“You’re killing me, Sugar. I would love nothing more than to drill you into this bed, but I’m not doing a damn thing when you were crying just a few minutes ago. You’ve had a shitty night. That fucker scared you. Let me comfort you.”
She frowned at me, doing her best puppy-dog eyes. “I’m okay, though, Sir.”
I lightly tapped her lips with my finger. “Trying to manipulate me with your pretty eyes could earn you a punishment tomorrow, Sugar.”
Finally seeing that I wasn’t giving in, even to punish her, she slumped into my chest and sighed heavily. “Sorry.”
I laughed at the lack of sincerity in her apology and patted her ass. “Get back under the covers.”
She did as I said and lay there, staring at me. “Are you leaving?”
My chest thumped at the softness in her voice. I’d been working when she showed up and I still had shit to do, but there was no way I could leave her alone. “No. I’m going to be here with you until you fall asleep.”
“Thank you. I just…” She looked past me, into the distance, and shook her head. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel so terrible for doing this behind Sam’s back, but I’ve never felt so cared for. My dad wasn’t really there when I was growing up. After he and Mom split, I lived with her. I stayed here sometimes, but he was never home when I did. There’s just been a string of immature jerks and when therewassomeone that stuck around, it wasmetaking care of them.
“I didn’t expect to want this so much. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I do and it is, though. Sam has been there for me through everything. I’ve been there for her. She’s like a sister to me. And now I’m making a choice that would hurt her. I think Logan calling me an asshole upset me more than anything, because I feel like an asshole right now.”
I lay on my side next to her and watched as she immediately scooted into me. “You’re not an asshole, Sugar, and I need you to stop calling yourself that. I can’t understand what you’re going through with Sam. I know Barrett feels similarly, though. He’s afraid of ruining his relationship with his daughter. He’s not an asshole, is he?”
She shook her head as she toyed with the collar of my shirt. “Not at all.”
“Sometimes, shit gets messy. What we’re doing isn’t wrong, though. You understand that?”
She nodded immediately and furrowed her brows. “I never even thought about being ashamed of what we do. How could the sex ever be wrong? It’s between consenting adults.”
I grinned. “You have no idea how funny it is to hear you say that.”
“Why?”
“I lost everything at one point of my life because the type of sex I have is considered deviant.” I shrugged like it hadn’t destroyed me at the time and didn’t still affect me at times. “I was blacklisted because of my interests. Divorced, fucked over on a massive business deal, and financially destroyed because it got out. I was considered a pervert until a few years ago when Christian Grey came on the scene. Then, I became a tourist attraction.”
Sitting up and staring down at me, Sugar scowled. “You’re kidding. What the fuck is wrong with people? What happens between consenting adults is no one else’s business. That makes me so angry. I’m sorry that happened to you, Dominic. Clearly, you’ve rebuilt everything and are doing fine, but I’d still like to strangle whoever did that to you.”
I winced. What she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. “You going to fight for me?”
She realized that I was teasing her and stuck her tongue out. “I would. I’d kick someone’s ass for judging you.”
“I wonder at moments if I should kick my own ass for pushing this shit on you, when you’re so much younger.” The words were out before I could stop them and the silence that followed made my skin crawl. I kept my eyes on the ceiling, feeling like a chickenshit for not being able to face her.
Sugar’s face appeared above mine, pinched in anger. “You think you’re pushing something on me? Like I’m some helpless little girl who can’t say no? No one pushes shit on me. I do what I want. If I didn’t like it when you spanked my ass, I’d knock your teeth out instead of begging for more. I’m younger than you, sure, but I am not a fucking child. You’re introducing me to new things, new things that I happen to really like with you.
“I didn’t know I liked fancy chocolates until someone offered me one. Should I kick their ass for pushing chocolate on me?” She poked me in the chest and then let out a growl of frustration when I easily flipped her onto her back. “If I didn’t want my ass spanked over the side of your desk, I’d say that,Sir.”
I pinned her arms over her head and growled down at her, “Enough.”
Her jaw snapped shut, but I could still see the frustration boiling behind her eyes. She was pissed, and seeing her fired up made it harder for me to remember that I wasn’t fucking her that night.
“When you call me Sir, pet, you say it with respect. You don’t poke me in the chest while growling at me. And you don’t swear at me unless you want to have a hard time sitting for a week.”
I watched as her breathing got faster and her chest rose and fell. “I was wrong to make that comment. I’m sorry. I may not know you fully, yet, but I do know that you’re not a pushover. It was more a comment about me than you, Sugar. I still struggle with who I am sometimes. When you’re told you’re a sick and twisted pervert for so long, it can sometimes be hard to shake the feeling. Being with you, when I’m so much older than you, I can’t help but have moments of doubt. About me. Not you.”
Her face melted into softness, the anger instantly replaced with understanding. “I love what you do to me and want you to do more. I want it all. Do you think I’m a pervert?”
I rolled onto my back next to her. “No.”
“Okay, then. That’s settled. If the woman you’re fucking likes what you’re doing, there’s no problem, is there?” She fluffed her pillow, her eyes cutting to me. “You were married?”
I laughed and dragged my hands down my face. “A fucking lifetime ago.”