Sinking into the couch next to me, he stretched his legs out in front of us and studied me. “You’re sitting awfully funny.”
My teeth clanked together when I snapped my mouth shut. I could tell that my cheeks were turning red, but I pretended it wasn’t happening. “Where’d Holden go? I was going to apologize to him, too.”
“Home to try to perfect another recipe that you inspired.” Barrett grinned as he looked me over even harder. “Why do I feel like your ass is burning right now, Sugar?”
“We’re not talking about that.”
He laughed. “Fine. I’ll just ask Dominic for details. He’ll give better ones, anyway.”
“We didn’t have sex!” I lowered my voice and tried again. “We didn’t have sex. He just…spanked me. I yelled at him.”
“Yeah, I’ll be asking for those details later.” Barrett shifted in his seat and whistled. “Show me this ex.”
I frowned. “You saw him earlier. What do you mean?”
“The most recent one. The one who kicked you out. I want to see if he’s as stupid-looking as he sounds.”
“You know, if all of my exes are so stupid, maybe they’re not the problem.” I sighed even as I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I opened the app and searched his name while curling my feet under me. “You talk about Holden like he’s smitten with me. I’m not sure your perpetual bachelor would like that.”
“He’d tell you himself.” Leaning into me to look at my phone, Barrett inhaled deeply and then smiled at me. “You smell like peaches.”
“I—” Any warm and cuddly feelings I’d been experiencing vanished when I caught sight of the profile picture next to Jason’s name. Frowning, I clicked on it and let out a shocked sound when his profile expanded in front of my face, revealing that he’d gotten married.
“What is it?”
A hot, tingling sensation ran from my head down to my toes as I stared at the face of the man I’d been engaged to not all that long ago. The woman in the white dress next to him was no one I recognized, but that didn’t mean anything. He’d cheated several times with women I didn’t know. She looked fucking happy, though, and it made me sick to my stomach.
“He’s married?”
I dropped the phone between us on the couch and cleared my throat. I fought the urge to cry, but I could feel it was a losing battle. “I guess so.”
“Sugar…talk to me.”
I stood up and stumbled while trying to slip my feet into my heels. “I spent four years with that asshole. Four years of supporting him and washing his dirty fucking underwear. I had shit sex and worked as hard as I could to pay the bills for an apartment in his name because my credit was ruined when he bought a game console with my credit card and didn’t pay for it. I lived with a man-child for years, basically wiping his ass, and he decides to grow up right after kicking me to the curb? I mean, what the fuck?”
Barrett stood up and steadied me with both hands on my waist. “I’m sorry, Sugar. That has to be hard to see. You clearly cared about him.”
I glared up at him. “I cared about him like a scientist at the CDC cares about a vial of the plague. I tiptoed around his pathetic, sensitive ego for years! I didn’t push him to get a job. I didn’t push him to clean up after himself. I didn’t push him to do a goddamn thing. I wasted years of my life on him and he decides to grow up after I’m gone? The nerve of that giant, knuckle-dragging troglodyte!”
Stifling a laugh, Barrett furrowed his brows and nodded along with me. “He’s a dumbass, Sugar. Want me to ruin him?”
Big, fat tears filled my eyes as my emotions switched in an instant. I fought to keep them from falling and shook my head. “There must be something wrong with me. I don’t know if I’m just stupid or if there’s something about me that flashes like a warning sign. I mean, am I actually the problem? If he was so willing and ready to grow up and settle down, why wasn’t it me? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it’s not. I just…it hurts my feelings that I wasn’t good enough for a man like him.”
“Hey, that’s not it. You—”
I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. “I’m sorry. I just…I can’t hear you tell me anything nice right now. I’ll cry and I don’t want to. I think…I think I need to go home and see my grandma.”
“Go.”
“I’m sorry. It’s my first day and I’m leaving early. After screaming at one of the bosses. I don’t deserve this job.”
“Unless you want me to start speaking, you’d better go. There’s only so long that I can look at you near tears and not act.” He moved away and put his desk between us. “I’ll get your purse from Dominic’s office. Just wait by the elevators.”
I nodded and wrapped my arms around myself. “I’m sorry, Barrett.”
He pointed at the door. “Go on. Cindy will give you the good candy if you stand by her desk like this. Use this advantage.”
I smiled weakly at him and left his office, feeling a mixture of things. The scariest was probably that I didn’t want to leave. Not really. If I hadn’t put up boundaries, staying and letting him hold me would’ve been exactly what I needed.