You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.
—Albert Einstein
Truitt
THE NURSE LOOKED at me with a stunned expression as she asked for the second time, “What did you say you think you broke?”
I sighed while my brother Roger leaned forward and cleared his throat. “His dick. Is it even possible to break a dick?”
After a glare directed at my brother, I turned back to the nurse. “There was a bit of an accident while we were hiking. I’m not going to lie, I’m in a lot of pain, so if we could make sure it’s not severely injured and figure out why my balls…I mean, my testicles, feel like they’re in the pit of my stomach, I would be forever grateful.”
Her eyes went from mine directly down to my junk. When she bit into her lip, I fought to roll my eyes. My looks were not something I was ignorant of. I knew women thought I was good looking. I had a mirror, I saw what I looked like. Good genes and a healthy regimen of food and exercise was the cause of said good looks and a body I was damn proud of. I fucking worked hard enough for it.
Most men would relish the attention of a beautiful woman, but I had grown tired of it early on. The idea that a woman wanted to sleep with me because I had a nice body and a pretty face wasn’t something that interested me anymore, or honestly, maybe ever. Unlike my older brother, who played his cards all the damn time.
“Are you asking me to examine you?” the nurse asked as a flush crept up her neck to her cheeks.
Roger laughed, and that caused her to focus on him instead of my throbbing dick. “That could either make his pain worse, or better, depending on if the idiot actually broke it.”
The nurse cleared her throat and tried to look me in the eyes as she spoke. “Well, you can’t break your di…I mean, your penis. You can, however, have a blunt force trauma to an erect penis where you could get a condition known as penile fracture. It’s not really a fracture, but it’s as painful as one. Was your…”
Her eyes drifted down again before they snapped back up. “Was your penis erect at the time of the…um…accident?”
Roger hit me on the arm. “Dude, if you had a woody while we were hiking, we need to seriously have a talk. How long as it been since you’ve, you know?”
Shooting my brother a look that said I was going to kill him if he didn’t shut up, I pulled in a slow, deep breath. “I wasn’t hard when it was hit by the branch.”
Her brows rose. “Are you sure?”
I felt my jaw open some. “Yes, I’m sure!”
“I don’t know, dude, wood seems to get you all hot and bothered.” Roger looked at the nurse. “He’s a builder, likes working with wood and his hands.”
She nodded. “Oh, I see.”
I shook my head at her. “Wait, what do you mean, you see? What’s that supposed to mean?”
The nurse shrugged and looked between me and Roger.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I wasn’t hard, hiking doesn’t make me hard. Wood doesn’t make me hard. Women make me hard. Women, only women.”
She started to chew on her lip again before she said, “Well, with a penile fracture you’ll hear a popping or a crack. It will swell, enough that you’ll notice it’s swollen.”
I looked down at my junk, then glanced up to see Roger and the nurse staring at it.
With a smirk, I replied, “That’s normal, it’s not swollen.”
“Oh!” the nurse said, with a slight lift at the corner of her mouth. “Is it black and blue?”
“Do you want me to pull my shorts down and look?” I asked.
A nervous laugh slipped from her lips. “No. I mean, yes. No, wait. We can certainly do a quick examination, so I can let the doctor know.”
Roger used his feet to push the stool he was sitting on closer to me. I looked at him blankly. When his eyes met mine, I could see the corners of them crinkle up. He was attempting to hold back a smile, or a big ass laugh.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I want to see what a dick looks like when it’s bruised.”
I placed my hand on his forehead and pushed him back, causing the stool to roll away from me. “Get the hell out of here!”
The curtain pulled back and another woman walked in. A stunningly beautiful woman.
With a frustrated sigh, I said, “I’m sorry, when will the doctor be over here, I don’t think I need another nurse.”
The new woman gave a humorless laugh. “I am the doctor.”
This time my brother let out a roar of laughter as I closed my eyes and cursed inwardly.