Dad leaned against a table just inside, his face a copy of Mom’s. With the impressive backdrop of one of the finest conference rooms in town behind him, all done up in its Christmas finest, he stood out like a sour thumb. Nothing sore about him, just all sour.
Mom closed the door behind us and immediately turned on me. “Violet Faith, of all the things you’ve done in your life, this has got to be the worst thing you’ve ever pulled!”
I straightened my back against the crushing weight of her disappointment. “What did I do?”
“What did you do? What did you do?!” Dad’s face went dark red as he came away from the table and jabbed a thick finger at me. “Let me see if I can list everything I’ve heard! Sex candles! Doing some sick sort of live sex show in front of people! Sleeping around with multiple men like some sort of… prostitute!”
My spine grew weaker with each word.
“I thought it was bad when you were being a selfish sister and refusing to help your sister, Violet Faith. I was sure you couldn’t get worse than that. Just when I think you’ve hit the bottom, you start digging!” Mom turned her back to me and then spun right back around. “And the nerve of you to bringthatman!”
“Are you trying to ruin your sister’s wedding? Is that it? Are you jealous? Are you having some childish phase? There are two hundred guests arriving between tonight and tomorrow for your sister’s wedding. Over a hundred people are in that ballroom right now, whispering aboutyou!” Dad threw his hands up. “Those are our family members and important people in this community, Violet. You’re making a fool out of our family. And for what?!”
“I… I love them.” My voice was weak, and I cringed against the sound of it. I hated myself in that moment for not being able to say those words with the strength they deserved. I hated myself for being the screwup of the family again, without even trying.
“Youdo notlove them!” Mom grabbed my arms and shook me. “Good lord, Violet. Where did we go wrong? She thinks she’s in love with three men, Pat.”
“No. I should go out there and tell that man to leave. He digs up dirt on people for a living, Violet. You want that around you?”
I used the courage I had left to fight for Ian. If anyone was clean in the whole mess, it was him. “Youhired him! You two did that! How dare you act like he’s beneath you when you used his services! And how dare you invade Anthony’s life like that! You had no right.”
“That’s none of your business!” Dad slammed his hand down on the table. “We looked into Anthony, yes. It’s not your place to know that or question it. We make choices for this family that we think are right.”
“Including choices that may hurt your feelings,” Mom added. You can’t bring that man to your sister’s wedding. God, Violet. I don’t know what to do with you. You had everything your sister had, and now look at you. People are saying things about you that I can’t repeat. And that business you’re so proud of? You need to stop that. Our family name will not be attached to something perverted.”
I sank into one of the festive chairs and felt my spirit crumbling. Nothing in the room had changed, but the lights felt dimmer. I wrapped my arms around myself and wondered how I’d ever thought I’d be able to keep my men. I’d known something bad was going to happen. I’d known it would end.
“You always do this. You make a mess of things and run away. Nothing is going to help this mess, though. People think there’s a prostitute in our family! Themayoris out there right now, probably listening to someone talking about it. This is going to ruin us.”
Dad stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him, leaving me alone with Mom. I kept my head down.
“I love you, Violet, I do. This is just… terrible. Your poor sister. She doesn’t deserve this.”
Mom left without the door slam, but the effect was the same. I’d ruined everything. I was the worst. I didn’t belong. I was alone.
The confidence I’d been building up was shattered on the floor around me, in pieces that felt too small to ever be put back together. In that moment of darkness, I felt like every terrible thing they thought of me. Violet Faith, always the outcast. Violet Faith, never good enough. Violet Faith, just a little too chunky, dumb, and awkward for her own family.
I tilted my head back and stared up at the ceiling, wondering if I should even go out to the dinner. No one would want me there.
Ian would. The tiny voice in the back of my head that hadn’t been completely blotted out called out. Ian wanted me there. Ian cared about me. Ian wanted Christmas and beyond with me.
For the moment. He’d see the real me eventually and grow tired. I had to stop as I reached for the door to leave. Bracing myself against the wall, I sucked in deep breaths and fought for an ounce of composure. I had to be there for Rose. Rose, who might hate me if I ruined her wedding.
My hands shook as I opened the door and walked out, but I forced a smile onto my face and pretended I was happy. It was so similar to how I’d walked into Thanksgiving dinner, before my escape with the guys. I had to wonder if that was what my life would be without them. Numb, faded, dullness that sucked at my very existence until I just slipped away.
The nasty voice that had been silenced roared back to life. No one would care if I did fade away. The people I loved would be happier if I left. I was an embarrassment. I was a drain. It was only a matter of time before I made Ian look bad. Or Adam. Or Jayden. Then they’d be ashamed of me, too. They’d leave me standing in a hotel conference room, hating myself for inconveniencing them.
I felt like everyone was staring at me when I entered the ballroom. I tried to make myself as small as possible as I walked around the side of the room and slipped into my seat next to Ian. We were at the same table as Aunt Sue and Aunt Martha. I hadn’t even been good enough to sit with my parents and Rose.
Ian leaned over and brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I was about to come looking for you. Your sister’s dress looked fine when she came in a few minutes ago.”
I blinked away the urge to cry and pasted on that same brittle smile. “Um, yeah. We fixed it.”
Aunt Martha zeroed in on me. “Late as always, Violet.”
“At least she brought a man! I was sure she was lying at Thanksgiving!” Aunt Sue threw her head back and laughed. Aunt Martha joined her, and the sound faded away as I rested my chin on my first and sighed.
“Baby?”