I nod. “Jack got a lot for her.” I can’t quite keep the reproach out of my voice.
“Can I help unpack it?”
I blink, surprised at the offer. “I… sure.”
He sits down on the linoleum and opens up the first bag. After one last glance at Cami, I join him, sitting on the floor at his side.Together, we unpack the clothes and toys in silence. I watch as Sebastian methodically pulls out each item of clothing, removes the tags and hangers, and folds it into a perfect square. All of his movements are so careful and precise, it takes me a few minutes to realise that his hands are shaking.
“Hey. Are you feeling okay?” I ask.
“Yes.” He doesn’t elaborate, picking up a yellow t-shirt covered with smiling flowers. In the middle, in glittery letters, are the wordsDad’s Favourite Girl.“I assume you picked this one out,” he murmurs, sounding annoyed.
I shake my head. “It must have been Jack.”
“Ah.” Seb looks down, his hair falling into his face. “Right.” He studies the shirt for a few seconds, then folds it up, adding it to the t-shirt pile.
I sigh, some of the anger in me fading. I’m still not thrilled with the way he’s been acting, but the poor guy looks absolutely exhausted. Maybe I should cut him some slack. “Look. I get that this is a lot to process.”
“I would say that’s an understatement.” He picks up a pair of tiny pink socks and stares at them, an odd expression on his face. He looks almost longing.
“And I do sympathise,” I continue. “I really, really do. It’s not fair that Cami’s mother kept her secret from you. It’s not fair that you’ve become a dad overnight. But it’s more unfair that a tiny baby was abandoned on your doorstep. Whatever’s holding you back from Cami, you need to get over it. Now. She needs you to step up and be her dad.”
A muscle jumps in his jaw. “It’s more complicated than that,” he says stiffly.
“How? You had sex, now there’s a baby, and she’s your responsibility.”
“I’m not talking about responsibility, I’m talking about capability. I’m just not—”
We’re interrupted by a sudden cry from the crib. Seb looks up immediately. “Is she okay?” He asks, sounding alarmed.
I nod, standing and stretching out my back. “Hungry, I think. It’s been a while since she ate.”
He jumps to his feet. “I can make her a bottle.”
I’m surprised. “You know how?”
“I watched you do it yesterday.” He heads to the kitchen. Bemused, I pick up Cami and carry her over to the sofa. She squirms, crying quietly, and I rub her back, offering her the lion Jack picked out. She clutches at it, sniffling.
“That’s it,” I tell her. “Don’t worry. Your dad is making you some food.”
There’s some clattery kitchen sounds, then Seb reappears, offering me a warm bottle.
“Thanks!” I jog Cami on my knee. “Do you want me to show you how to feed her?”
He’s silent for a few seconds. “I guess you should,” he says eventually. I have to try not to laugh at his face. He looks like a man who’s been sentenced to death.
“Here.” I pat the sofa cushion next to me. He eases himself down, and I put Cami in his arms. He holds her away from his body, like a bomb that he’s scared will detonate.
I put my hand on his bicep. “Relax your arms,” I say quietly, ignoring the hard muscle under his shirt. “She won’t feel comfortable if you’re all rigid.”
He does, holding Cami a little closer.
“That’s good. Keep her upright, with her head in the crook of your arm.” He doesn’t move, so I gently manipulate his arms until he’s holding Cami properly. She stops crying and blinks up at him, her brown eyes curious. I hand him the bottle. “Tilt it, so there’s not too much air getting in the top. She should latch on pretty quickly.”
He holds the bottle to her mouth, and watches as she latches onto the rubber teat, gulping away happily. I rub her belly. “Aw, you were hungry, huh?”
His brow furrows. “Did Jack not feed her enough this morning?”
I shake my head. “We tried to give her a morning snack when we were out, but she was too excited.”