“I’m glad we could all bond over our mommy issues,” Jackal says. “But we really need to head back to the city, Phoenix.”
“Not all mothers are shit,” Tahira says, ignoring Jackal. “Mine is exceptional. And you won’t be a shit mother when you get that little boy back,” she says the last part to Gwen who smiles weakly.
I stand up. My legs are tingling. I have pins and needles.
“All right. Here we go. Wish us luck, ladies,” I say to them.
“Luck,” Gwen and Tahira say at the same time.
Their eyes are bright as they lock hope on me. It’s a heavy thing to carry. I wonder how Gwen bears the load of the Regions when I feel so weighed down by her alone. We touch knuckles and then Jackal and I are out the door, heading for our separate cars.
“Phoenix!” he calls before I can round the house.
I turn to wait for him as he jogs over. Before I know what hits me, he’s pressing me against the side of the house, his body wedging between my legs. The brick digs painfully into my back, but for some reason, I don’t mind. I rest my hands on his biceps, unsure of where else to put them. Being this close to him makes me feel drunk. His size, the muscle beneath his shirt. I know exactly what he looks like naked and worse—what he looks like when he fucks.
“Luck,” he says, bending down to kiss me.
I tilt my head back and let him part my lips with his tongue. And then there are soft, soft lips cushioning the erotic feel of his tongue in my mouth. I moan into his mouth and he pulls away breathless.
“Don’t do that, don’t do that,” he says. His head is tilted back, away from me, and his eyes are closed.
“What?What?”
“That thing. That thing you just did with the noise.”
I bite the insides of my cheeks to keep from smiling and manage to say, “Okay,” without breaking character.
“One more kiss,” I request softly.
As soon as his lips lower to mine, I moan again. I can feel his erection pressing against my belly. I shift my body so that I’m pressing back. Jackal is breathing hard. His kiss moves past recreational and now he’s kissing me like his life depends on it. I gasp when he lets up and that seems to excite him more because he comes back at me full force. I’m drunk with his kisses, my head light and my breathing ragged. His hand slips between my legs and I open up for him, lifting one leg and wrapping it around his waist. He rubs me through my clothes and I forget everything—where I am, who I am—all I can feel are those slow, excruciating circles. I cling to him, frantic for more. He tries to get beneath my tights, but I’m wearing a leotard over them.
“What the fuck, what the fuck!” he says into my neck. “It’s like you’re wearing a chastity belt.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“Something women had to wear tokeepthem from having sex. Waaay back.”
“To keep them from it? Why would anyone not want to have sex?”
Jackal laughs, the spell broken. He kisses me softly on the lips, his arm leaning against the wall above my head.
“People didn’t always want to get pregnant, Phoenix.”
“Take me back to that time,” I say.
“You should come back to the compound with me tonight. Sleep in my bed.”
I duck underneath his arm and stare at him. “Are you crazy? We can’t be seen together. Ever. It would wreck everything.”
“I take lessons from you. I’ve kissed you in front of a room full of people—what are you talking about?”
“Well, that’s the last time. If we’re going to steal a baby together, we can’t take any unnecessary risks.” I fold my arms across my chest and he watches, amused.
He pulls my arms down and tugs me close. “You’ve become a very necessary risk that I want to keep taking.”
TWENTY
JACKAL