You’re not. If you were, you would have been honest with me, and then we could have figured it all out. But the things you’ve said about Talia, h-how you cornered her in her room…I can’t believe you’d be so cruel. Forcing yourself onto her like that…” Faye paused, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I can’t trust you around her anymore. And to be perfectly honest, I wouldn’texpecther to breathe the same air as you. She deserves better.”
“You’re right. She does. You both do.” The defeat in Phoebe’s eyes was strangely satisfying for Faye. She’d never been someone who went out of her way to hurt someone, but Phoebe deserved to feel terrible. And then Phoebe cleared her throat, smiling weakly. “Are you happy?”
“I’ve been happy from the moment I met her. I told you how much she meant to me, how hard it was for me to have her open up, but you repeatedly shit all over it!” Faye didn’t often get angry, she hated feeling out of control with her emotions, but Phoebe made it too easy lately. “I…don’t know where we go from here, but none of this is okay. I came by because Talia asked me to but seeing you again…I’m not sure I can stomach a friendship with you right now.”
Phoebe nodded. “I get that.”
“But do you? Is there anything inside of you that feels even slightly bad for what you’ve done?”
“Yes. And I can only apologise again, but as you said…it means nothing to you.” Phoebe slumped back against the kitchen counter, her bottom lip trembling. Faye would usually console her, tell her everything would be okay, but she had to stand her ground on this one. She’d given Phoebe far too much in this already. “I’ve been dreadful to you and Talia. Even Jenna cut me loose when she found out.”
“Jenna isn’t the right woman for you. Jesus, she was even too nice for me.”
Phoebe smiled weakly. “I never thought I’d see the day whenyoutoldmewho I shouldn’t be dating.”
“I don’t care who you date, that’s your own business, but maybe you need some time alone to deal with whatever the hell it is you’re going through. I want to be your friend, I really do, but at the moment…I can’t be that person for you.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to be.”
“Down the line…” Faye paused, dragging a hand through her hair. “I don’t know. Maybe we could go out for lunch or something.”
“I’d like that. But I’ll just wait until I hear from you.”
The decent side of Faye crept through as she scanned Phoebe’s apartment again. “Iseverything okay here?”
“Yeah. I’m just…not great at the minute.”
What did that even mean? “Not great?”
“I’ve made a complete mess of everything. I’m almost forty-one, I’m still single, and I lost my best friend because I had issues with who she was dating. If thatdidn’taffect me, I’d be worried.”
“You told Talia you were in love with me…”
Phoebe rolled her lips inward, exhaling a breath through her nose. “Honestly, I think I was in love with theideaof you. You’re everyone’s perfect woman, Faye. There’s not a single thing I hate about you. But losing you as a best friend wasn’t worth all the trouble I’ve caused. If I could take it all back, if I could kick myself repeatedly, I would. In a heartbeat.”
Faye smiled, nodding slowly. “I knew it wasn’t true. You’ve never even made a pass at me.”
“Perhaps that’s why. Because I knew it would be a mistake.”