My eyes widen. “No. Please, don’t.” Mum’s told me a thousand times that I’m lucky to be here. She says that Steve wanted to call the police when I hit him, but she convinced him that I could be sent away to a boot camp instead. God knows what will happen to me if I get sent home.
Sergeant Carson’s eyes are hard as granite. “You seriously prefer military camp to your own home? With two-minute cold showers and four hours of chores a day? No video games, no TV, no girls? You prefer it like this?”
I nod. There’s no question. I don’t want to go back home. They don’t want me there. Not my mum, or my dad. Not even Steve. There’s nothing for me back home.
For a second, sadness flashes over his face. He nods, standing. “Fine. Then you don’t go back. Back in line.”
There’s a footstep behind me, and I blink out of my trance.
“I washed your old crib blankets,” my mum says quietly. “You always liked them more than a mattress pad.” She offers me a folded pile of linen. I consider for a moment, then take them.
“Thanks.”
She sits on the sofa and watches as I carefully make up the cot, then settle Cami down in the new sheets, stroking a bit of drool off her tiny cheek.
“Sebastian,” she starts, hesitantly, “about what Steven said.”
“I don’t care,” I say. “I really don’t care, Mum.”
It’s the truth. I’m not even mad anymore. “I don’t care about how you treated me. I don’t care if you were right, or wrong, or if you had your reasons, or if you’re sorry. It doesn’t matter. All I care about is Cami, now.”
She scoffs. “Oh, please. You just found out that the girl exists.”
“And she’s everything,” I interrupt her. “Everything.” I stare at Cami’s sleeping face. Emotion rushes over me, squeezing my throat. “None of this was her fault,” I say quietly. “Say what you want about me. Say what you want about her mother. But Cami is a child.Mychild. Nothing that has happened to her is her fault. And I love her. I want her to have—everything.”
She’s silent for a long time. “Why did you bring her here today, Sebastian?” She asks eventually. “You’ve not wanted anything to do with me since your father left. So why are you here now?”
I frown. “That’s not true.”
“It is.” I look up at her. Her grey eyes are faraway. “He was always your favourite. You hated me, after he left. You blamed me for the divorce. And when I tried to find someone new, to rebuild the family again—you hated me even more. I could never do anything right.”
“I didn’t hate you.”
“You used to beg me to track your father down so he could have custody over you.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “Do you have any idea how that felt? My husband didn’t want me. My kid didn’t want me. Steven was the only one who gave a shit if I was dead or alive. What was I meant to do?”
I swallow the urge to sigh. “I brought Cami here because she deserves a family. She’s not in contact with any relatives on her mother’s side. She doesn’t have any aunts, or uncles, or cousins. I want her to have a grandmother.” My tone hardens. “But if I catch you lying to her, or manipulating her, or gaslighting her into thinking that she’s something that she isn’t—you’ll never see her again. Never. You won’t get a second chance on this. Do not treat her like you treated me.” I stand. “I’m going to check on Beth. Do you want to watch her?”
“I…” She looks down at Cami. She’s sleeping like a little angel, her plump cheeks pink. “Yes. Okay.”
“Okay.” I give Cami’s hair one last stroke, then go to find my nanny.
Forty-Four
Sebastian
When I get upstairs, I head straight to the bathroom. It’s locked. I knock on the door. “Beth? Are you okay?”
She snuffles inside. My stomach drops. Christ, is shecryingin there?
“Beth.” I knock again. “Open the door.”
There’s a sigh, the sound of a tap running, and then the lock clicks. Beth pulls the door open and blinks up at me. Her cheeks and nose are pink, and her eyes are shiny. I don’t even think before I pull her into my arms. She’s so soft it’s shocking; her skin, her breasts, herhairall press against me, and I may as well be drowning in an apple-cinnamon scented comforter.
“Why are you crying?” I whisper into her hair.
She laughs, wiping her eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m PMSing, or something. I cried when I ran out of milk this morning.” She sighs, pulling away. “I can’t believe I got that angry. I am so,sosorry, Seb.”
I stare at her, disbelieving. She’ssorry.Sorry, for being the first person to stand up for me in my entire life.