Aerin linked her arms around his neck. She had a compulsion of her own—to feel his arms around her, to feel his body move within her, to feel the magic of his lovemaking all over again. ‘Feel free.’
Drake rested his forehead on hers, his warm breath mingling with hers. ‘Are you sure you wouldn’t rather go outside and build a snowman or something?’ There was a playful note in his voice.
Aerin toyed with the thick strands of his hair at the back of his head, her gaze mesmerised by the glint in his. ‘Not right now. Or do you have a burning desire to make one before we even have breakfast?’
He smiled and a wave of heat coursed through her. ‘I only have a burning desire for you.’ And his mouth came down and proved it beyond a doubt.
Drake had lost count of the number of lovers he had had over the years, but he knew he would never forget this weekend with Aerin. How could he forget the sweet suppleness of her mouth? The soft shy touch of her hands on his naked skin? Her flowery fragrance that clung to his skin and dazzled his senses? The warm, wet, silky welcome of her body?
He was her first lover.
He couldn’t get that sentence, that inescapablefactout of his mind. Nothing could ever be the same between them after this weekend. He was fooling himself to think it could. He had no intention of letting anyone know about their fling, but he was concerned others would find out, such as Aerin’s friends. Or perhaps, her school friends would let something slip out on social media in spite of their promises not to. He didn’t want their fling to be gossip fodder. He loathed sensationalised journalism. He had suffered enough of that when his father destroyed his family. Drake had seen headlines and stories no fifteen-year-old kid should ever see, especially when it was his family that was referenced there. It was one of the reasons he changed his surname. He couldn’t bear the thought of anyone doing a search on him and reading about the worst event of his life.
But when he kissed Aerin, all of the dark shadows of his past melted away. She woke something in him that had been in a long cold hibernation. He could feel the tentative stirring in his chest, like the cramped limbs of a faceless creature slowly unfolding. He could feel the sense of freedom flowing through him, a sense of space he had not allowed himself in years.
The space to breathe.
The space to feel.
Toreallyfeel.
The soft but urgent press of Aerin’s lips against his made his blood pound in his veins. The touch of her hands made every nerve beneath his skin come to throbbing life. Her taste was sweet and yet exotic, forbidden and yet addictive in a way he had no power to resist. Where was his damn willpower? The iron-strong willpower that had made him steer clear of intimate relationships where emotions clouded everything?
He had not intended to sleep with her this weekend. Of course the thought had crossed his mind but he hadn’t allowed it to get too comfortable in there. But since making love with her, now other thoughts were not only crossing his mind but finding a seat to lounge in, order coffee and cake and stay put. Thoughts of not just one weekend with Aerin but a few weeks, a month or two, maybe more. Thoughts of what it would be like to be open to everyone about their relationship, instead of covering it up like a dirty little secret.
He didn’t want to make Aerin feel he was ashamed to be with her. He wasn’t...but he was conflicted. It was as if there were suddenly two men inside him caught in a vicious tug of war. One wanted to keep safe inside the fortress, madly locking all the points of exit, while the other was sliding the bolts back, taking the fortress down brick by brick, nail by nail.
Drake was the man who didn’t do relationships. He was the no strings, no rings, no promises guy who lived his life as a playboy. But kissing Aerin had changed him, transformed him like in one of those old fairy tales. The frog had turned into a prince who wanted to get out of the murky pond he’d been condemned to and live in the real world. The world of love and happiness and hope.
But did that world even exist? Especially for someone like him?
CHAPTER EIGHT
AERINMUSTHAVEdrifted off to sleep after making love the second time, for when she woke, she saw Drake looking down at her with a contemplative look on his face. One of his hands was idly stroking the bare skin of her arm, a soft almost ticklish caress that sent shivers of delight down her spine.
She stretched her limbs and encountered one of his hairy legs. The sheer intimacy of lying in bed with him, let alone what had happened between them during their passionate lovemaking session, was mind-blowing. She was acutely, intensely, spine-tinglingly aware of him. The dark glitter in his eyes, the shape of his mouth that had given such pleasure out of her. The lean jaw with its generous regrowth of dark stubble, the strong column of his neck, his broad shoulders. Shoulders that had carried for too long a heavy burden from his past. A past he had spoken only to her about in such detail.
Did that mean he had a special place for her in his life? In his heart? Or was she being a fool to think he would ever lower his guard enough to fall in love? He made love to her so exquisitely it was impossible to imagine he didn’t feel something for her. But then, she reminded herself, he was an experienced playboy. He had made love to dozens of women. She was just another in a long line of conquests.
And yet, she didn’t see herself as a conquest. He had certainly never made her feel that way. Besides, she had been the one to instigate their intimacy. He had made her feel in control from the get-go. And yet her body had been out of control the moment he kissed her. She had no resistance to him, no immunity to the potency of his touch.
‘Sleeping Beauty awakes,’ Drake said with a teasing smile.
Aerin smiled back. ‘Hey, thought I was Goldilocks?’
He released a little puff of air that was part laugh, part something else. ‘Yes, well, you want everything just right.’ He picked up a fistful of her hair and trailed it through his fingertips and added, ‘And your hair is like spun gold.’
She rested her hand on his chest, right over the steadythud-thud-thudof his heart. ‘I’ve always been a perfectionist—just ask my parents and Tom.’ She gave a soft sigh and continued, ‘I’m not sure it’s doing me any favours, though. I mean, it’s great for my work and all but not so good for my personal life. I think it’s held me back. The fear of making a mistake has made me stall in some areas of my life.’
There was a long moment of silence. The only sound was the rustling of the bedsheets when Drake moved one of his legs.
‘Do you consider what happened between us this weekend a mistake?’ There was a sombre quality to his voice, a slight rumble of uncertainty she hadn’t heard in it before.
Aerin forced her gaze back to his. ‘No. Do you?’
One side of his mouth came up in a rueful slant and his hand continued its slow stroke of her forearm. ‘Yes and no.’
Her heart sank like a pricked balloon. Did he regret making love to her? Had she disappointed him in some way? Was he disgusted with himself for crossing the line he had sworn he would never cross? She disguised a nervous swallow. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel compromised. You didn’t have to make love to me. You could have said no.’