Aerin could feel tears pouring from her eyes and her heart was aching as if it were in a vice. ‘Oh, you mustn’t blame yourself. You were just a kid doing what a lot of boys that age do.’
His top lip curled in self-disgust. ‘Yeah, well, not all of those kids do it because their fathers encouraged them to do it. My father liked me to have a beer or three with him. Then he got me to drink spirits. He told me it would make me loosen up a bit. Not be so uptight all the time. Little did I realise it was his plan to stop me from protecting my mother and sister.’
Some pennies were dropping rather loudly in Aerin’s head. She glanced at his crooked nose and the scar on his left eyebrow. ‘Is that how you got those? Your broken nose and scar?’
Drake let out a ragged sigh. ‘I intervened one night when he was laying into my mother, but I wasn’t strong enough to take him on. I should have just called the police, but he threatened to kill our dog if I did.’ His throat moved up and down and he added in a tone loaded with sadness, ‘He did that anyway a few weeks later. He knew how much I loved that damn dog.’
Aerin was openly crying now, broken sobs coming out no matter how hard she tried to stop them. ‘I’m so sorry, so very sorry...’
Drake pulled her into his arms, holding her head against his chest, one of his hands gently stroking the back of her head. ‘Hey, don’t cry, Goldilocks.’ His voice was soft and soothing. ‘It was all a long time ago and I’ve managed to make a life for myself. What happened to my mother and sister should never have happened, but it did, and I could have prevented it if I had trusted my gut. But of course hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?’
Aerin kept her head against his chest, her tears still falling for all he had suffered. ‘Is he in prison now? Your father?’
‘He’s dead. It was a murder-suicide. I can only be thankful I wasn’t the one to find them. That was a neighbour who ended up with PTSD.’
She lifted her head off his chest to look at him. ‘Oh, Drake, it’s just so awful to think of what you’ve been through. Does Tom know any of this? Or did you swear him to secrecy?’
‘He doesn’t know. I reinvented myself after the event, I felt compelled to. Cawthorn isn’t even my real name. I changed my name by deed poll as soon as I was able to. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life being identified as the tragic kid who lost his entire family. I needed to move on and make my life count for something. To do something, anything, to change things for others like my mother and sister. But the figures on domestic violence are still way too high, not just in the UK but worldwide.’
‘But at least you are doing something,’ Aerin said. ‘You’re making a true difference in so many lives. The charity, the safety houses—it’s such an honourable thing to do to use your own time and money to bring about change. There’s a lot of talk about the issue of domestic violence but not enough action. Of course, any action you take now can never bring your mother and sister back but they would be so proud of you, I’m sure.’
One of Drake’s hands was resting on the bed close to her hand. She wasn’t sure whose hand moved first but suddenly his fingers and hers were entwined. Their gazes met and the air hummed with an electric energy.
‘I think kissing you must’ve unlocked something in my psyche,’ he said, slowly stroking his thumb over the fleshy part of her thumb. ‘I still haven’t figured out if that is a good thing or a bad thing.’
Aerin’s eyes flicked to his mouth and her heart gave a little skip. ‘Kissing you has unlocked something in me too.’ It had awakened her to full-blooded human desire, the physical urge so strong and insistent she couldn’t imagine having her first time with anyone else but him. He was the first man to kiss her. Why not ask him to be her first lover? It might help her overcome her cycle of perfectionistic procrastination. How else could she jump-start her life unless she took some decisive action? Don’t wait for it to happen.Makeit happen. That would be her new mantra.
A dark intensity shone in his eyes as they held hers. His thumb strokes on her hand were mesmerisingly slow and sensual, sending waves of incendiary heat throughout her body.
‘This...chemistry we have is not something we have to act on,’ Drake said in a husky tone.
‘But what if I did want to act on it? Just until we get back to London?’
His thumb stopped stroking hers and a frown was etched on his forehead in twin pleats between his eyes. ‘You’re not talking sense, Aerin. Nothing of that nature can happen between us. You know it can’t.’
‘Because I’m a virgin?’
He drew in a deep breath and released it in a rush. ‘That and because you’re someone I can’t just walk away from and never think of again.’
‘No one has to know we’ve slept together. You’re obviously good at keeping secrets, this one won’t be hard to keep, surely?’
Drake suddenly pushed back the bedcovers and rolled out of the bed on the opposite side to where she was sitting. He stood and then strode over to the windows and pulled back the curtains with an almost savage movement of his hand. He stood with his back to her, staring at the view outside. The light that poured in was so pallid, it barely made any difference to the room. But it was enough light to see his physical perfection.
She found it hard to take her eyes off his tall and athletic form, her gaze drawn by sheer magnetic force. Broad shoulders and a strong back tapering to a lean waist and slim hips, his only article of clothing a pair of black satin boxer shorts. The muscles of his long legs toned from hard exercise. An olive-toned tan covered his body and gave his skin a glow that made it all the more tempting for her to touch him.
Drake turned to look at her, his expression grave. ‘We have a problem.’
Aerin was conscious of the heat flooding into her cheeks. She had made a spectacular fool of herself, coming across as gauche and unsophisticated, practically begging him to make love to her when he clearly wasn’t interested. She rose from where she was perched on the edge of the bed with a sigh. ‘Save me the lecture. I get it. You don’t want to sleep with me. Sorry for embarrassing you by asking you.’
‘I’m not embarrassed. But that’s not the problem I’m talking about right now. Look.’
He pulled back the curtains a little further and she walked over to where he was standing and peered out of the windows. Snow had fallen overnight and it now covered everything in a white blanket as magical as a fairyland setting. The blue spruce pines were shrouded, some of the lower limbs bowing with the weight of snow, and the wide expanse of lawn was now a rectangle of white unmarked by any footprints, either animal or human.
‘Oh, wow, snow!’ Aerin said, unable to tone down the excitement of seeing it for the first time since last winter. ‘Isn’t it beautiful?’
Drake was standing right next to her, so close she could feel the brush of his upper arm against her left shoulder. ‘Let me guess. Number Nine on your Mr Perfect checklist isMust love snow?’
Aerin turned to look up at him. He had a sardonic smile on his face that should have annoyed her but somehow didn’t. She was getting to know and understand what was behind his mocking and cynical façade. ‘Actually, I don’t have a Number Nine or Ten. My list only goes to Eight.’