Ruby chewed at her lower lip. ‘Are you going to at some point?’
‘I don’t know...maybe.’
‘He’ll probably end it before you get the chance,’ Harper said. ‘And that is going to hurt big time.’
‘I know,’ Aerin said on a heartfelt sigh.
Drake went on a stop-and-sniff-and-shuffle walk with Mutley after work. It was dark and cold and wet, but he had kind of got used to the old dog’s company over the last week. But the thing he most looked forward to was when Aerin came in from work. He loved waking up next to her in the morning. He loved going to sleep with her in his arms at night. He loved sharing a meal with her and chatting about the days’ events.
He loved...
He stopped as if he had slammed into an invisible wall. No. No. No. Love was not part of what he felt for Aerin. They were having a fling, an extended fling that was a little bit different from his usual ones. That didn’t mean he was falling in love. He had no intention of falling in love with her or anyone. Ever.
Drake was only just back from walking the dog when his phone rang. He glanced at the screen and saw it was Aerin. He ignored the little jump of his heart, the tick of his blood, the thrum of excitement at hearing her voice. ‘Hey, I thought you’d be home by now. Are you working late?’
‘No, but I have to drop by my flat to pick up some things. I didn’t bring much with me last week.’
‘I’ll swing by your office and take you.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Of course. We can grab a bite of dinner somewhere afterwards.’
There was a little silence.
‘Are you sure that’s a good idea? Us being seen dining out in public?’ Aerin asked. ‘What if it gets back to my family?’
Drake was starting to realise the clandestine nature of their fling was a little compromising for someone as upfront and honest as Aerin. She loved her family dearly, so lying to them about her involvement with him must be hurting her. But then, her family weren’t being completely honest with her either. Her brother Tom had met with him only the day before about seeking a divorce. It wasn’t something Drake was at liberty to talk to Aerin about. She had such rose-coloured glasses on when it came to relationships. It would crush her to find her brother was leaving his wife. But to Drake, it was only further confirmation that most relationships were doomed to fail one way or the other.
‘They’ll have to find out sooner or later,’ Drake said. ‘We can’t hide for ever.’
‘But we’re not going to be together for ever, are we?’
‘No, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go out to dinner like a normal couple.’ Drake was aware of the tension in his voice and tried to take a calming breath.
There was another beat or two of silence.
‘Drake, don’t bother to pick me up. I think I’ll stay at my flat tonight. I need some time to think about things. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.’
A pain seized him in the chest. A panicked feeling as if he was losing control of a situation he had thought was well under control. ‘If that’s what you want.’ It wasn’t what he wanted at all but he was not going to beg her to change her mind.
‘It’s what I need right now.’
You’re what I need right now. You’re everything I need.
The words were inside his mouth, but he couldn’t get them past the stiff line of his lips.
‘Drake?’
‘Yes.’ His voice was cold as the rain dripping down the back of his coat collar.
‘I thought you must have hung up on me.’
‘I have to go,’ Drake said. ‘Mutley needs his dinner.’ He ruthlessly clicked off his phone and shoved it in his pocket.
Aerin slipped her phone in her tote bag, distressed by the outcome of her conversation with Drake. But equally determined to spend a night at her flat to get her thoughts together, to get some perspective. Talking to Ruby and Harper had made her realise the trap she had fallen into. She was living in hope that Drake would fall in love with her. And yes, that had worked for her friends, but it didn’t mean it would work for her. She had always been an optimist, glass-half-full type of person but she was starting to see how deluded she was in thinking everything would magically work out.
Sometimes, tragically, it didn’t.