Nodding, I took in his dark, curly hair and dramatic black lashes. From that close, I could see flecks of gold in his dark brown eyes. He was painfully good looking, with tattoos down both arms and across his chest. He was physically the bad boy, but I’d known his heart at one point in my life, and I knew he was good, through and through.
“Do you need us to leave?”
I swallowed past the lump of fear in my throat and shook my head. “No. I… This is just a lot of change, all at once. I never thought I’d see any of you again, and suddenly we’re all having dinner together.”
He rested his hand on my hip. “Yeah, it’s pretty weird, I won’t lie. I like seeing you again, though, and if this is how it is, I’ll take it.”
My mouth spoke my truth before my brain could put the brakes on. “Why don’t you hate me?”
He rubbed his beard and frowned. “Do you want me to?”
I shook my head hard enough to send my curls bouncing everywhere. “No! No, I don’t want that. I think you probably should, though. Each of you. So, I’m confused. You’re all being nice, and I don’t deserve it. I’m…confused. That’s the only word for it, I guess.”
“Can you just accept that we don’t?”
I pursed my lips and shook my head. “Probably not.”
“For tonight?” He smiled gently and looked behind me at the brownies. “We thought a movie night could be fun. Are those ready?”
Turning to grab the tray of brownies, I brought it around to show him. I’d scribbled “thank you” poorly in icing. “Whatever isn’t eaten, you take home.”
He exhaled through his nose and closed his eyes. “You’re testing my self-control, baby.”
I stared up at him, shocked and unsure of what I should do.
Finally, Ian opened his eyes and grabbed the brownies. “Movie night? And we can put the heavy shit aside for tonight?”
I nodded without even knowing fully what I had agreed to. I just knew that if he didn’t move away from me, I wasn’t going to be responsible for what I grabbed. When he did step back, I let out a breath I’d been holding and rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans. Glancing down, I saw that icing had made it down there, too. “Um. I’m going to change. Then I’ll be ready.”
He grabbed the forks I’d set out and waved them at me. “We’ll get the movie ready. If you hear fighting, it’s because one of these guys tries to eat more of my brownies than I’m willing to share.”
Jayden shouted from the living room. “Hey! Bring those in here.”
Adam popped his head into the kitchen. “Brownies?”
I slipped into my bedroom and left them arguing over the plate of brownies while I changed into leggings and a T-shirt. It was probably wrong of me, but I took my bra off and left it off. I was tired of feeling confined. Fuzzy socks completed my outfit and made me feel like going without a bra was okay. I looked like a lady in her pajamas, not someone trying to seduce men in her living room.
The sound of them still bickering about brownies made me smile and left me feeling oddly warm. My house being full wasn’t something that happened, so experiencing it was special.
Jayden and Adam were each on one side of the couch when I re-entered the living room, and Ian was in the chair with his brownies. I carefully sat in the only open spot and pulled my legs under me, ignoring the way they all stared at me.
One night of amazing sex with Jayden hadn’t managed to crush years of doubt in my body. I had new curves and stretch marks that hadn’t been there with them. I’d gained weight and filled out over the past few years. Having them stare at me ignited all my fears that they were noticing the changes and disliking them.
“What are we watching?”
Adam grunted and shifted on the couch next to me. “Some scary movie. We each remember you liking scary movies, so we figured it’d be a safe bet.”
I grinned and nodded. “I love scary movies. They just don’t love me.”
“Yeah, we remember how scared you’d get, too. It might’ve had something to do with our decision.” Jayden winked at me and nodded to Ian. “He chose brownies over you, by the way.”
Ian scowled. “Fucker. I did not. I just didn’t want to sit next to those two. They eat like garbage disposals. I’m pretty sure I saw Jayden eat chicken bones.”
“You licked your plate.” Adam laughed and motioned at Jayden and Ian to be quiet. “Movie time. You can fight on your own time.”
I rested my elbow on my knee and my chin in my hand. I wasn’t sure what the hell was happening. Listening to them play around made me feel like they’d been buddies for forever, but I knew they were basically strangers.
“I’m willing to share my brownies with you, Vi.” Ian stretched his legs out in front of him and wagged his brows. “You could even sit with me.”