Suddenly, Cami lets out a loud cry.
Beth stiffens, jerking away from me so fast she almost smacks me in the face. Her eyes are wide and horrified.
“Beth?” I ask, concerned. “Hey. Are you okay?”
She stands, breathing hard. “I, um…” She presses a hand to her hot cheek. “I still need the loo,” she mumbles, pushing out her chair and practically running to the ladies’ bathroom. I watch her disappear, my heart sinking.
I’m so goddamnstupid.
“I’ve screwed this up, haven’t I?” I ask Cami. She kicks her legs and cries louder.
Seventeen
Beth
Jack and I are silent on the drive back to the boys’ apartment. I don’t know what to say. My head is spinning. My lips are still tingling from the kiss. I don’t know what to do.
Honestly, I’m scared. Scared of how much I like him. I was perfectly comfortable admiring Jack from afar, nourishing my secret, unrequited crush. But now he’s told me that he feels the same, the whole thing suddenly feels dangerous. Like something could actually happen between us. As I turn the car into my parking space, scenarios flash through my mind. I imagine kissing Jack, running my fingers through his short hair. Curling up with him on a sofa. Raking my hands down his muscled back as he moves slowly on top of me, his lean, sweaty body pinning me to the mattress—
I shake my head hard, trying to displace the images.
No. No. I can’t. I promised myself that I wouldn’t date again. Besides, how would that even work with my job? If Seb found out, he might get rid of me. There’s no point jeopardising my whole livelihood, just to pursue some stupid crush.
I need to pull myself together.
I cut the engine. We both just sit in the front seats for a moment, silent.
“Beth,” Jack starts. “I’m—”
“It’s fine!” I tell him sunnily. I can barely look him in the eye. “Let’s head upstairs. I think jellybean needs her nap!”
He nods, picking her up, and we both head back inside.
When we step into the flat, the first thing I see is Cyrus draped over the living room sofa, wearing a t-shirt and a pair of tight black boxers. My eyes run automatically down his tanned, muscled thighs before I can force myself to look away.
I’m not sure what his deal is. So far, all I’ve seen him do is sleep, go clubbing, and lounge around the flat half-naked. He’s clearly not lazy—the biceps bulging out of his t-shirt make that pretty obvious—but I have no idea what he does all day.
He lifts his arms immediately as we step inside. “Missed you, ladybug,” he calls. “Come here.”
I carry Cami over, and he hugs her to his chest. “Missed you too, Bethie.” He tugs one of my curls.
I feel myself blush, turning to the shopping bags. “Another late night?” I ask lightly. “Or are you just a fan of naps?”
I don’t mean it as a jab, but an irritated frown flickers over his face, so fast I’m not sure I even see it.
A door in the hallway clicks open, and Seb steps into the living room. He looks surprised when he sees all of the bags, like he didn’t even know we were going shopping, then clears his throat.
“Jack, one of the betas found a glitch with the dialogue in the Emerald Lagoon scene. Said that the mermaids skip a few lines in one of the dialogue pathways.”
Jack swears under his breath. “On it.” He bends and passes Cami her lion toy. “Here’s yourfavourite,” he emphasises, making Cyrus scowl. “Hey, it’s bigger than your bunny, huh? It must feel nicer to cuddle.”
“The bunny is softer,” Cyrus argues. “Crap, where is it?” He starts patting around the sofa for the toy.
I step in between them before they start a dick-measuring competition over their stuffed animals. “I think Cami’s ready for her nap,” I say diplomatically, extricating her from Cyrus’s arms and carrying her to the cot in the corner of the room. She flops down on the mattress, but her eyes are wide open, so I stroke her hair back, singing under my breath. I can’t remember any lullabies, so I just sing ‘The Room Where It Happens’ fromHamiltonvery quietly, and hope she finds it soothing.
Eventually, her tiny eyes close. Jack disappears into his bedroom. Cyrus mutters something about the gym, grabbing his bag and heading out of the front door. And then it’s just me and Sebastian.
“Good trip?” He asks tightly.