She looks around, wide-eyed, and spots her little pink briefs curled on the foot of my bed. She flushes and picks them up, shoving them at me. “Put them in your pocket,” she demands.
I almost choke on my tongue. “What?”
She scowls. “I can’tput them on, I don’t want a damn yeast infection. And I’m a woman, I don’t have pockets.” When I don’t move, she just huffs, balling them up and stuffing them in my trouser pocket. “If you’re not going to take my panties off before you finger me, you should at least have the decency to launder them,” she mutters. “These were forty quid, I’m not just throwing them away—”
I cup her neck and pull her into another kiss. She sighs, melting against my front. I wait until she’s nice and relaxed, then slide my hand into her bun and snap the rubber band. Her hair falls out in a fluffy red cloud.
“Seb!”
I kiss her again, then head to the door to go pick up my daughter. I feel lighter than I have in weeks.
Forty-Seven
Beth
By the time we get back home, it’s evening, and everyone is exhausted. Seb and I both put Cami to bed, then we make some tea and migrate to the sofa. I curl up under his arm, my head on his chest.
Mary Berry discusses batter consistencies on the telly, and I watch the light from the screen flicker across Sebastian’s chiselled face. His words echo in my head.I think you belong with us. With all of us.Fear expands inside me, and I push it down fiercely.
I don’t remember the last time I really belonged with anyone. I don’t know if I ever have. I can’t bring myself to believe he really meant it. He was probably just happy and post-coital.
He glances down at me. “What is it?”
“Nothing.” I look at the TV and sigh. “That soggy-bottomed flan just made me super sad.”
He squeezes me closer. “Beth,” he growls, and I squirm as the low rumble vibrates through me.
I reach out and take his hand, playing with his fingers. “I still can’t believe they treated you like that,” I say quietly. “I can’t believe they made you feel so awful about yourself.”
It’s funny; I spent all my childhood so jealous of other kids, who had parents, and houses, and siblings. That’s all I wanted. Back then, it never even crossed my mind that someone could have a family that hurt them.
He lifts my hand, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. “Don’t feel bad. That was the best trip to my parents I’ve ever had.”
“But—”
“Stopworrying,” he murmurs. I open my mouth to argue, but he shuts me up with a kiss. It’s a very efficient tactic. I melt into goo as he crushes our lips together possessively, curling his tongue against mine.
The front door suddenly slams open, and we both jump. Cyrus strides into the flat, his hair sticking up and his face like thunder. There are still streaks of baby oil shining on his arms, like he hasn’t cleaned himself off yet. I frown, checking the clock. His shift barely started. “Cyrus?”
He doesn’t say anything, kicking off his shoes and tossing his keys noisily on the counter. “Do we have any booze harder than a bloody Carlsberg?” He demands.
Sebastian and I share a look. “I put a bottle of white in the fridge,” I say slowly.
He nods and storms over to the fridge, yanking open the door and pulling out the wine. Seb and I both watch as he sloshes a third of the bottle into a glass, gulps it down, and refills the glass. He swallows another mouthful, then freezes, looking at me. “Uh. I can drink this, right?”
I slip off the sofa and go to join him, putting my hand on his arm. He’s tense, all of his muscles vibrating with energy.
“Cy,” I say softly. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
He pulls away from me and takes another deep glug of wine. “This, this fuckinggirl—” he throws his arms out, exasperated. “Look. I’m used to girls getting handsy onstage. They’re not supposed to, I don’tlove it,but Iamshoving my bits in their face. It’s why I wear the sock,in case some horny fan decides it’s okay to pull my underwear off.” I frown. I don’t like where this is going. “That’s one thing,” he continues, “but thisgirlcame backstage, followed me into the bathrooms, and literally walked into my shower cubicle while I was butt-ass naked.”
My mouth falls open. “Oh myGod.Are you okay?!”
“I’m not upset. Justpissed.” He kicks the table leg, his jaw clenched.
“Did she touch you?”
“No. I yelled, and security got in there quick.”